Welcome, you're entitled to my opinion

2005-02-18T15:45:00.000+08:00

We're only a week away from the release of the "O"- level results and to be honest, I am not looking forward to finding out how I actually scored for the exams, and if you were me, you wouldn't either. But I do know that whatever happens, there is no wayI'm going back to Innova JC after the first three months. No way at all. The people there are just impossible. For starters, there are people with names like Keax, Hexacoto, Chanel, Leyhana, At and Cornelius in the Arts Stream. I'm sure you've heard of people walking, taking the bus to school, or the MRT, or being driven by their parents, but I'm dead sure you've never heard of anyone who rides an unicycle to school. Well, guess what? There's one in Innova! His name is Shaun and he's from my class, and he's a complete douche. And it's not as if it's some kind of busking situation either; you could just W A L K. Yeah, it's a conveyance that gets him wherever he's going marginally faster than if he were just walking, but by that logic, why not just walk everywhere on stilts? You can take much bigger strides! In conclusion, if you don't work for Cirque Du Soleil and you ride an unicycle, you're a knob.

And then there are people who smother their faces with makeup every single day, even during PE. May I ask, what exactly is the rationale behind doing as such? Do they think it's a turn-on? Are they trying to seduce someone? Are they trying to make a point? Or are they simply off their rockers? If I feel the need to look at vampires, I'll watch Buffy or visit Xiaxue, thank you very much. Speaking of Xiaxue, I have a bee in my bonnet about that thing. I'll talk about it later on.

And may I add here that I'm really incredibly glad that I actually went to a mixed school like Anderson because even though the people there were butt-ugly (someone mentioned Hui Hian that day during a conversation and I wonder how she's doing. Usually, most pigs are slaughtered around the time of Chinese New Year so she could be dead by now) , at least I have some proper knowledge of how to behave in front of the opposite gender. The single-gender school people are in IJC are for the most part, pathetic. There are basically two types: those that flirt like there's no tomorrow (Specimen A) and the homosexuals (Specimen B).

Specimen A: Usually, you will find this girl sitting by herself, surrounded by a group of guys at a table in the canteen. Her wallet is full of neoprints of her other slut friends doing 'act-cute' poses and she's usually one of those that enjoys smothering her face with makeup. They laugh every 10 to 20 seconds, probably because they're too busy drooling at each other to string together a proper coherent sentence, and even if they weren't salivating, they'd still be too dumb to do so anyway. Topics covered include what music they like, what food they like, and whatever goes in those dumb autograph books girls like to carry. If you played stupid cheesy music, hired a bad host (Gurmit Singh immediately springs to mind) and got about 50 of these people together, you could probably make a speed dating show out of the whole thing.

Specimen B: "Amanda, can I have your number?"- I don't really need to elaborate any further.

Also, there's this girl I completely detest. I think her name's Averlyn or something and she's from NYGS. Alright, first of all, she has an accent and everyone knows that ah seemply hate arc-cents, dahhhlllinggg. Secondly, she's so incredibly perky and cheerful I just cannot tolerate it. Thirdly, I hear she's quite a snot. The regulation is that we can only wear our home shirt but our school bottom on Chinese New Year Eve (not that I know about it because I didn't even turn up for it), so some girl wore her home shirt and home bottom to school. Averlyn did so as well, and as fate would have it, they bumped into each other. At which point, Averlyn informed the girl that she wasn't supposed to wear the bottom. The girl then pointed out to Averlyn that she was wearing her home bottom as well. Averlyn then said: "I can, because I'm a councillor". Er, right. If you're a councillor, you might not want to wear your status so proudly on your sleeve. It's not as if it's that glamorous to be one. And also, since when did being a councillor grant you special rights like not wearing the attire the school has stipulated? And this is not the only incident. I hear she once told off some girl just because she couldn't learn the moves to a dance in time. And you wonder why I hate girls from girls' schools.

Nowadays I simply dread going to school completely, and I'm really lucky to have people like Amanda, Matthew, Sangita, Aileen, Yuan Ru, Juliana, Ying Ying, Yuen Yin, Jason, Loh, Sharini, Jasmine Lim, Hilwa, Fais and Meiyan by my side to keep me sane for the duration of the day and to drag me along from class to class.

Now, Xiaxue. Seriously, what is wrong with her? There are certain limits when it comes to blogging, and even I try to stick to them as much as possible. Sure, it's nice to be outrageous and controversial and daring but Xiaxue's doing it to the extent that she's just becoming an embarrassment both to herself, and on the Singaporean society because of the fame, or rather, notoriety she's gaining. I hear that she recently spoke out on Christianity. Whatever it is, it couldn't have been good, because it's common knowledge that Xiaxue has nothing good to say about anything but herself. And when a bunch of Harvard graduates lambasted her and her brazen behavior and she couldn't hold them off, she ended up deleting their posts and saying "[she] didn't have to answer to anyone". What a load of utter bullshit. Where's the nasty, snivelling rat who enjoyed picking on other individuals with a command of English less superior to hers? So if you're listening, Xiaxue, for the love of God, just STOP. You're not funny, you're not exciting, you're not controversial, you're just a shameless media whore and I feel embarrassed to be from the same country as you.

[EDIT: I forgot to add that I think Desperate Housewives is the best thing ever on Earth. It beats American Idol, America's Next Top Model and The O.C. all at once. I can even forgive Teri Hatcher for starring in The New Adventures of Superman because of it. That's how good it is.]

2005-01-24T20:50:00.000+08:00

My computer has broken down yet again. And if you're wondering why the hell did I even come back to this blog, it's because Maple Story is once again down. For me anyway. Everyone is busy levelling up and slaying Balrogs and Taurospears while I'm here doing this. Actually, the whole thing began on Sunday morning. For some reason or another, my parents suddenly got it into their heads to clean up the house and my father, as was his usual wont, began laboriously tidying up the computer table area with Cinderella-like industriousness and with a resounding thud, smashed right into the computer, which promptly gave a giant shudder and moan and completely caved in. The internal modem just fell apart and all the King's horses and all the King's men didn't manage to put my computer back together again.

Side note: my computer has been crap for ages, so it's not really my father's fault. All he did was deliver the final blow to it, which if you think about it, is simply ridiculous. What kind of computer can't withstand a slight shock?

And to anyone who is reading this and think they're having a bad time in their JC, it's time that you read about Innova and find solace. Maybe after reading my entry, you'll come to appreciate the inherent beauty of your current JC.

So you say to yourself, Innova is a pioneering JC, with brand new facilities, devoid of snotty J2s, and an entire school culture out there waiting to be explored, so what could go wrong? Unless you're talking about culture in the 'bacteria' sense, there is absolutely no school culture whatsoever in IJC. Let's delve deeper into this in-depth analysis and exploration of the scintillating topic of exactly why Innova sucks balls.

1. The Orientation T-Shirt: What's so weird about the Orientation tee, you ask? After all, most JCs have them and they're pretty much all the same; a last-minute job by some J2 who got stuck with the job because he or she was way too inefficient to do anything else (not even make the coffee). Usually designed on a Mos Burger serviette with his or her 6 year old brother's crayons, some broken bits of pencil lead, a toenail and some blood (finding red paint is a real bitch) on the night before the design has to be submitted, most J1s and J2s usually wear this unfortunate garment for the first week of school before consigning it to the heap of kitchen rags in the house.

Sadly, no one sent a memo to Innova regarding this JC tradition so the school took it upon themselves to make it mandatory for us to wear our black Genesis Orientation T-shirts every single fucking day of the week. As if Innova JC isn't depressing enough already, they're making the students look like a god-damned funeral procession everyday. Seriously, we do when we walk in a crowd from the Woodlands MRT to Innova JC, what with everyone's heads bowed in silence, and unanimous grim looks on everyone's faces. Had enough of the ugly black T-shirts? Fret not! At only 4 dollars, you can purchase even uglier and smellier white Genesis Orientation T-shirts! Being ugly has never been this easy or cheap.

2. Insectopia: The Innova campus is also a thriving wildlife hub, and I'm not only talking about the real insects. Many of our students also exhibit primal behavior, especially in the school cafeteria. Not only do we have mosquitoes, we have milipedes, centipedes, dragonflies, houseflies, a toad, snails and weirdly enough, a giant Mushroom in our midst, who terrorizes the Arts stream. And remember y'all, she's here to study, not to socialize!

3. Derelict Campus: And for those of you who are laboring under the illusion that Innova is newly built and extremely clean, please dispel that misconception this instant. If we had a PSI in Innova, it would be in the 200's daily. Walking through the passage which leads to the canteen is like a trek through the Sahara, except from time to time in the Sahara, you have an oasis or a mirage of sorts. On the other hand, Innova has a water cooler which dispenses a very suspect-looking chalky liquid. And no, it's not sour milk. We are not that hygienic. The campus was "supposed" to be up in December 2004, just like how my L1R5 was "supposed" to be 6, and how Hitler was "supposed" to be a good guy, and how Ling Hui was "supposed" to be pretty. You get the idea. Also, an extremely odorous French perfume by the name of Chanel seems to be drifting around the school, poisoning people with her pure stupidity.

There's more, but right now, I'm running a little short on time, so I'm just gonna end off here and continue the bitchfest on my next entry. Also, I have to add a sidenote here that Sangita is the stupidest person on Earth. Ever.

*at 4 PM, on a sunny day at Aileen's house* "My eyes are always squinting... , I think it's because of the sun."

2005-01-12T21:41:00.000+08:00

I am dead beat. My hands, fingers, legs, limbs are completely aching all over, and we only had our second gym lesson today. Yes, not PE, but GYM. Referring to it as PE is so completely Singaporean and crass, which is not cool enough for some people *coughBellatrixianscough*, so I'm going to take a leaf out of their book and refer to it as gym. God, any moment now I'm going to start flirting at lockers, forming Unicorn clubs and organizing pool parties or do whatever it is that fake, affected, Angmoh-wannabe people do.

In case you didn't get it, this means I still cannot tolerate the majority of the people from my OG Bellatrix, even though we've already split up into different classes. Alright, let me illustrate with an example: During our first Literature lecture, there were people sleeping and not paying attention so Madam Chitra took it upon herself to disclipine us and tell them off for doing so. As Sangita, Aileen and I exited the Lecture Theatre, we overheard Samantha's scintillating commentary on this:

"Nyyahhhhh, AHhh thinnggg sheee's awnly arcting feyerce laaaaaaa" (Roughly translated into proper English, this means: "Nah, I think she's only acting fierce, lah.")

Samantha, Samantha, Samantha. Why would any lecturer want to ACT fierce? They're either fierce or they're not. Would anyone care enough about you to put on an act just to pull a fast one on you? Or are you too affected and melodramatic to be able to differentiate between what is real and what is fake? Let's throw you into a lion's den, and see if that sanguine attitude remains, eh?

"Awwww, dunnnn warrrryy, deeeeatttt lil' thingie's just arcting feyerce laaaaaaaaa"
*CHOMP*
*cue applause from me*

Anyway, there's more but if I continued telling you all about these people, I would take ages to finish this entry and anyway, I've already made my point: the ex Bellatrix people SUCK. Mostly. Yong Da is just hilarious and full of surprises. And of course, I don't suck. :)

Sidenote: Speaking of which, I have officially changed my name to Dior Lee Jian Xuan. Hey, since people can name their kids things like Apple (Gwyneth and Chris), Phinneas (Julia Roberts) and Chanel (who cares), I can damn well give myself a pretentious Romance Language name if I like.

More on Innova. It's always good to try to keep a low profile in the initial stages of school at Junior Colleges, because everyone's still trying to get to know each other. I am afraid to say Mushmom was too late to appreciate and understand the logic behind this point. Who's Mushmom, you ask? Evidently, from her moniker, she looks like a giant Mushroom. Not only that, she's got the social aptitude and coiffure of one too. Anyway, Mushmom is this girl from my Econs class who surprised all of us when asked to answer this question:

"What are your expectations of Economics?"

"I expect to learn something. I am not here to socialize, I am here to study."

And with that sentence, the Mushmom completely sealed her fate and reputation. Hitherto, she has become a complete joke among the people in the Arts stream and her peculiar outburst has even become a legendary tale among those in the Science stream. Now, whenever she talks during lectures, people start nudging into each other and giggling. Note to all 2006 J1s: do not, under any circumstances, look or resemble a mushroom in terms of either personality (this refers to you, Wan Teng) or looks (the aforementioned Mushmom). And don't ever tell people you're at your respective JC to study. Though it's probably too late for all the 4/6 people, as they have already done that. T_T

Okay, I still have a lot of unfinished rants but I need to move on or I'll never be done. People who come up to me at MRT stations and ask me to donate, please fuck off and die. There's nothing wrong with going up to people and asking them to do that, but please do it in a polite and courteous manner. You're asking for donations, no one is obliged to donate anything to you, so lose the attitude, please, or if you can't, learn from me and don't do it, period.

Let me tell you what triggered this rant. I was on my way home from Innova JC after a PE lesson from 4 to 5 and I was dead beat, and this girl (who looks a bit like Xiaxue, but couldn't have been, because I hear vampires are afraid of sunlight) just came up to me and started babbling in my face about how she wouldn't take up more than 2 minutes of my time (that's what Wai Lan promised us once) and about some card that would give me a discount if I just donated $5 to some cause. So here's the thing: I've already donated 5 dollars to the Ren Ci Award Show last week and prior to that, I donated 6 dollars to the Tidal Waves Asia cause. I think I can safely say I've done my part for charity, eh?

So I just told her I only have $4. Guess what? She didn't stop! She persisted and volunteered to pay $1 from her pocket so I could buy it. It was really written all over my face that I didn't want to buy the damn coupon, but she just would not stop, and she started to look disgruntled and pissed, like by not buying the stupid coupon, I was somehow offending her. WELL, EXCUSE ME. Donations are strictly voluntary, so why the fuck are you throwing a tantrum? I then replied that I needed the $4 to buy my dinner, and she grumbled: "What can 4 dollars buy?". Isn't it ironic that she's actually championing a cause for hungry children across Asia? Anyone with an ounce of intelligence would have known that 4 dollars would have been able to buy porridge for at least 5 starving kids, but I guess since she's obviously such a pampered and spoilt dipshit, she wouldn't know anything about that. Sometimes I really envy people like Linghui and Jingying. No one approaches them for donations when they go out on the streets. Actually. no one approaches them for anything, period. Everyone's too busy looking for the nearest location to throw up, and seriously, I don't blame them either.

And before I end, this here's a severe warning to all the people who intend to come up to me and demand, no, extort donations from me at MRT stations: I WILL CALL THE POLICE ON YOU. Get that clear. And I will file a restraining order too, if at all possible. So you better watch out.

2005-01-08T20:48:00.000+08:00

The last time this blog saw light was on the 20th of December. Since then, tsunamis and earthquakes have devastated Asia, we've bumbled into the year 2005, two equally horrible TV networks have merged, bad, over-played songs have clinched the title of Song of the Year 2004 and the unfortunate majority of us have officially started junior college.

Man, I miss Anderson. I miss all the people back there, I miss 4/3, I miss the teachers, even the crappy vending machines that have probably cheated me of about $150 in my stay there. I miss the run down, uninhabitable temporary block and I miss the vomit-inducing canteen food. Dammit! I miss Anderson!

Innova? It's ok, I guess, but mostly it just bores the hell outta me. Our principal is pleasant, even though she takes a fortnight to complete a sentence. And the teachers (better known as the OGMs) seem quite nice too. The good thing about going to it is that I've managed to get to know the Andersonian Innovians better, like Juliana, Jason, Amanda, Sangita, Yuan Ru, Zhao Yin and Loh (Wei Long). Speaking of which, Zhao Yin brings the total count of People From 4/6 Whom I Don't Feel the Urge to Poke In The Eye up to a grand total of 4. That would be him, Calista, Chin Ping and Khant Khant. And there are the ones whom I've known all along, like AIleen, Matthew, Yuen Yin and Ying Ying. And my new friends, like Kimberly from Aquila and Yong Da from my own group. Oh yeah, and our theme sucks too. It's Genesis: A Star is Born. And we have not one, but two totally cheesy T-shirts which proclaim just that. And our principal kept on saying "Innova is a bright star in the north". Even our orientation activities are all themed after stars. Our dance was "Star Waltz" and the race was named "Race across the Milky Way". Talk about over-doing it.

The bad thing? My orientation group, Bellatrix. And yes, if you're wondering, all the orientation groups are named after constellations in the sky. I should seriously have gone to Orientation as a Science student and switched over to Arts at the end.

I have always been slightly more Westernized than the other people in my school back in Anderson. But boy, I have nothing on the people in Bellatrix. Actually, I don't really think they are that Westernized. They're just affected with a capital A.

Sample Speech:
[pseudo american accent] Like, they talk like this! *insert 5 second hand-flailing gesture* And they can't, like, talk properly! And they, like, think they're soooo coooooolllllll! *insert hand clasped to chest and bugged out eyes* And like, I think, like, it's a prerequisite to have ten 'like's in like, every sentence. [/pseudo american accent]

Ok, I guess some of them aren't that bad. I actually quite like Jiamin, Youqing and Yong Da. The three of them are still pretty OK.

The rest can kiss my ass. Especially Shaun. Shaun is just the most shameless person ever on Earth. No, wait. That's Joanne Peh. Okay, the second Most Shameless person ever on Earth, then and remember, that's really prestigious especially when you're in the running with people like Edwin Wong and Ling Hui. The first day of orientation, he boasted to all of us that he got A1 for his English prelims and that he wrote 7 pages for his English compo in the 'O's. Then on the second day, he stated that "Literature is easy", and on the third, he wrote a three paged essay for the feedback form and made Youqing read it. What an asshole. We get it. Your English is god. So you scored A1 for your English prelims. Felicitations! You have done what about 5000 other people in the country have done. What prize would you like? And believe it or not, it's actually advisable to write less for your composition in the 'O's so you won't be likely to make as much mistakes in it. Not to mention the fact that reading 7 pages of a composition from a vacuous person like you would bore an examiner to tears. And do you think anyone is gonna read your stupid essay? Feedback is useless. That's why it's also a synonym for a sharp, interfering sound, but then again, I guess you knew that, since your English is so fucking perfect.

Amidst the American accents, we have a French perfume, and ironically, she stinks. Meet Chanel from River Valley! Thankfully, she doesn't speak French but I wouldn't be surprised if she has tried to. Okay. anyway, in addition to being a ridiculously shameless flirt, Chanel is also the Drama Queen of Innova. She is completely over the top. She makes Marion and Bernice look like bleating sheep. Basically, she likes to act like some super-virtuous and wonderful girl in front of some of the guys in my group and she treats the rest of us like we're not there. And what's more, she actually raised this question during the subject talk: "Is it possible for us to like (the people in my group are never complete without the word 'like'), have, like, Philosophy for our 'O's?". Oh my dear Chanel, like, I think Philosophy, is like, for people who have a brain, and like, it also requires subtlety in thinking and discretion, of which both you, like, sorely lack.

I could go on and on and on but I have to get back to Maple. Seeya around for more bitching.

2004-12-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

Stefanie's Tong Lei is undoubtedly one of the best songs of the year, despite its late release. I just love listening to it, except for the fact that I somehow managed to download a version of it which keeps stopping at one part and skipping to the next song. Great. Not only is my computer screwed up, even my mp3s are getting in the act of it. And yes, the only reason that I'm blogging is because my Maple Story has just keeled over and died on me yet again. Don't ask me how or why. There I was, peacefully minding my own business and wandering about Perion and BOOM! Nope, my comp didn't blow up, though it probably won't be long before it does. I was sent packing out of the game. I really need a life. It's just incredibly sad that I consider blasting mushrooms into oblivion my best form of entertainment.

I'm in Innova Junior College! Went down to appeal with Yuen Yin* and Ying Ying* today and succeeded! Ying Ying got in, as well, into the science stream. Felicitations on your entry to the Junior College! Yes, felicitations. I read that somewhere before and I just had to insert it in. Not only is it way classier than Congratulations, it rolls off the tongue more smoothly. Felicitations, Ling Hui, you make me sick. Felicitations, Edwin Wong and Yong Hui, so do the both of you. I just could not be classier. Oh, and I had a near orgasmic ride in Yuen Yin's dad's Saab, which was totally cool. Nothing could have been better. The three of us were sitting inside exchanging gossip on who was going to what JC with random intervals of Maple and brother talk while whizzing along the road. We talked all the way from Innova to Pioneer (where we had to hand in our forms to release us from the JC) and back to Innova again.

And Innova? Rocks. Completely. The school campus is simply colossal, even though it's only half-completed, and especially in comparison to Anderson, which as we all know, is as big as an anthill. The principal wasn't seizing every opportunity to give an hour-long talk, and the administration of the school had all their front teeth. I'd say that Innova kicks Anderson's sorry butt all the way out of this galaxy. Not only that, we're also going to be the first batch of Innovians ever, which means we're setting the culture of the school as well as all the rules. To end this off with a pun, I'd say that the school is extremely appealing.

Hmm, anyway, after lunching together, Ying Ying and Yuen Yin went to marinate chicken wings for the 2/3 chalet at Yuen Yin's house while I headed off to Changi Airport to send Lita off with other people from 4/3. I think some people ought to be more careful with their comments. That's all I gotta say. Oh, and I'm gonna miss Lita lots and lots and lots. If you ever pop by my blog, tag here and say Hi!

I've always thought Her World was a good magazine, considering my aunts, who are both intelligent and articulate people are its loyal readers. But seeing as how Joanne Peh made their cover this month, I've lost every shred of respect I have for it. Only beautiful and talented people are supposed to make magazine covers, so why the fuck is Joanne Peh grinning up at me, all scummy faced and skanky? Even Lydia Sum in a bikini would entice me to buy the magazine more. GAH! Fuck Joanne Peh.What really makes me sick about her is that the papers keep trying to make her out to be some prominent rising celebrity when she's just C-grade trailer trash. Bitch can't act, sing, or model. She's not even convincing as a human. Why is she even here taking up precious space? And her outfit at the Star Awards? It looks like she gnarled it to pieces trying to curb her crack addiction.

I knew I wanted to say something else here. Oh yes, the Singapore Idol aftermath. There are Taufik fans who are crying out that Sylvester is getting the same treatment even though he didn't win He got the same contract as Taufik did. There's really no need to complain. God gave Taufik the ability to sing but he didn't give it to Sylvester. I think that's the best prize there is. And some Sly fans are really a bunch of sore pathetic losers. Hello? If you're going to cover a song, there're definitely going to be comparisons to the original. Otherwise, we might as well have a competition with everyone singing horrible, cheesy, self-written songs with lyrics like 'your eyes shine like pearls in the sky, no matter how hard i try, i can't say goodbye'. By the way, this sounds suspiciously like the song Sly sang at his first audition. Get real, please. It's Sly's problem he couldn't turn out performances which would do Bon Jovi and Jay Chou justice. Also, people need to stop getting on Douglas O's case for slamming Sly in the papers. Anyone with a pair of working ears would do so. And just for the record, even though I like Taufik, I think "I Dream" is one of the worst songs ever. I was listening to it on the bus today and I just realised how incredibly bad it was. Who on earth wrote this crap?

Don't tell me, it's probably Sylvester.

2004-12-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

S.H.E's Hou Niao is really really good. Fang Wen Shan and Jay Chou are an unbeatable duo when it comes to producing pop songs with that extra bit of something. I'm not saying S.H.E. can sing, just that I really like the song. But it brings to me the question. What exactly is a Hou Niao? Is it a crane? An albatross? A sparrow? A mynah? I posed this question to my mother and her reply was that "it's a bird". Geez, thanks. I knew it wasn't a car or the name of a shampoo, but beyond that I was really struggling. Does anyone know? Or will I have to live in ignorance forever? Tong Kuai, however, is mindless and terrible. And let's not even go to the cover of Britney Spears' Everytime, Bie Shuo Dui Bu Qi. And if your version of a song is inferior to that of Britney's, I think it's time to take a step back and consider other career options. Speaking of which, Travis actually covered Britney's Baby One More Time and it's awful. Travis needs to go away. We only have room for one Coldplay in this world.

Maple is fun but it gets boring after awhile. There's as much whacking of mushrooms as anyone can take. And can you just believe the different "zone"s in the game? There's Ellinia (or Ellina, shut up) which is a forest paradise, and on another part of the island there's Kering, which is a complete ghetto. The juxtaposition of places is just so kinky. In other news, I can officially kill a Slushy with one blow only! Alright, I should really not boast about my achievements in online gaming because it just makes me sound like the sad loser that I am.

So it's time for me to pretend I have a life and quickly talk about what I did when I went out on Saturday with Huey Sun, Yi Jun, Ying Ying, Mei Kuan, Terry and Jasmine. I hope Jasmine's feeling better. She got really strong gastric pains that made her convulse in spasms, and it was really quite painful to watch, so you can imagine how she must have felt. She couldn't even walk or see properly. We called her mother to come pick her up. Anyway, when we got there, Huey Sun and I cycled while the rest bladed and Mei Kuan bumped into Quan Yifeng from Mediaworks. The soon to-be-defunct Mediaworks anyway. Hah! And she and Yi Jun got on TV! Thank god she was pretty nice about it didn't go after Mei Kuan with a high heel, just like she did that time with the old man at the bowling alley and she got thrown out of TCS and everything. I guess she learnt her lesson. But if she had, it would have made for great TV. Mei Kuan's not really the type to back down against catty Taiwanese women wielding high heels. Moreover, she was on roller blades. On the way back, we all shared crappy ghost stories and lame jokes which most of us had heard about anyway, so there wasn't anything which was original or funny. What can we do? We're all from Anderson.

I can't believe Chen Shu Zhen from Mediaworks got dumped in the Mediacorp-Mediaworks merger. She was really good in all the shows as the snobby Kantang Lady and the Da Sao. And let's not even talk about the Star Awards. I didn't even watch it. The Best Comedian and Best Variety Show Host awards are always being won by someone from the Jack Neo circle, so it's not much of a surprise. There were some well-deserved wins like Ivy Lee's Best Actress Award and Lee Yinzhu's Best Supporting Actress. But on the contrary of "well-deserved", Joanne Peh beat Felicia Chin and Rui En to win Best Newcomer. I don't read the bible so which sign of the apocalypse is this? It was rather funny that Ng Hui got eliminated in the first few rounds though. This is what you get out of starring in Living In Lydia. Moses Lim won one of the 10 Most Popular Best Actors. He really should have taken two awards instead of one. And Gurmit Singh? Didn't. Hah! This is what happens when you try to hype him as such a "good" host and he ends up failing miserably and pissing off every single person in the nation. The guy just needs to shut the fuck up and go back to being an annoying, execrable contractor in Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd. At least he can hide his wretched acting behind that hideous mole of his in the show. He can't host at all. What was Mediacorp thinking?

More on Award ceremonies. The list of nominations for the 47th Grammy Awards was announced recently, and seriously, it fared no better than the Star Awards. I cannot believe "Let's Get It Started" was nominated for Best Record Of The Year. Come on! There're so many songs out there which're better than that. And anyone who calls himself "Will.i.am" should definitely not be encouraged with an Award of any sort. Alicia Keys deserves to win Album of The Year, if not to oust Usher's overhyped and overnominated ass, then because the girl can sang. If I Ain't Got You is definitely the Song of The Year. Why is The Reason in that category too? Have we really run short on songs to nominate? Overplayed does not mean good. I used to like it too, but ever since I've heard it on radio a million times, not to mention Sylvester murder it on TV, the novelty's really wearing thin. Norah Jones ought to win Best Pop Vocal Female, just because she's managed to hold on after winning so many Grammies and not disappear off the scene into oblivion. Lauryn Hill, I'm talking about you. And Britney got a Grammy nomination too! The world has officially ended.

No, it hasn't. She was nominated for Best Dance Recording with "Toxic". Admit it, that song is pretty good. The fact that Lean Back is a Grammy-nominated song is just sad and pathetic and makes me want to weep. On the other hand, David Sedaris and Bill Clinton becoming Grammy-nominated performers is just funny.

Sometimes I really wonder if the people I treat as friends consider me as a friend too. If so, then the way they show it is really weird. I just feel like my friendship is not reciprocrated. Or am I simply considered as an acquaintance, one to greet and exchange familarities with? Who knows.

Alright, I'm done here bitching about award ceremonies. I'm going to play Maple, then head off for the 4/3 Chalet. Seeya!

2004-12-09T20:29:00.000+08:00

Despite my recent outburst of hate towards Ashlee Simpson, I recommend that everyone listen to her "La La". It's dangerously catchy. I totally love it. Never mind that the lyrics make as much sense as Paris Hilton in a nunnery, I just love the tune. It's just like no matter how much I hate on Beyonce, I can never get sick of "Crazy In Love". It's just an absolute classic. Those damn horns sound so good. And while we're on the topic, "Lose My Breath" is an outstanding effort too. I bet everyone has watched the MTV and I find the part where Beyonce goes "Can you keep up [baby boy] Make me lose my breath [HER HER]" hee-larious. By the way, if you're wondering the "HER HER" is where she sticks her hand out and breathes mists of cold breath into the air. I laughed so hard when I saw it. As hard as it is to accept, breath is something which is to be smelt, not seen. And it's funny Beyonce's asking us if we can keep up in the song. The last I checked, she was the breathy one. My grandmother has bigger lungs than her. Don't be fooled by that busty exterior: it's 97% cleavage.

I really haven't been doing much recently. My Maple Story is still down and looks likely to be stuck that way. The Maple Story administration is just moronic. It seriously makes me wonder if a bunch of giant mushrooms and snails are really running the game or not. It's been four or five days already and I've given up hope on it, consigning the MSSetup.exe to the Recycle Bin. There're tons of people who're locked out of the game, if the forums are anything to go by, and no one seems to give a shit.

On a brighter note, I watched the Amazing Race 6. No one got eliminated yesterday though, sadly. I can't help but like Kris and Jon. They're nice, they're nubile, they're young and they're just raring to go. And they came in first. Go Kris and Jon! Hayden is taking her life into her own hands with the "I don't need this from someone who's 5'5 and is on steroids". I could totally see Lori and Bono giving her the People's Elbow or the Choke Slam or whatever, and I wouldn't mind either. She's a bitch, that Hayden. Aaron? Is just eye candy for the girls, so I don't really care for him. And speaking of bitches, Kendra is totally one too. She can't stop whining or complaining, can she? With all of Kendra's bitching and moaning, you'd think she didn't realize the show might not actually put them first class all the way. Dumbass. The face she made getting into the cab and commenting about the smell was bad enough, but then her comment about being in some "ghetto" just added fuel to my hate. By the time they got to the fish task, I was actively hoping that a goat or two would come up and chomp her. Speaking of goats, I found it hilarious when Hera nearly tripped over the goat in her rush, and it bleated in alarm, like "What the hell? Get out of the way!". I don't profess to understand goat, but that'd have been my reaction if some crazy woman was running at me. I love Gus and Hera but seriously, Gus's man boobs made my eyes bleed .Put on a shirt please. It's really not something we need to see.And I'm so mad that Don and MJ got saved on a non-elimination round. They suck. When are old people going to learn: THEY CAN'T DO THINGS!.

I wanna say a big Happy 16th Birthday to Matthew*! Had a great day today going out with him, Aileen, Ivan and Liyanah today to Swensen's and Haagen Daaz. Poor Ivan is being stalked by some creepy person called J who got hold of his handphone number somehow. He should really learn how to say 'fuck off' to people. It's an essential skill to survive in a class like 4/5. Anyway, back to Matthew, hope you had a great day today, even with the ice cream and all. Have a good 16th Birthday, and I hope you enjoy your two gifts. Ah, I know you will. And you had better share them with me!

I like imitating people. It's one of the few things I don't suck at. So, for tonight, I shall take on the personality of someone because I need to fill up space, and because I think it's funny anyway. If you don't, you can can it and get out of here. Okay, so anyway, without further ado, I present to you... Himbo! Himbo is 16 years old, and thinks he is God's gift to womankind just because he has above-average looks. In his free time, Himbo enjoys flipping his hair, combing it and preening in the mirror. He describes himself as "hot, cute and good-looking".

hmm, i'm starting to grow a goatee. i guess it's ok. it makes me look more macho, because i'm trying to move away from the boyband cuteness look. besides, it just reeks of masculinity and that's an image i'm trying to project. god i'm so hot sometimes i want to get hitched to myself. some old lady looked at me in the lift today, and i was like, dude and she was like, i want a piece of you, ya sexy thang. i was like, dude, no, i don't do it with the elderly. i got respect, y'know? besides my perfect flawless complexion would have looked really out of place next to her wrinkled one. k, i gotta go now. i'm meeting with my stylist to discuss my look for 2005.

2004-12-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

So here I am again. Everyone's Maple Story is working except mine, so I'm stuck here on Blogger instead of out there inside the game, whacking at mushrooms and crushing snails. Actually, now that I put it that way? Being on Blogger sounds better, but it's not. Maple Story is great fun and I can't play it. All right, I'll quit bitching about it but the Maple Global administration is officially on my shit list. Next time you post the solution to a problem encountered by the game users, make sure it works before you put the goddamned thing up. And it's not as if this is the first time problems have been encountered. One week ago, my first registration process at the site concluded with a giant lump of question marks. No, not over my head, on the webpage itself. To those of you who are wondering, I only managed to register successfully on my seventh attempt.

Also, don't watch The Princess Diaries: the Royal Engagement. It's trash. Aileen lent me her pirated DVD copy of it recently. While the good news is that the Indonesian pirates are getting better and better, the American film industry is getting worse and worse. The DVD was whopping fantastic. Its quality was probably better than watching the real thing itself. Absolutely fabulous. The images were so sharp and so clear. And this coming from a country plagued by poverty, corruption and disease. So's Malaysia, but their pirated VCDs are much worse. You can never trust Malaysia to get anything right.

Back to the show itself, it sucked big time. The plot was terrible. Princess has to get hitched in order to ascend the Genovian throne, but evil Lord cousin person tries to snatch it up and they end up falling in love. I will, however, admit that Anne Hathaway's talent is greatly wasted on saying "Shut Up" and making corny speeches about wanting to rule the nation. Between this shit and Ella Enchanted, can I just say that Anne Hathaway's agent should find her roles that do not involve her becoming a princess? Girl needs a new gimmick pronto or risk forever becoming the darling of those eleven and under. And Julie Andrews' overhyped song? Well, it was good until Raven joined in with the R&B beats and made it into an unmitigated mess. That's what R&B does. It messes up anything that has a smidgen of potential. Damn R&B! And what happened to Michael from the first movie? He gets a one sentence mention and the very idea that he exists disappears into oblivion as the plane touches down in Genovia. The script? Totally uninspired. "You're here.... you're blonde... you're in my closet.... I missed you so much!". Your Highness, Relevance called and asked if her exile is over. Though I found it perversely amusing that Heather Matarazzo was hiding in the closet in the show in light of the fact that she recently outed herself. The only good thing I can find to say is that "Breakaway" is a great song and Kelly Clarkson did a great job on it.

Went for Basketball and Badminton the day before. Or was it two days ago? I can't remember. Anyway, we played Badminton for only like 1 hour and went off to lunch and then to the arcade. Yeah, we're all a bunch of sorry suckers, but I can't help it. I love going to the arcade, even when I'm completely strapped for cash. There're so many Bengs and Lians around! Not to mention Mats and Minahs, and oh, what do you call the Indian version of the down and out scum of our society? They were there too. They're interesting to watch. Especially the Minahs when they wiggle their bums, lean "casually" against machines and pose in the hope that some Mat will come pick them up. Either that or they'll stick out their chest, which is encased in their best Von Dutch T-shirt, not that anyone can tell from looking at them, seeing as how the logo is probably concealed by the gap between their boobs.

Anyway, we minded our own business. Ying Ying went on the Para Para machine and aced everything again. Huey Sun and Yuen Yin went on it and they were pretty good too. I was crap, though. Figures. I'm lucky I didn't end up hitting myself while dancing. Oh, and while the others were dancing, I watched some cocky Indian idiots take the Daytona machines and they were thrashed by this little dude with his two friends. I didn't say anything but I was silently rooting for him. After which we headed off to Mei Kuan's house to play Block Catching, which was fun, though some people really need to stop trying to replicate the Amazon in their passageway. What tropical rainforest we have is housed properly in the Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. And if you keep dogs in your house, you should be accustomed to noise so stop bitching (heh, a pun) that we're making noise. Idiots.

2004-12-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

Dui. Bu. Qi.

2004-12-02T08:40:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

TAUFIK WON! TAUFIK WON! TAUFIK WON! TAUFIK WON!

Anyway, that was for the benefit of the crazy and deluded Sly fans who have to have everything spelt out to them in bold red block letters before they actually get it. What a bunch of losers. Anyway, TAUFIK WON! WHOO! I knew he would, anyway.

Though his first performance left me really worried. He sang "Superstition" really well on the R&B and Soul night but yesterday's version was just really meh. Thankfully, he pulled it back with a splendid version of "I Dream", replete with backing from the fine VJC Choir. (Main criteria for being a fine choir: Not Anderson). And he went on to deliver a very smooth and soulful version of Billy Paul's "Me and Mrs Jones". By that performance, he had pretty much sealed his position as the better performer of the evening.

Sly, on the other hand. Heh. Heh. Heh. His version of "It's My Life" was absolutely ghastly.

"COME SING WITH ME BAYBEHHHH". If I was BAYBEHHHH, I'd be fleeing far away, to a mountain cave in Kazhasktan.

"IT'S. MY. LARRFFFFFFEEEEEEEEE".

Then came An Jing. To quote Matthew, " 'Wo Zhen De Mei You Tian Fen' ". How absolutely appropriate. What can I say? He completely murdered the song, not to mention pissed off yet another bunch of people: the Jay Chou fans. I have Huey Sun on record saying that she wanted to pluck out Sly's lips when she heard that. I lost about 20 IQ points watching him sing, bringing my IQ to a grand low of -956720.

"I Dream" was pretty alright, but his poor diction was pretty evident, and he cracked like a broken porcelain vase fixed by Superglue on the high notes, and while it was somewhat in tune, next to Taufik's controlled and nuanced delivery, it was completely amateurish. But after all, that's what Sly is, isn't it? An amateur with too big a dream.

The only thing that saddened me about the finale was that we didn't get to see the camera pan over the legions of crazy, deluded teenage girls at the Stadium. They were probably folding their arms, sulking, crying, stomping their feet and whining like the bunch of sore losers they all are.

Exhibit A: Tan Shuqin, 12 years old, likes to type in sticky caps and is a trial to her parents. Amount of times voted for Sly: 5467 "oH MI gOSh! I cAn'T BeLiEVe SLy LoSt!!!!! He RoX!! SlY, wo YoNg YuAn ZhI ChI Ni!! ^^. YoU ArE My IdOl!! ^^"

Exhibit B: Lee Wei Lin Melissa, 15 years old, hard of hearing and extremely self-delusional. Doctors recommend tranquilizers. Amount of times voted for Sly: 6310: "i just can't believe tt sly lost. i just can't. all e sly fans voted so many times for him. anyway, i bet all the taufik fans are like sooo happy now. whatever, i think sly won. sly is so cute anyway, and he can sing much better than taufik. sly will always be my idol and i think he will do better in the chinese music industry."

Exhibit C: Caterina Neo, 17 years old, thinks she can walk on water because she has perfect breasts. Amount of times voted for Sly: 7503 "like, ohmigosh, i think sly lost. and i'm like so totally upset, because i thought sly, like, totally sang better, even than my biggest IDOL, britney spears! he was like, rocking it, and i was, like, ohmigod, he's such a cutie pie that i wanted to MUACKZ him and love him. and when he was doing the point-wink-smile, i was like OHMIGOD! repeat it after me, OHMIGOD! he's such a total hottie, wayyy cuter than my boyfriend Chee Seng, though i still love u Chee Seng, MUACKZ~. i haf a dream tt one of these days i'm gonna marry sly and i'll build, like, a house that is a shrine to him, and i'll totally buy all the guitars for him! it'll be so totally cool! and that towfik, is like, a total loser next to slyyyy! he doesn't deserve to win, at all! like, ugh! he can't sing at all! and which moron has a name like towfik? like, ugh! sigh, i gotta go now, mom says we're meeting Dr. Sylvester from the States. anyway, love you lots peeps! MUACKZ!"

2004-11-30T22:03:00.000+08:00

All ye who can still hear, heed my call!

Tomorrow will be the greatest of battles, one our nation has never before beheld, except perhaps when the Great McDonald's Hello Kitty rampage took place years back. It is one that every Singaporean must endure and it is a battle of little hope. Yet, little does not mean none, and there might be light at the end of the path, so we must persevere till the end. It is an occasion that all who consider themselves Singaporean must rise to. As Singaporeans, we are duty bound to protect our nation. The Singapore Armed Forces guard our sky, our sea and our land as well, but their powers are limited. They are unable to guard our hearing, and this war we will have to shoulder upon ourselves and fight ourselves.

A few months ago, Singapore Idol was borne and in its course, Singapore has discovered in itself a pool of unfounded talent. The show looked to capitalize on this talent and bring it to greater heights. And thus, the Final 12 of Singapore Idol were chosen by the general public to compete and vie for the final title of the Singapore Idol. But unexpectedly, the road to finding the Singapore Idol was fraught with much difficulty and many obstacles.

An ordinary teenage girl. Harmless and docile on the surface, but a raging sea of hormones waiting to be unleashed lurks underneath. A contestant, by the name of Sylvester Sim, unlocking this very secret, manoeuvred it to his advantage and rose to the top of the competition. One mindless and crazed teenage girl might seem harmless, but like ants together, they formed a giant voting bloc in the audience of the show and in alarming unity, they coalesced to drive out the talent of the competition, like Olinda Cho, Jeassea K Thyidor and Beverly Morata. Week after week, Sylvester's performances declined but their power went from strength to strength and continued to swell, like a hungry monster, devouring all in its path.

But, like in all tales, there is always the good to counteract the evil, the white to negate the black, and this good came in the form of one Mohammad Taufik Batisah, a contestant who was slightly under the radar, but steadily improved and garnered more and more support each week. His confidence rose and so did his ability to perform. With Olinda out of the way, Taufik is our last remnant of hope in a world of "SLY ROX" and "I love SLY, cox He's SO CUTEEEEEE ^^" and the final vestige of talent in this competition. He is our final pawn in a battle we are losing, and now, I must call on all ye who are not yet deaf and who can appreciate talent as being something more than "having long hair and being a faux rocker", to come to your senses and rally behind Taufik. The boy is our final hope and all that we have left. We must support him. Tomorrow, when the lines open, all the crazed, self-delusional adolescent fans Sylvester has will be voting and voting to crown him the Singapore Idol so he can utterly raze and destroy the local music industry. It is the finale of the show and you can be sure their voraciousness and tenacity will be doubled, or even tripled.

It is up to you, as a Singaporean, to stand by your country and stop them. By calling together those who have remained indifferent so far to the competition, the smaller contingent of Taufik fans, and the apathetic fans of the fallen finalists, we may still be able to prevent them from succeeding. While there is hope, we must continue to press on. I guess all I'm trying to say here is....

VOTE FOR TAUFIK, DAMMIT.

How to fuck up your career

2004-11-29T11:12:00.000+08:00

Here's to the people who have just taken their Os and are reading this: if you think you've made many grave errors in your papers, fear not! For there are people who have fucked up their careers, their families and their lives altogether. You could still get a job at the kopitiam downstairs serving drinks. Not for these people. Everywhere they go, their mistakes are extricated, dusted, analyzed and laughed at repeatedly. They can't even get a cup of kopi in peace. So what is the secret? Who are these people? What have they done to earn the dubious honor as the laughingstocks of our time?

1. R Kelly
Why just women? Do the kids as well! As we all know, R Kelly has been prosecuted for having sex with an underage teenager, and prior to that, he has been caught on CCTV making underage teenage girls strip for him. On ce famous for his duet with Celine Dion "I'm Your Angel" and the famous Space Jam theme song "I Believe I Can Fly", R Kelly has become the butt of paedophile wisecracks. In all honesty, he makes some pretty good music but the fact that he slept and peed on his god daughter eradicates any vestige of goodwill anyone has for him. And "Avante" makes me want to beat the crap out of my radio. And as if that's not enough, R Kelly has also paid the parents of the girls which he fucked hush money so he wouldn't have to go to trial. He also tried to pin the statutory rape on his brother and his brother had to hold a press conference denying the charges. This man is a sick Oedipal shit and his bitch ass needs to go to jail right now, if not for the safety of the many 14-15 year old girls out there, then because he's also responsible for Britney Spears's "Outrageous". The one that goes "my sex drive... my shopping spree...".

2. Michael Jackson
I don't even know where to start. Personally, I think everything just started going wrong for MJ when he bleached his skin white and had those dowdy nose operations. Since then, he has had more nose operations, abused and molested children of varying ages (6-15), taken drugs and alcohol, had his own kids and oh, did I mention he had more nose operations? Everywhere he went, plastic surgeons refused to operate on his nose until he found someone who could be bribed into causing more damage to the damned thing. His publicity nowadays is not coming so much from putting out albums but more so from the controversy he generates with his increasingly eccentric behaviour. For example, he recently castigated Eminem's video "Just Lose It", stating it to be "racist and dangerous to the black community" just because Eminem mocked him in the video. In what way is it dangerous to the black community? And of what concern is it to you, Michael? Aren't you, like, part of the detergent community? This is bad because I don't even like Eminem and I'm actually standing up for him.

3. Ashlee Simpson
You know, usually I'm a sucker for these pretty types who have cut an album and sing but Ashlee here is absolutely abysmal. I love her sister Jessica, but Ashlee has gone from platinum teen artiste to a complete sham in a matter of weeks. Anyone who isn't from 4/6 has probably heard of the unfortunate lip-syncing incident on the Saturday Night Live shows, so I'm not going to bother with explaining it. To counter this, she concocted an entire arsenal of excuses and reasons to release to the media. There was one that involved Jude Law's buttocks, and another one which was about her sore throat, and then one about not having the mike switched on, and my personal favorite which was that the producers on the show switched up the song at the last moment. Thankfully, the general public didn't buy her bullshit. After the entire SNL debacle, her album Autobiography fell from #16 to #51 on the Billboard and "Pieces of Me" which was doing relatively well on the Hot 100 slided from 21st to 47th place. What a fantastic crash and burn. Although if she doesn't live this down, she'll probably have to go back to "acting" (relatively speaking) on 7th Heaven which would be quite the nightmare as well. I think she ought to just stick to producing songs. "Pieces of Me" and "Shadow" could be pretty good if they were sung properly.

4. Madonna (or, if you prefer it, Esther)
There is no denying that Madonna used to be one of the major style and fashion icons back in the 80s and even in the early 90s but she too fell into a rapid decline and became a complete joke by the end of the decade. It began with her marriage to British director Guy Ritchie and the two movies she starred in which both flopped tremendously, respectively "The Next Best Thing" and "Swept Away". Then she gave birth to Rocky and Lourdes and moved to Britain, and she announced that she was running for President as she was concerned about the future of her children. More insanity ensued when she requested from the government to purchase air space over her mansion in the UK in order to prevent helicopters from flying over her land on drills and disrupting her meditation. I kid you not. She then proceeded to rename herself Esther due to her newly found Jewish beliefs.On a trip to the Tel Aviv Kabbalah convention, Esther was spotted skipping a sin cleansing ritual for a seafood buffet. I mean, come on, if you're going to convert to Jewish for the public to see, at least put on a convincing act! Oh, and the reason why she changed her name to Esther was because:

"I was named after my mother. My mother died when she was very young, of cancer, and ... I wanted to attach myself to another name," the singer says in an interview on ABC's "20/20," airing at 10 p.m. EDT Friday. "This is in no way a negation of who my mother is ... I wanted to attach myself to the energy of a different name."

What sort of energy, might I enquire, does Esther give out? I'm sure Esther in the Bible was totally cool but all I picture is some old hag on Social Welfare in her double-knit polyester pants, beehive hairdo and pet toy poodle named Tootsie.

Though, seriously, Madonna, or if you prefer, Esther, could be headed down that very route in due time. I find it absolutely hilarious that Madonna is still trying to cling onto the last remnants of her credibility and fame in her industry and I always look forward to reading about her antics in the tabloids. She will continue to be famous, just not the way she wants it. Who knows where she'll end up? Hosting a wine-and-dine for all extra-terrestial beings within one light year of Earth? Art-house films with Guy in which we watch her hand hold a cigarette for one hour (She could act in that too, maybe)? Completely deranged and wandering the Stop-N-Shop at 4 AM, wig askew and without any lipstick on? These are all viable options for her future and I sure know that I'll be in the front row watching, unlike any of her stage shows.

5. Kelly Osbourne
I have a personal grievance against this one so you'll have to pardon me. Challenging Christina Aguilera to a catfight at the European MTV Video Awards? Bitch, please.She doesn't have half the vocal talent that Xtina has and even if she did, Xtina'd still outclass her fat pimply white Osbourne ass by miles. I've hated Kelly ever since the Osbournes was aired. She's had a perpetual bitchface ever since she's been on camera and she acts like a supremo prima donna all the time too. I remember that time she was on Punk 'D with her mother. I believe Justin Timberlake or Ashton Kutcher was telling she needed a make over. She got so upset she started hitting one of them and Sharon had to pull her off and tell her to stop. What's worse, she's delusional too. Before she read the script of a show she starred in on ABC, she said she was offended when her agent suggested the part: "I was like, 'I am not fat! I don't want to play the fat girl! I can't believe you sent this to me!' ". Not fat? Relative to a bunch of humpback whales, maybe, but Kelly, you're fat as hell. If it wasn't for your last name, you'd never be able to make it onto the TV in a million years. Just admit it, you fat, flabby, spoilt, talentless, loud mouthed brat.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, failed careers. Well, I'm happy to announce that Kelly Osbourne's music career, or lack thereof, has so far been a catastrophe. How many of you've heard "Papa Don't Preach" or "Shut Up"? Exactly. She's into acting now. My advice for her would be for her to audition for Free Willy 3.

So there you have it. The 5 people in the entertainment industry who have fallen the furthest in my opinion (not that Kelly Osbourne ever reached a peak to begin with). Let us be grateful for the fact that we're all a bunch of normal unknowns living a normal life. Fame and Fortune? It ain't all that. Now, where's my cup of kopi?

2004-11-27T21:02:00.000+08:00

Everyone's looking for a holiday job and actually finding them. I'm the only person who's rotting at home, playing the computer and watching TV. Well, it's not exactly my fault. I don't think I'm all that inclined for the service industry and I'm sure many would agree with said statement. How are you expected to remain polite and smile even after 7 hours of working your ass off answering a bunch of rude-ass customers? No thanks, I'd much rather stay on this side of the counter and reserve my right to bitch and complain about those in uniforms whenever and wherever I want.

My mom suggested that I work as a waiter. I can already imagine it.

Customer A: Do you know where the toilet is?
Me: Sure I do. It's where we cook our food.

Customer B: Why is my food so cold?
Me: Oh, I'm so sorry, would you like me to put a cockroach in it to make it up to you?

Customer C: I want another round of plain water (after three previous rounds of said beverage and a measly order of spinach)
Me: How does dishwater sound? It'll be on the house, since it appears you're so short on cash that you're coming here to drink our plain water.

And there's been all this JC choosing as well, which is simply a pain in the butt. Why can't the government mail us our Singpass when it's time for us to participate in the JAE instead of doing it so early on in the year nearly everyone dismissed it as trash back then and discarded it straightaway? Just another one of the master plans on the MOE's part to cause the students of Singapore more grief.

Then there's the PAE. I took a risk and placed NYJC as my first choice anyway, even though my L1R5 aggregrate only meets the bare minimum. Ah well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. My second and third choices were PJC and YJC respectively. Everyone's appealing into JCs with their talents and skills. Ying Ying applied for NYJC with the AEP, while Sharon and Jenrine both applied into NYJC with their LEP, which just reminds me, I am good at nothing. There are people who can draw, ride horses, excel at computer games, sing or dance. I can do none of the above. I always failed my art in Sec 2, horses terrify me, I've won 1804 out of 4398 Gunbound games (and I won 750 of the 1804 because the opponent team lagged out), I never attended choir much (understatement of the year) and being on a para-para machine surrounded with jeering Ah Lians and Ah Bengs is one of my worst nightmares, right up there with being the person to present Edwin Wong with the Humanitarian Award. Urgh, even mentioning 'Edwin Wong' and 'Humanitarian' in the same sentence gives me a giant migraine. So unless NJYC is too poor to buy a proper loudspeaker, I'm basically rendered worthless in the eyes of all the educational institutions.

I went to Aileen's house with Yi Jun, Mei Kuan, Jasmine and Aileen for a movie marathon that day and it was real fun! We watched three movies only though: Ju-On, The Princess Diaries and Sister Act, but I totally enjoyed myself! Though seriously, I've learnt my lesson about watching horror movies with those four. All of them simply could not stop shrieking throughout Ju On and hiding behind pillows at regular five-minute intervals, even at the parts where something innocent was happening. I was mostly non-perturbed throughout the movie and am probably the only person who watched in its entirety (other than Jasmine, who owns the VCD). After all, if I can stomach the sight of Ling Hui at the Grad Ball, I think I can pretty much handle anything.

On the way home, I discussed a lot with Yi Jun about people in our school and on why 4/3 can blend so well but 4/2 can't. No offense to those who are in 4/2, I love your class as much as the next person, but I'm not exactly stretching the truth when I say your class is pretty disunited, and I'm gonna miss 4/3 so freaking much. Everyone in the class rocks, even Marian. Well, there is one person who's excluded from all this, but there are exceptions everywhere, aren't there? Speaking of Marian, I seriously wonder what's gonna happen to her when she goes to a JC. Probably fall in love with the dean or something. Or is there a dean in a JC? If not, there're probably plenty of tutors, teachers, aides, students and seniors for her to choose from. I'm sure she'll do fine! And so will Mr Kwok too, because he can finally get on with his life.

Can I just say how pathetic Mediacorp is? They might as well not have the Star Awards this year and skip right ahead to next year's when they merge with Mediaworks. It's a sad day when the most exciting category to watch out for is "Best Chinese News & CA Presenter". I mean, Qi Yuwu for Best Actor? Most Good-Looking, maybe. But BEST? He's just like any other teen Idol, and we all know teen Idols can't really act, with the possible exception of Felicia Chin. And yes, Michelle Saram, this refers to you. Though technically, you aren't a teen Idol considering you're so universally disliked by all. Why is "School Belle and the Beau" even being considered for the Best Variety Programme? How can a show that promotes superficiality and blatant discrimination be considered the Best Variety Programme? And besides, they have the worst hosts ever. Doesn't that count for something? Or is Mediacorp so desperately short on programmes they'll nominate anything, as long as it's not an ad?

And Huey Sun's having a hell of a time now, at the Incomparable concert. Lucky duck!

It's one thing to like Survivor. It's quite another to be completely obsessed and swallowed by it. My brother is a perfect example of the latter. He's been completely devoured by the show, and everything in his life, or lack thereof, revolves around it. He's really damn pathetic. All he does is repeat Survivor quotes, say the contestants' names (or tribes) over and over again, and rhapsodize to his friends about it. Everything about him is Survivor, Survivor and Survivor. He probably knows Jenna Morasca better than me, my mother or my father. Just in case you're wondering who the hell is Jenna Morasca, she was the winner of Survivor: the Amazon. And if you want to know more about her, like her blood type, age, full name, first pet, maiden name, number of teeth, medical history, credit card, address, email, job, ancestors, cell number, home number or number of strands of hair you can ask my brother. Today, I had this mental image of what he'll become when he's 60. Probably living in America, in a house built like the set of a Tribal Council, wearing his Survivor bandanna, holding a tribal torch and watching re-runs of Survivor 450: The Persian Ruins.

Oh yeah, and this is late news but Britney's finally taking a year long break from the scene to be a mom! Hurrah! Now, if we can somehow get a bullet inside 50 Cent and decapitate Cyndi Wang, the future of music in 2005 will be looking real good. Back to Britney, she's going to be watching Sex In the City. Well, as long as she doesn't get in on the act too. That's still Paris Hilton's territory. She's gonna watch Mandy Moore's Saved too. Since she's so into watching shows, someone should really suggest she review Crossroads and try to figure out what went wrong. I believe that'd take up most of her break. And as for her album? That baby's gonna be struggling to sell 500K, much less a million.

Speaking of Mandy Moore, I did some research on her and I hear she's taking a ten-year break. A no talent, bad acting (A Walk to Remember, anyone? Great book, terrible movie), horrible singer announces that she wants to step away from the spotlight in ten years. Don't you have to be in the spotlight in order to step away? Why wait, Mandy? The most notable thing about her career is that she was dumped by Roddick.

I will admit that she is pretty and does have nice style. She should pursue fashion.

Okay, I'll just leave the rest of the rants till next time. And with the finale of Singapore Idol so close, I'm sure I won't be short on those. Until then!

2004-11-26T14:16:00.000+08:00

It feels good when one is forgiven.

To err is human, to forgive divine~

Remember that always when you are mad at somebody and everything will be better.

Ivan* departed for Australia today! Have a safe trip!

And here's a very happy belated birthday to Karen*, who is 17! Thanks for being such a great punner and the funniest person alive. Your antics never fail to brighten up the days of all who are around you. Happy belated birthday to youuuuu! (:

And Yi Jun, Mei Kuan, Aileen, Jeremy and Jasmine (sorry, I'm too lazy to do the bold orange thing for all your names): My research on Ju On yielded nothing. Mostly people on the net, like us, found that the movie was a huge disjointed mess..

2004-11-23T17:20:00.000+08:00

I haven't been updating this blog in donkey years. Anyway, it's because I've been hooked onto playing Gunbound again. I'm totally insane. I play it almost 24/7. Yep, that's right! I've got no life, and I'm proud of it. There're lots of benefits to having no life, like the fact that you can finally make it into the newspaper. OK, so maybe that wasn't exactly the funniest thing to say, but hey, I told ya, I have no life.

Let's see, the last time I went out was last Saturday, to the CHEVRON. Yep, I spelt it correctly this time, so quit bitching about it to me. Who can blame me for thinking that it was Saffron? I mean, after all, it's a place for the SAF and technically, it was kinda like a SAF gathering. And just in case people don't see it, I'm gonna enlarge, italicize and bold the words for all and sundry to behold. Er, yeah, where was I? Anyway, the CHEVRON was really fun. I played Time Crisis and it was the shit. What could be better than shooting the shit out of people and hollering war curses while you're at it? I got so excited, I nearly sneezed once too but I didn't on account of I might have shattered the glass screen if I had done so. I'm so going to play it again if I get to go to the arcade again. And Bishi Bashi was great fun too. I love those games where you just have to bash the buttons quickly. I just pretended I was pounding on Edwin Wong's face and I beat the computer hands down! 7.46 secs to 6.50! Whoo!

My pool, however, was somewhat less successful. It wasn't really my fault. The ball kept flying off the table when I hit it. I guess I didn't hold the stick properly. But it's damn cheap leh! $1 per game! All of you should go there and play. Then we went for Karaoke! OH MY GOD I LOVE KARAOKE. It's the absolute shit. Now I know why my parents are hooked on it. It really rocks. Never mind that I can't hold a tune to save my life. We sang and sang and sang, from Evanescence to Faye Wong to The Rasmus to Abba. Mei Kuan* picked out some 5566 songs so I just covered my ears and went for a pee while they were playing at it. Some of the so-called MTVs were terrible, especially that one for the Rasmus. Just some half-naked guy lying on the bed. Everyone thought it was a porn movie when we first saw it. And then there was this video with random shots of scenery in some god-forsaken place, for Evanescence's "My Immortal" I think. I picked all the nostalgic hits, like Teresa Teng's "Qian Yan Wan Yu" and Cai Qin's "Ye Lai Xiang" and "Bu Liao Qing". It roccckkkeedd!

[EDIT: Oh yes, I remember what I wanted to talk about. When we got to CHEVRON, we were brought into the multi-purpose hall to gather and watch the dumbass family activities and telematches and listen to the moronic emcee drone on and on. (If you want to know exactly how moronic he was, let's just say that he may be the long lost brother of the idiot who hosted our Grad Ball) But anyway, all of us were there for the free food (I was, anyway. I don't know about the rest. Liyanah probably went there to feed a cat or something) so we weren't interested in that shit and so when they announced it was time for the activities to start, Aileen's mom told us to leave and go explore, which we did. Then, a giant shadow stood at the door and halted all traffic flowing in and out of the hall. No, Nagor didn't get a holiday job as a security guard, but you're close. Some idiotic fatass bouncer (for lack of a better word) was standing at the door and preventing us from getting out. Anyway, somehow Liyanah and Aileen snuck out and the rest of us were stranded inside. A lot of people snuck out too so he went after them, and while he was caught up, all of us ran out. Okay, so it's supposed to end there. It doesn't. After the dinner, which was 2 hours after the incident, the bouncer hunted down me and Choon Heng and some other people because he wanted to reprimand us for sneaking out. What an idiot. Firstly, it's none of your business if we sneak out considering you're just here to ensure the security of the building. Secondly, I doubt you can accomplish the aforementioned task anyway, so just work doubly hard on it and stop bothering young and impressionable teenagers. Asswipe.)

I really have to thank Aileen* and her parents for the entire outing, because I thought it was a great success and I had a great time. Thank you! And Yi Jun* and Mei Kuan* made me laugh my ass off throughout the entire outing, with all the Xiang Qin jokes and the auntie imitations and the nostalgic songs. You two totally rockkk! Just in case you're wondering who went, there was me, Aileen and her brother (Jeremy), Yi Jun, Mei Kuan, Jasmine, Choon Heng and Liyanah. Whoo! It was great. x)

Singapore Idol... I'm not all that worried. Taufik could turn up on the stage in a frock singing "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and he would still sound miles better than Sly. And I'm gonna vote for him. To quote Patricia's nick, I'm a Tau-ist! (pun!) Poor old Olinda. I still feel so bad for her everytime I watch the repeats of Singapore Idol on Saturday. If it had been Olinda and Taufik left in the Final 2, there would have been a great show. Which reminds me. I was reading the Today paper and this girl quit her job and spent 2000 dollars voting to keep her darling Sly in the competition. The good news (for her, that is) is that Sly is still in the competition. The bad news is that there's no cure for her. People like that oughtn't be allowed on the streets. Come to think of it, no Sly fan ought to be allowed on the street. Or Sly for that matter. They should all be sent to Jurong Island to do menial tasks and atone for their sins. Word has it that Sly's mother is involved in a money scandal. She's apparently bankrupt. I bet it was because she paid everyone she knew to vote for her son.

Hmm, I'm in no position to comment or anything, because I'm a faker and a hypocrite myself, but I think a lot of people are just incredibly fake and hypocritical. It's just so AFFECTED. However, my wisecracks are best kept to myself and so are my thoughts and opinions. So much for freedom of expression. What an oxymoron that is. :)

2004-11-19T21:29:00.000+08:00

Dear Sylvester,

I actually liked you in the beginning. You sang one of my favorite Bon Jovi songs 'Always', and I actually enjoyed your performance, despite what the judges had to say about you. You were shadowed greatly by the others in your group, but I thought you had a nice gravelly voice.

Then you came back for the wildcard show and you sang rather well. With your charming smile, you easily won the hearts of many girls who voted in droves for you. I should have known you'd be trouble when Gurmit Singh announced you as the People's Choice: that many had chosen you over Beverly or Shirin (they sang much better than you, by the way. You were only good, not sensational). But I still thought you were good and you deserved to be there, much more so than Jerry and Christopher. In hindsight, they were harmless compared to you. Many were blinded by your smile but only Jenrine* saw through the facade you wore and to the tone-deaf, inept piece of shit you really were.

The beginning of the finals saw you rise to become one of the top contenders. You did pretty well in the first two weeks, but Disco night was the turning point. When you came out with that horrendous blonde mop, I knew your game was up. Your equally horrendous rendition of Let's Groove sans falsetto sealed my opinion of you. You quickly joined Daphne and Christopher in the "Can't sing, but flash a smile and act cute and he/she'll pass through to the next round" camp. And as if you knew it too, your performance declined. With each and every week, you continued to spiral downwards, to the point that you became vocally weaker than even Chrissypoo. Everytime you opened your mouth, my ears cried and begged for mercy, and on the night you screamed in your terrifying rendition of I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing, I, too, screamed, but in pain.

Last night, you were just unforgivably bad. Your first song, off the soundtrack of the Phantom of the Opera was horrible, and despite your attempt to pull it back with Boyzone's Picture of You, you could not shake off the miasma that lingered from it. The final straw came when you tried and failed miserably to hit the falsetto note in Kiss From A Rose . Even though Olinda was mediocre too, she still performed miles better than you did. I would not even insult Taufik with a comparison to you.

You have gone from a harmless rocker-wannabe into a demon, making use of his smile and his looks and his charms to win over the raging hormones and estrogen of more and more female fans. Metallica was spat on by rock fans when they released their video on MTV. If the same people were to find out about you, they would burn you at a stake, and deservedly so. You outlasted Olinda tonight to stay in the competition, and advance on to the Finals.

But a new wind is blowing. The talent-voters are no longer split among two camps. They are united as one, and believe me, we will propel Taufik to become the Singapore Idol. Neither your smiles, nor your silly hand gestures, or your looks will avail you the crown of Singapore Idol. I will make sure of that.

With Slaps, Punches and Kicks,
Lee Jian Xuan.

2004-11-13T18:16:00.000+08:00

What do you do on your Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights at 11 PM? Sit around, picking your nose in the comforting privacy of the dark and wait for Morpheus to sweep you off into Dreamland? Attempt to call into 933 FM and squeal like a roasted pig when you do like a certain bunch of sad-asses from our school? Well, you won't have to wake up with dirty fingers or worry about someone hearing you on radio any longer, because here I am with two TV programmes to recommend to you, starting with the Twelve Kingdoms at 11 PM and Inuyasha at 1130 PM.

They're both cartoons, actually, so you must probably be wondering what the hell they're doing at a late night time slot. It's because they both fall under a genre called 'Cult Anime'. It's not a dumbass cartoon like Pokemon where all they do is run around collecting wimpy badges and preaching homilies like 'Be good to your friends' and 'Teamwork gets us through the day'. This here's real action. In the former, a girl is suddenly summoned from modern Japan through the Kyo-Kei into another time. Her two classmates fall in with her and they find themselves in a world filled with magic, monsters and hostile captors ever on their pursuit. As they travel on through the twelve Kingdoms, they gradually find out why they've fallen through and what this new world is all about. And the message is a much better one, like 'Slay the damn bastards with your sword or die'.

In the latter, a charm on the powerful half-demon Inuyasha is lifted by a girl called Kagome, the splitting image of the High Priestess Kikyo. Somewhere along the line, a Sacred Jewel gets broken into shreds and both of them have to search for every shred to piece it back together or else... something bad will happen. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details because I missed an episode but anyway, it's good, so go catch it.

Moving on, Daphne's been eliminated from Singapore Idol. Ding dong, the witch is dead! Hoorah! Her version of "I Believe" by Tata Young was absolutely horrid. And what was that butt-ugly top she was wearing? It was so hideous it was causing interference with my TV. And her version of Penny Dai's "Ni Yao De Ai" from the soundtrack of Meteor Garden was terrible too. Even I know that the hanyu pinyin for "spoil" is "CHONG HUAI", not "CONG HUAI". It's just so sad that even my Chinese is superior to that of hers. And my singing probably is too.

Sylvester's version of "Katrina" was just meh. The word for him is "meh". Looks-wise, he's meh. Vocally, he's meh. As an Idol, he'd be meh. "An Jing"? He did better than Lim Yu Kee on that one, I'll give him that. By the way, if you couldn't tell, the previous sentence isn't really a compliment. A dying bullfrog would sound better than Lim Yu Kee singing a Jay Chou song. At least he enunciated okay on his second song better than his first. And anyway, anyone who calls or considers Sylvester a rocker should just shut up. Actually, come to think of it, Sylvester considers himself a rocker so he should shut up. Though he should also shut up for other reasons too, of which one is the fact that he can't sing. Real rockers don't join an Idol competition, which is so mainstream. Ask true rock fan like Syaf or Nadia. No real rocker would join or be part of an Idol competition. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing.

And those Sylvester fans in the studio should all shut up as well, especially when the judges are trying to talk. Don't you realise how rare it is that Douglas O makes a lucid, not to mention constructive, criticism or comment? Why do you have to spoil it with your stupid screams? And no, contrary to your belief, shrieking your Idol's name over and over again will not make him your boyfriend, so dream on and shut the hell up while you're at it.

Taufik was off. His first song, while OK, was nothing like what he has done for the previous few weeks. His second song was terrible, though it was still miles better than Sylvester or Daphne. But he's definitely going to be in the finals. His fans, while not as rabid as Sylvester's are extremely united and enthusiastic. Plus, as the only Malay left in the competition, he's bound to gather votes from those from the Malay community. Olinda was obviously the best that night, with two amazing performances. I thoroughly enjoyed her performance of "Qian Yan Wan Yu" by Teresa Teng. It was soulful and passionate and though it had nothing on Teresa Teng, it did the song justice. Though vocally, she performed "Before I Fall In Love" better but anyway, Coco Lee sucks, so whatever.

I predict that the Final 2 will be Taufik and Sylvester, because their fanbases are so huge and brimming with brainless, tone-deaf teenage girls willing to sacrifice their pocket money to keep them in the competition. Olinda, on the other hand, will be counting on the combined strength of the people who can actually hear (not a lot of them around) and of the apathetic fanbases of the other eliminated Finalists. Just like Kim Locke, who fell to Clay and Ruben despite putting up a tremendous fight, Olinda too, will learn the lesson that an Idol competition is more about talent. It's also about getting crazy, deluded people *coughSylvesterfanscough* to vote in the thousands for you.

Today, I went to the library with Matthew*. And it was time well spent actually. He studied Physics while I revised my Geography, though I still think I'm gonna fail. And thanks Yuen Yin* and Vanessa* for chopping seats for us! Jenrine*, Loo Win*, Jason* and Carol* were there too. We had lunch at Long John Silver's and there was this girl with the most hideous Von Dutch cap ever. For reference, it looked like the cap version of Daphne's top. And some guy called Zension working the counter. Ewwwww. If I had a name like Zension, I'd never ever wear a name tag. Ever. Ran into an idiot on the way home on the MRT too.

I had a chat with Mei Kuan* too a few days together, and we talked about a lot of stuff going on in our lives. I really miss talking to her. Anyway, we talked for about one hour or so, because I had to go get lunch, but yeah, it was great. The thing with Mei Kuan is that both of us talk like bullet trains so we can both understand each other even when we're going at sixty miles an hour. I don't have to slow down or repeat myself. She told me not to bother so much about things which were out of my control and I advised her to live and let live. Can't wait for the 20th, when we're all going to Saffron for a free buffet, courtesy of Aileen*! Free food is good. Oh that's a rhyme! Well, like what Karen* says, once a Lit student, always a Lit student.

Oh yeah, I was looking through an old pile of stuff, hunting for my Geography map reading notes when I suddenly came across the card that all the Erhems gave me for my birthday. Haha, damn sweet lar. :) I felt so happy when I read it. I'm seriously gonna miss all of them: Jie Ying*, Jing Pey*, Yin Mun*, Peizhi*, Jingting* and Beatrice*. Funny and nice people, and a ray of light in the darkness of 2/5. Rock on, all of you!

let go of your yesterday

2004-11-09T13:41:00.000+08:00

Right, here's the dreaded one week that's right smack dab in the middle of the "O" Levels... except that it's not so dreaded after all. I haven't done anything so far and I didn't do anything yesterday, except for a bit of Chemistry and A Maths. The "O" Levels have been pretty relaxed so far. It's almost like EFL: there's one person talking and no one's paying any attention to him and there're a whole lot of butt ugly people at the front of the hall. Except in the case of EFL, all the butt ugly people are on either side of the hall. At least they dropped the IES Answer Sheet thing: that shit took two decades, what with 200 over exam script bar codes using one scanner and everything.

E Maths went pretty well yesterday. THERE WAS NO LOCI AND CONSTRUCTION OR TRANSFORMATION AT ALL. WOOT. I must have saved an entire nation's worth of children from Michael Jackson's predecessor to be this blessed. Loci is my worst nightmare (other than Mrs Goh naked, bald and wielding a whip). I can't do it, I can't understand the concepts behind it, I can't even pronounce the fucking word. Anyway, I think I might be able to get an A1 for it. Geez. I'm just overcome by the emotion of it all. I really never thought that I'd ever be able to say anything like that. Neither did Mr Chye, I might add.

America's Next Top Model is possibly the best show that ever existed. With Sara out of the running, the bitchiness factor has dropped by about 200% but it's still remarkably high. There're a lot of pretty scantily-clad girls,a whole lot of bitching, some niceness in the form of has-been supermodel Tyra Banks (and in the case of last night when they showed the making of her MTV, some bad singing too), and if you'd believe it, there's even some ego, in the form of Camile. I find it hard to believe Camile isn't a guy. She's so completely confident of herself. "I thought I acted pretty well", "I did pretty good, I thought". Reminds me of someone I know. My favorite contestant is Shandi, because she proves even geeks can look good. Well, cool geeks, not geeky geeks, so don't get your hopes up, 4/6. And she was rockin' last night, in the MTV. I thought she grooved and danced even better than Tyra herself. Way to go, sistah!

Speaking of top models, as I'm sure everyone has heard, Naomi Campbell recently beat up her maid in a very Singaporean turn of events. What is up with the abuse of maids nowadays? So some of them have a bad attitude. If I had to leave my homeland to fly over to a tiny-ass tropical island and work my butt off for a bunch of middle-class snots, I'd be pretty cranky too. Give them a break. Recently, I saw something in the news about a woman going to jail for pouring boiling water on her maid. There's just no excuse for behavior like that. You can't pour boiling water on people you don't like, no matter what they've done to you. I'd never pour boiling water on Yong Hui. Concentrated sulphuric acid does more damage anyway. Except Yong Hui isn't a maid, though his attitude sucks.

Urgh, excuse me. I just had a mental image of Yong Hui wearing a maid's uniform.

Now that I've cleared out the bile in my throat, I'll continue. Recently, in Yi Jun*'s neighborhood, some neighbor of hers rented his terrace house to a bunch of 'bangalas' (if anyone knows the politically correct term for Indian construction workers, I'll be happy to hear from you. Until then, deal with it) and apparently, during the night, one of the bangalas climbed over the terrace and played hide-the-salami right there on the dinner table with the maid of the house next door. Here comes the best part: they got caught by the owner of the house and the next morning, there was a great to-do because the owner of the maid argued that the owner of the bangalas should have never have rented his house out to them, and the owner of the bangalas pointed out that it wasn't his fault the bangala acted out his artistic calling to be a porn star on their kitchen table and that the maid was a consenting party anyway. At the end, the argument was eventually resolved. The bangalas moved out and the maid was deported back to her home country.

And you ask me: what's the point of saying all this? Well, nothing, except to say that I do understand why people abuse their maids sometimes. But still, inflicting physical abuse on people is simply not right, even if they had sex on your kitchen table. It's what Ikea is there for. No one should ever take their frustrations on another person physically. A lot of people would do good to remember this. Mr Bush, do you hear me? And you too, the one from the silly Taiwanese boyband with a slew of asinine pop songs. (I think one of them goes something like " Pei Wo Yi Qi till the End of the World").

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Think you can stop me from using the Internet by not answering my calls? Think again, asshole. I got the password and I'm happy as can be using the Internet here at home without your presence. And let me inform you that all of us are happy without you at home. Hopefully you can stay in camp and perhaps rot and die there without coming home to inflict your miserable personality on us. It's amazing that I'm actually the younger brother here, because YOU have the maturity of a 1 year old. And you are so pathetic. How do I know? I've been reading through your logs and most of them consist of you saying 'hi' to people and them ignoring you. Well, as Matthew said, what did I expect? You'd probably get more responses if you spoke to a wall. I cannot believe this is why I got cut off during my MSN conversations (with people who initiated them with me, I might add :) ) and Gunbound games. For you to get online and get ignored by people on MSN. Puh leeze. You are so so pathetic. Fuck off to hell, rot in there and die. That is, if hell will take you, which I highly doubt is the case here.

Oh yeah, good luck to all those taking Geography 1 and Biology tomorrow! And thanks to Cunzheng* too, for Bluetoothing Breakaway, Fly and Shadow to my phone.

2004-11-05T21:10:00.000+08:00

It's been one hell of a week. We've been having exams day in day out since Monday, and we're finally off for the weekend! But there's still E Maths 2 on Monday though. It's glad to know there are about at least 50000 people out there who're suffering the same fate as I am. My A Maths 1 was a complete and total disaster today. Who knew graphs had symmetry? I thought graphs were just graphs. They're meaningless, time-consuming and basically like all maths, soul-draining. So, anyway, I ended up writing "it has a rotational order of symmetry 2". Whatever. I don't care about it, and there's still A Maths 2. Hope still lives. Not so much for Lit, though. It was a disaster. I completely screwed up Paper 1. Thou should have payest attention to the bald one in class.

I cannot believe that that idiot from our school actually took down the names of all those whose NRICs and Student Passes were confiscated and sent them along with the examination scripts on Friday. All along we were poking fun and finding fault with the outside invigilators, but it turns out someone from our school gets the students into trouble. I don't know the idiot's name, but whoever he is, he sucks. In case you don't know who I'm talking about, I'm talking about the person who isn't Mr Yong but who's from our school too. He looks malnutritioned and he wears the most boring clothes ever.Okay, actually, most of the invigilators look like that so that description doesn't help but yeah, it's the best I can come up with. It's not my fault he's so plain there's nothing the least bit distinguishing about him I can use to identify him with.

And our Chief Examiner is slowly becoming the new Phil Keoghan. If I have to hear him mention one more time that 'it is [his] duty to remind us that we are not allowed to bring any unauthorized electronic devices into the hall', I'm going to haul off and smack somebody. WE GOT YOU THE FIRST TIME. Yes, Phil, this applies to you as well. I know the definitions of "Detour" and "Fast Forward" better than I know my Chinese verbs. Actually, I don't know my Chinese verbs very well so that doesn't really make a point. Who knew the Xuan in Han Xuan had an extra stroke inside it? Who cares?

And even worse, Bush won the election. I don't know how, I don't know why, but he did, by a huge margin apparently. I thought some time back, practically everyone was condemning his administration and his policies and look what happened. Bush still won. This is what happens when people aren't motivated enough to vote. It happened on American Idol too. Elsewhere, the flora and fauna of the world are celebrating the dominance of one of their kind over humans.

Moving on, taxi drivers have officially jumped the shark. Let me relate to you what on Earth happened: Liyanah was getting ready to take a taxi to school on account of she was late. She's always late. The world could end at ten in a giant fireball and Liyanah* would still be getting ready at eleven-thirty. So anyway, the taxi stopped some distance from her and she walked over to check out what was going on and to see if the taxi had stopped for her. She had barely opened the door and started to ask when the driver hollered at her that she had a low IQ and that couldn't she see that he was stopping for another person opposite, and Liyanah stupidly just stood there and allowed him to berate her and still patronized him by getting into the taxi. The poor girl cried when she got to school because she was just so upset and mad at him but she couldn't say anything.

You just don't go around insulting people like that, especially not when they're paying you for your service. If yelling is your thing, you really oughta be a karung guni, pal. He didn't even bother to find out anything before he let her have it. Just in case this sounds hypocritical, it's different for me and for him. I'm bitching on a blog, a personal space. How can you be rude to Liyanah? No one can be rude to Liyanah, except for me. That's like disrespect for Mother Teresa. It just doesn't happen. Not that I'd disrespect Mother Teresa, but she's dead anyway, so yeah. I wouldn't disrespect the dead either. May they rest in peace. Not to mention the irony of a taxi driver telling a student her IQ is low. But anyway, he's not gonna get away with it. I lodged a complaint to the taxi company on behalf of Liyanah and I'm planning to write into the Straits Times about this. Whoever he is, he's not getting away scot-free.

I can't help thinking that 'veteran' on Channel 5 stands for 'used up, unwanted and disposed actor or actress past his/her prime'. Think about it. When was the last time you saw Choo Mi Mi in something big? She's apparently denigrated herself to the level that she has to act in "Like My Own" to get on TV. She can't even speak English properly. Actually, come to think of it, this applies for Lydia Sum as well. Add to the above list of qualities 'overweight' too. It's an absolute outrage that "Living With Lydia" has been allowed back on TV. I was watching Singapore Idol's results show yesterday night and they usually have this segment where they allow stars of other Channel 5 shows to come on and pimp their own shows and the entire cast of "Living With Lydia" turned up yesterday. When asked what the audience could expect this season, Lydia promptly replied "You can expect me to dress up as a getai singer!". I'm not big on Hongkong TV but even I know enough about it to realise Lydia's at least dressed up once as a getai singer. And according to her, she's "going to be a ghost too! Ooooooh!" You know, because, all ghosts say "Oooooh!" to everyone they meet. Personally, I think Lydia Sum would look scarier naked than dressing up as a ghost but that's just me.

Guess who I ran into Mac's that day? Sau Chung Ying- my mortal enemy from Smartlab. I had no idea whales could swim so far inland. But anyway, it should have been quite expected. Where else would she be? A gym? Fortunately she wasn't with Jessica or Yan Ling or whatever that bitch's name is because I can only handle one fat ugly bitchy Mayflower girl per day, and I rolled my eyes at her. This promptly triggered a staring incident in which she and her equally bitchy and ugly friends kept looking at us while we continued to eat. This is the difference betwen Mayflower and Anderson. We have class and they don't. They kept hoping we'd say something to them and cause a fight. What a bunch of assholes. We just shrugged them off with nonchalant indifference and did our thing. We're not such losers that we go around neighborhood fast food eateries hoping to start a fight. Talk about throwing your weight around.

I love Joi Chua's voice. It is so beautiful, so ethereal, so crystal clear and lacks the incessant mumbling, grunting, moaning, whispering and weeping common among modern day teenybopper voices. "Pei Wo Kan Ri Chu" is such a beautiful song tinged with bittersweet melancholy. I just love it. Another talented singer is Fish Leong, whose new album is superb. She's got a bit of edge (Yan Wei Die), a bit of anguish (Jie Shou) and a bit of breeziness (Ning Xia) but a whole lot of talent. I can never get sick of "Yong Qi" or "Ting Bu Dao". And yes, Jay Chou's talent in songwriting is admittedly outstanding too, shut up.

There's something else I wanted to say about someone. Oh yes, you. You're always right, aren't you? Not even our parents are in the right when they argue with you. Whenever you're against someone, that person is in the wrong. That person is immature, petulant and unreasonable and you're right. This rule applies to you everywhere. Whenever someone makes a valid point and points out your utter childishness and lack of maturity, all you can do is fend them off by saying 'that's not the point'. Either that or you continue displaying the abovementioned qualities by saying 'that's too bad'.

It would be alright if you just admitted that you are immature and process thoughts like a 5 year old, but you just won't. You pretend you have principles and morals and that you're oh-so-upright. But you're not. You're just a sanctimonious sophist who's good at talking crap and making the lives of others a misery. You make yourself out to be this person who's being oppressed by his family in front of your friends and you portray us as tyrants ruining your life. Well, guess what? Sama sama! Everyone dreads it when you come home from camp. With you in our house, there's always conflict and fighting. We'd much rather the three of us by ourselves. Just as much as you hate us and detest us, we hate you and detest you. I can't speak for Mom or Dad but I certainly do feel this way. Anthrax is too good for you. Death is too good for you.

Kindly stop treating me nicely when you feel like it and being a jerk when you want to. Maybe if you'd just spare a thought for someone other than yourself and stop obsessing over Survivor, The Apprentice and god knows what half-assed American reality TV show for once, you'd actually come close to resembling a human being. Until then, just fuck off and die. We'd really appreciate it.

2004-10-29T22:13:00.000+08:00

Mom's got a cell phone! This is just about the funniest thing ever, because my mother doesn't get along with technology. The first time she tried using it, she spent about 20 minutes saying into the phone: "Can you hear me?" and "Am I speaking into the right end?" and "Is the volume too loud?". And she took 5 tries to get the hang of picking up calls on a Nokia 8250. Ordinarily, anyone would have no problem with the menial task of pressing a green button but this is my mother, we are talking about. She's astonishing. She can whip up a dinner in 20 minutes and shush even my father but she can't handle stuff like this. If my mother was on Cellular, the kidnapper would nab not only her, but also her immediate and extended family and kill us all. Come to think of it, if my mother was on Cellular, it wouldn't be called Cellular. It would be called Finding Button (you know, like Finding Nemo) and the movie would be about her magical journey into finding the green button on her slightly rusty Nokia 8250 and picking up my father's call after about 2750 attempts on his part.

Speaking of phones, I voted once for Olinda tonight and thank holy heavens that I did, because she was almost eliminated from the competition tonight. I think it's a given that Olinda shouldn't have been there to start with, but as has been proven, Singaporean voters don't exactly vote along the lines of 'talent'. They don't even vote along the line of 'sanity'. However, they did regain a smidgen of it tonight, as Christopher was rightfully booted from the competition after 6 (or 7) agonizing weeks. No, not him, us.

Who's Olinda, you ask? She's a contestant on Singapore Idol. Oh, you don't watch Singapore Idol? No worries, I don't think anyone does.

Anyway, to round it up, Big Band Night felt more like Zebra Crossing Night. Why the hell was everyone in black or white? Does anything about the Big Band genre send out the message that you're supposed to turn up clad in black and white? Leave the funeral clothes at home, people. Seriously, it almost felt like a funeral. Though most would have agreed that the standard of singing at funerals is generally far better than what we heard.

On the bright side of things, Big Band Night was possibly the best night in the series so far. Christopher delivered an okay version of "I've Got You Under My Skin". It wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible either. In fact, I felt really sorry for him when the judges put him down that badly during the show because compared to the horrors we've seen from Chris on the Disco and Rock 'N' Roll nights, this was actually quite good. But sadly, Olinda came out right after Christopher and crushed him flat (take it whichever way you want I meant in terms of performances, but there's no doubting Oli could crush him literally too. She ain't no lightweight) with a sultry rendition of "Fever". She was glamorous, sexy and smooth in her delivery and it was one of her best since Parents' Choice Night when she absolutely blew "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" out of the water.

Taufik's "Moon Dance" was a epigone of Micheal Buble, but hey, at least he hit the right notes, and that puts him in the top tier already. He definitely needs more originality but there's no doubting he's one of the better singers around and he's a definite crowd favorite. I think he'll win the competition, so more power to him. Daphne's rendition of "Orange Colored Sky" was uninspired, breathy, dull and flat. What more can I say? It was a totally fun song and it got ruined by her. Katie Weber from AI3 did a much better job and she didn't even make the Final 12. Sad.Grim.Pathetic. Her singing is enough reason to warrant the starting of a SPCIS (Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Innocent Songs).

LeAndra was mediocre, once again but she coasted by this week again. Be warned, though. Her days are numbered in the competition. She's been hitting the Bottom 3 quite frequently and her edges are getting frayed. Not to mention, she killed a goose and wore it around her neck and threw it on the floor at the end of her performance. The poor thing lay there, unmoving and dead among all of Gurmit Singh's decaying, rotting and utterly stupid jokes. Something's wrong with the world when no one has any respect for Mother Nature anymore. Sylvester Sim sang "The Way You Look Tonight" like a Zhong Guo Ren, ("Wif [a good measure of SMS language, to reach out to the masses as well] each wold, ur tangderness glows, telling my frears apart") and it sounded that way to me but I'm sure he'll make the Final 2. His fans and Taufik's fans were having a screaming match during the entire course of the Results Show. Shut up, already.

A lot of things have happened, recently and I recently had an epiphany on things. I realised who my true friends really are: who'd stick with me through thick or thin and who'd desert me at the drop of a hat. Thanks to those who have helped me through this tough time, it really means a lot to me. And to those who didn't, well, whatever. I seriously don't care anymore about anything. Do what you like, it's of little concern to me, because it don't matter to me no more. And this is the last time I'm going to waste good energy, time and space writing anything about you. In my eyes, you are scum and nothing's ever going to change it.

2004-10-22T22:03:00.000+08:00

Maia's been eliminated from Singapore Idol. Of course, this piece of news is completely irrelevant because there are about only 2 people out there who actually care and 10 people who even bother to watch Singapore Idol, and no, I'm not talking about the other 3 who tuned in for 0.17 seconds during the commercials. At any rate, she's gone. And she was unfortunately eliminated after one of her best nights. Her version of Objection (Tango) was at worst palatable, and she performed it with enough attitude and sass to do Shakira proud. Where the hell is Shakira, by the way? The last I heard of her, she was dating some Argentinian politician and getting huge flak from press and public alike for it. Someone might have gunned her down and no one would know or care.

Sylvester sucked yesterday night. I personally have nothing against the dude and if he's good, I'll say so (his version of He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother was rather good) but yesterday's performance of I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing was lacklustre. Granted it's quite an easy song and it's been way overperformed and overplayed, the only way to make it sound good is to infuse it with a lot of emotion and power, and Sylvester has none of the both. That scream that he threw into the song, the one that Douglas Oliveiro referred to as "chicken feet, lah"? I'm afraid Douglas missed the point. It wasn't chicken feet, but it did sound rather reminiscent of a chicken being slaughtered..

Olinda was good, as usual, though girlfriend needs to get a new dress. Black is slimming, but sleeveless is not the way to go, especially when you've got arms the size of baseball bats. Just some fashion advice. LeAndra did poorly. She was slicing off all her notes and not seguing them into each other the way Selena did in the original version. Christopher? (I will not type his nickname on my blog and I will slice off the arms of anyone who wants me to do so, the way LeAndra sliced her notes, so you know I'm not kidding about this) Was actually on par with Sylvester and LeAndra, if not better! But that not-so-pathetic performance, I fear, was his very best. He can't do any better than that. Taufik was actually quite good, but considering I've never heard Usher's version of Yeah, I'm not in the best position to pass any judgement on his performance.

Poor Christina Aguilera. When I heard Daphne Khoo sing I Turn To You, it almost made me wish that the song never existed. I remember Douglas once mentioned that Daphne likes to give songs the "Daphne treatment", and I now know exactly what he means. By the "Daphne treatment", he means "a treatment in which one mutilates, kicks, punches, disembowesl, scars, injures, murders, disfigures, removes every in-tune note and utterly destroys the song". By the time she was finished with it, the song was lying on the ground, bleeding to its death, and so were my eardrums. Bitch, don't take on a fucking belting song if you can't fucking belt. It was a good thing she didn't try to tackle The Voice Within or Beautiful, else I would have had to go down to Mediacorp and kick her smarmy little transvestite ass all by myself.

Florence Lian should have cut all her hair, regardless of whether Olinda got through or not. That poodle sitting on her head during the show was not at all flattering. It's no wonder she's in radio; it's becoming rather apparent she's a disaster to behold.

Nothing much has been going on in my life, except for the fact that I think I messed up my 'O' Level Chemistry Practical I really hope I can scrape through with my Qualitative Analysis and Titration because all my calculations and experiment-designing were wrong. Ah well, I'll just have to work harder for the theory. And the exams are starting in about 10 to 20 days and I haven't finished my revision yet. Well, whatever. I seriously can't be bothered to get involved in bullshit which involves opening books; they depress me to no end.

Everyone's been discussing which Junior College to go to, and it seems the popular choices are Nanyang and National Junior College in our school. Though I'd strongly advise going to National Junior Collegel, because not only is Edwin Wong and the Macho Men from 4/5 going there, so is half of 4/6. So unless you want to spend your JC life with those people, I'd advise looking at other options, like SAJC, or AJC, or HCJC, or RJC, or TJC ,or VJC, or jumping off a building or getting hit by a train or migrating to Nicaragua. All of the above options are more appealing than spending even a second around those idiots. Me, I haven't exactly decided yet, but this here's an early warning to HCJC: incoming Ling Hui! All students are advised to evacuate the school compounds immediately while the staff discuss the possibility of a relocation to a deserted village in Laos.

Matthew downloaded Top Secret! I went to his house to watch it the other day (actually, I believe we planned to do 'revision' but there was a mixup in the schedule somewhere along the line and we didn't bother to correct that minor discrepancy). I totally looovveeee it. And Vanessa, I'm gonna burn two copies, so one for you eh. For all those who haven't watched it yet, I suggest you get your hands on this show, by hook or by crook because it's FUCKING FUNNY. You might want to put your foot on it because apparently, Singapore is intending to come down hard on the downloaders starting from next year. They're going to haul your ass off to the clink for downloading, be it mp3s or porn or funny ass movies, and chances are they're going to have to reclaim land to build a new prison. It could be the new community centre. People from all walks of life, and all ages and races would convene to take a break at prison. Hell, I'd download and get trucked off to prison just to get away from the 'O' Levels.

I've done everything I can. I've admitted the stuff I said and I've apologized to you. A thousand 'sorry's cannot make it up to you, I know, but I just want you to know I'm racked with guilt and remorse for what I've done and I'm sorry about it. If you cannot forgive me, I understand. I have no trouble at expressing myself and laying out the situation but for the first time in my life, I'm at a loss at what to do or say. All I can do is hope everything will get better.

2004-10-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry. The only thing I can say now is sorry. I know what I did was completely unforgivable and nothing can be said or done about it, but I truly am sorry about everything. You might think of me as heartless and manipulative and devious or whatever but I'm really sorry about the whole affair.

This message goes out to all the people involved in the mess I've single-handedly made out of everything.

2004-10-15T21:04:00.000+08:00

Well, it has happened. And I'm not dead. Because I got 20 and I can go to a JC! Not a very good one, but at least I made a tremendous improvement from my original L1R5 of 30 in the Preps.

Anyway, I'll be leaving Anderson soon. All of the Sec 4s will. In the 4 years I've spent in Anderson, I've met a lot of interesting people and matured a lot (though many would agree I still have a long way to go in that area). All of the memories I have in Anderson, I will carry always with me, good or bad. Secondary School, just like Primary School, is a necessary path in life before we progress forward.

Do I regret becoming a complete bitch? In some ways, yeah, I guess. But it's at least a step up from the meek and quiet me in Primary School who compromised and compromised non-stop.

I was really planning on making a stupid lengthy bitchy post about how some people sucked and how they were total hypocrites, bastards, bitches, backstabbers, double crossers but hey, isn't everybody? So I'm going to focus on the positive and just let all the love flow.

Firstly, I will sorely miss some of the teachers in Anderson, like Madam Hasniza*, Mr Yu*, Mrs Huhyn*, Mr Yong*, Mrs Lee Sean Ling* and Mr Kwok* because they are the last vestige of hope Anderson has. All of them are dedicated and great in their own way. Madam Has because she's compassionate and loving. She's taken a lot of shit as the form teacher of 4/3 and she has never yielded or thrown in the towel, or stopped protecting and caring for us as if we were her children. I love you Madam Has! Mr Yu because he has sympathy for our class, and because he's just such a great guy and his jokes are funny sometimes. C for ... Seahorse! Mrs Lee because she's always so generous and lovely to every single person she meets. She truly cares for each and everyone of her students and a lot of teachers could learn from her. She's one of the very few good things about 2/5. Mr Kwok for being the voice of reason, siding no one but those in the right and for his English lessons (which I admittedly always looked forward to). Mr Yong for kicking more aSS (anyone get it? anyone?) than Mr Neo has ever done. And Mrs Huhyn for joining in our campaign against the school! I'll miss all of them lots and lots lahh.

I'm going to give myself a break. I deserve one. I've been typing in perfect English for god knows how long and if I lapse into Singlish in this post, I deserve it.

And then there are the people. All of the below mentioned have made a positive impact in my life, in some way or other and they are the reason why life in Anderson was somewhat bearable for me.

Huey Sun*: HS ar HS! We've known each other for like, what, 1.5 years? Yet, I feel closer to you than to most of my ex classmates from ex 2/5. Sure, you have your mood swings, but no one's perfect, right? I'm half-Malaysian. You've come a long long way and your grades have leap-frogged from average to brilliant. I'm crossing my fingers that you can get into NJ. You can do it de la! Will miss bitching around with you on MSN and waving to you in the hallways. Good luck for the Os, though you'll do well, luck or not. Even though we've had some fights here and there, our friendship has come out on top. Thank you for sticking it out with me!

Liyanah*: We can never agree on anything, but I guess that's what makes up most of our friendship. You just have to go against everything I stand for, don't you? But the fact that we haven't murdered each other (yet) shows something. Erm, we've kinda drifted apart in the 2 years, but nevertheless, we've managed to remain relatively close, drifting in and out of each other's lives. Thank you for always being a solid and reliable friend.

Ivan*: Ivan, though you don't really hang with us anymore these days, our friendship still remains, because we're both charmed people. (pun pun pun!) I hope we're having our Charmed Marathon at the end of this year; I'm really really looking forward to it. Your zest for life and your enthusiasm is, how shall I say it, charming. (pun again!!) And don't be qi lei by your Prelim results, eh? You've got one more chance to catch up and prove yourself, and I'm sure you'll be able to pull it off. You always do at the end.

Jie Ying*: Since you never fail to remind me about it, I'll start by thanking you for teaching me how to use a compass. I'm be eternally grateful, not to mention indebted to you for it. We've known each other for what, 6 to 7 years already? I'm glad to have come to Anderson, or else I'd have never seen the fun and lovely girl that was hiding under the snappy and grumpy exterior back in KCPPS. Even though we're not that close anymore, I'll always look back fondly on the times in 2/5 (except for those 6 months when we quarrelled >.>) when we were and be thankful.

Karen*: My fellow pun rocker, Karen. If you ever ever go back to Hongkong, Singapore won't know what it's lost till it's gone. Your wacky behavior and amazing wordplays and puns will always be etched in my mind, because you're... always on my mind! Seriously, you've been a great friend, always supportive and willing to adopt me when I've no one to go to (which is most of the time) and you, like me, have great taste in music! (=X). I'll really miss you if I go to another class and there's no one making weird noises, or whistling or punning the teacher's comments in one corner of the class. Jiayou for your Os and we have to keep in kontact, okay? =D

Yi Jun*: Yi Jun aka Frizzy! That's what I used to call you until we got to know each other. Ehh, you called me Freddy Frog too, so we're even k! And how lucky I am to have gotten to know you. Haha, you've been great, always a solid ally in my campaign against Anderson. You're really a damn nice person, forever willing to forgive people, no matter how much they've wronged you, but watch those occasional flashes of cynicism. No one's allowed to be bitter and jaded except for me. =x You've got so much going for you. Will miss you a lot when we leave.

Mei Kuan*: Even though you won't see this due to your unfortunate lack of a computer, I still feel the need to include you, because you're great fun and a superb friend. I will miss those tuition sessions with you and Huey Sun where we sat in front of the class and bitched about that horrible Duck. I love going to recess with you and Yi Jun and everyone else because we always have something to debate and bitch about and discuss. Oh yeah, and thanks for introducing me to some fabulous writers. If not for you, I'd never have gotten to know about Sophie Kinsella or Janet Evanovich. Thank you!

Syaf*: My dear Spastik Syaf! I can remember in Sec1 when we got to know each other and you were amused to no end by my imitation of Mrs Grant. Since then, we've always been good friends because of choir and other stuff. And we've become closer upon getting into 3/3 and 4/3 together. I was really delighted when I found out you were going to 4/3. I'll miss everything about you when we part, be it your beautiful artwork, your penchant for breaking rules, your humour and your loyalty. Thank you for everything and for being such a great friend. And remain spastik and keep on breaking rules, yah? :)

Nadia*: Nadia, my fellow cynic and Syaf's fellow rule-breaker. The two of you are always tearing down signs or vandalizing public property when we go out together. I'll always remember you because we had so much fun sniping and bitching about people we didn't like, as well as sharing gossip about everything we know. You're great fun to talk to because you're incredibly witty and sarcastic. I know you're probably rolling your eyes at all this cheesiness, but I love youuuu! loll. Will miss you dearly when we leave for JC. Keep in touch and take care~

and last but not least....

Matthew*: Even though we went into different classes, we became closer than ever in the past 2 years. Or so I like to think. I can always count on you to pull me back when I'm going too far. You've always been the pillar of reason and most of the time, you're right about everything. And you're smart lehh, don't deny it! 13 is a damn ass good score and I believe you're going to get A1 in the Os for English, so don't lose heart. I will miss our gossiping sessions on the phone, and our private jokes about Koon Xuan and Power Hungry and Muthafucka! Muthafucka! and other assorted maniacs we've met, as well as your amazing intuition and powers of deduction. Thank you for always being there for me and never losing patience with me.

Then there's my class 4/3. We seriously rock and I'll miss each and every single person so much when it's time to go. Well, not really. I won't miss Bernice, Melissa or Kenneth but there are exceptions in everything. But on the whole, I'll miss most of my class. Karen's puns, Nani's comments, Xinlun's indifference, Allan's stupid cracks, Sulastri's politicial disposition, I'll miss everyone to bits. Love ya all!

There're so many more names I want to mention, but since this is starting to turn out like Halle Berry's bawlfest at the Oscars, I'll just name a few more. Haryati, Pei Rong, Kiat Kay, Nani, Zuhara, Vanessa Kong, Jenrine, Xinling, Zakiah, Lita, Siew Peng, Jing Pey, Peizhi, Ying Xuan, Sharon, Yawen, Hidayat, Jin Yong, Yuen Yin, (Lee) Hui Xian, Aileen Lydia, Siew Han, Aileen Seet, Terry, Choon Heng, Yu Kai, Yin Mun, Xiao Ling, Shu Ying, Chin Ping, Sangita, Phyllis, Loo Win and many many more. Good luck to all of you and God Bless.

Take care everyone!

2004-10-12T13:34:00.000+08:00

I'm in the school lab right now, and as is Anderson's usual wont, the school comps are malfunctioning yet again. We've been in the lab for about 40 minutes so far, and we still haven't gotten the comps to work. No wonder we had to reserve 75 minutes for the session: 60 minutes is spent on getting into the system. And just for the record? I spent 12 minutes waiting for the Blogger template to load. Jin Yong is currently doing his CME test for the third time, because his comp crashed twice. My goodness, I'm suddenly starting to have a new appreciation for my glow-in-the-dark monitor and the routine hourly explorer crash on my PC back home.

Not that I'm getting much of it nowadays. I stupidly made a promise to my parents that they could take the keyboard and mouse away from me until Friday. And I'm starting to get withdrawal symptoms. I've been shivering and sneezing away since yesterday, but I guess that could be due to the air-conditioner in 4/3, which is absolutely polar. Yes, people at the back of the classroom, this is a message to you: TURN DOWN THE AIR-CON. I'm dying of hypothermia half the time in front during class. I mean, for some of you, it's obviously not that bad because you live in Antarctica and everything, but for the benefit of me (as well as mankind in general), please turn down the air-con.

[time loop of 1 day, I'm back in the school library right now, typing this when I'm supposed to be at Chem lesson. Weather: sunny, Time: 12:30 PM, Day: 13.10.04, Mood: okay, Computer: sucky. I practically have to lean my entire weight on the space button to get it to work]

There's been something nagging at me and after purchasing 8 Days this morning, I realised what it was. Joanne Peh sucks. Usually I don't hate Mediacorp artistes, because they're all so bland and boring. I don't even know half their names. I wouldn't be able to tell Felicia Chin from a double chin, but seriously, Joanne Peh needs to stick her head down a toilet and have me pull the flush on her. Before I proceed to bash the living shit out of Joanne Peh, I just have to mention that I spent 2 minutes staring at the word Mediacorp, trying to make up a pun with the word 'mediocre' but I just gave up. If you've got one, hit me with it on the doodle-board.

Just in case you have no idea who the hell is Joanne Peh, she's that snot who's on the Singtel commercials promoting the use of polyphonic ringtones. The one with the short hair and annoying little smirk that makes you want to haul off and bitchslap her. And I cannot stand the fact that people are calling her the "It-Girl". It-Girl? Not only do I have a huge problem with the word itself (a pun! a pun! Now I don't feel like a total loser for not being able to pun 'Mediacorp' with 'Mediocre'), it's just wrong to call Joanne Peh our It-Girl. I'll agree that she should be referred to as an "it", but that's as far as it goes.

Michelle Chia is the It-Girl. Jeanette Aw is the It-Girl. Even Michelle Saram is more qualified to be the It-Girl than Joanne Peh, dammit.

Why do I have a problem with Joanne Peh? For the first thing, it's her surname. I don't care if it's not her fault and that I'm single-handedly antagonizing all the Pehs across the nation with such blatant surname-discrimination. Why does she have the surname "Peh"? Why can't she have a nice ordinary surname like "Lee" or "Tan"? The only good thing about her surname is that I can come up with the following couplet (or a rhymlet, or a stanza, or whatever the hell you call it. You're looking at someone who scored B4 for Lit):

An actress I hate is Joanne Peh

Her acting and looks are totally meh

That was crap. Ah well, can't expect much from a B4 Lit student, can you?

Anyway. Back to what I was saying. Secondly, she's a media whore. How bad a media whore is she? On a scale from 1 (people who walk around Junction 8 in the hopes they'll be stopped by the CNA crew for an interview: no kidding, there are people who do that) to 10 (Paris Hilton, William Hung and Tan Wai Lan), Joanne is a 257. She's absolutely desperate to get on camera. Did you know that she joined Miss Universe 2003, Star Search as well as the New Face 2003? All this in a bid just to get on camera and on TV. Other people get a crack addiction, or they get hooked on online gaming. Bitch here gets hooked on media attention. And not only that, she's forever trying to snatch attention from her co-hosts in variety shows by pontong jalan-ing all their lines so that she, she and she gets to hog the limelight. I don't watch Mediacorp-produced shows a lot but I watch enough of it to know that. Down with Joanne Peh. She's the next Ho Yeow Sun.

2004-10-09T21:12:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching The Dragon Sabre and The Heavenly Sword on Channel 8. Quite an interesting show actually, but way too much morals, rules and values. I think if I had existed in those times, my head'd have been rolling before I had the chance to say "fuck authority". Seriously. You can't talk back to your teacher. You can't disrespect your seniors. Every tiny thing that you say can be taken and blown ridiculously out of your proportion. Oh, and from what I remember of Return Of The Condor Heroes, you can't fall in love with your teacher too. Marian wouldn't stand a chance either. But it was overall quite OK. Blue Contacts surfaced out of nowhere and dealt Zhou Zhiruo a fatal blow, and her appearance amused me to no end. It's always damn funny because she's forever being heralded by a giant Chinese Orchestra. If I'm not wrong, her surname is Yang and she mentioned the Ancient Tomb Sect in her speech so she's most probably Yang Guo and Dragon Girl's daughter. Anyone who is more knowledgable in Chinese novels is welcome to correct me on the Doodleboard, provided you can get it to work, which to my understanding is a task near impossible.

Then before that was Graduation Ball in the afternoon, which was really more of a $3.50 event than $35. I got up at 8 in the morning, got ready and headed down to Liyanah's house with Aileen, Choon Heng, Chuan Jian, Terry, Jasmine and Mei Kuan. Everyone had a ball of a time preparing for the ball (you've been punn'ed) and we just rushed about everywhere, getting clothes on, giving opinions and doing last minute alterations to our original outfits. Then Ivan joined us later on and we all headed off downtown to the Hilton Hotel at Orchard. Initially we thought we were running really late because we left Ang Mo Kio at about 1145 AM but it turned out we were actually quite early when we arrived. You can take the latecomer out of Anderson but you can't take Anderson out of the latecomer. The ball, stated to start at 1200 PM, ended up beginning at about 1240 PM and even then, there were still people trickling in afterwards.

The ball itself was just a big yawn. We had lunch, listened to three speeches, watched a Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring trailer (don't ask), played some terrible games, had a lucky draw and took a lot of photos. I had a more exciting time in the cab ride down than at the ball. Nani and Haryati got creative by da paoing all the chicken wings and food and hiding it under the table in a plastic bag.

Then there were the people. On a whole, everyone looked extremely good. Clarissa, Carrie, Amanda and Cynthia looked fabulous. They weren't overly dressed and they pulled their outfits with great aplomb, and wouldn't have looked out of place at a model shoot. And lucky me got to take a photo with them! Yayyy! Huey Sun was an absolute knockout. I hardly believed my eyes when she entered the room. who knew she'd have looked that good in a dress? And I got to take a photo with her too! Ying Ying, Jenrine, Yuen Yin, Huixian, Chia Ing and Audrey all looked damn good too. I took photos with them all, so yay me. Mei Kuan looked terrific too, as did Yuan Ru, Lita, Sihui, Yawen, Faiezah, Jingting, Siew Han and basically just about everyone else. I can't name them all.

Then there was the bad. Ling Hui looked like the preview trailer of Exorcist: The Beginning with a ridiculously overdone hairdo, horrendous caked on makeup and a slimy green dress. What a holy nightmare. And she didn't look even the least bit ashamed in her outfit. That girl seriously gives me the creeps. Wan Teng looked like someone ran a rake through her hair, and Hui Hian looked like she was attending a Heroes Meet. Basically, the entire Miasma was just a fashion nightmare through and through.

I don't even want to talk about Singapore Idol because the show is just a complete joke now, with David and Jeassea gone. Jerry can win for all I care.

*Edit: Oh yeah, some awards!

For Prom Queen, my choices would be Huey Sun, Si Hui, Lita or Chia Ing. All of them looked damn gorgeous in their dresses.

For Prom King, I think it would be any single member of Antarctica (with the exception of Guan Long and Jin Yong because one didn't attend, while I just don't like the other) because they were absolute knockouts as well. You don't have to wear a flashy suit or expensive thousand dollar clothes to look good. This is a message a lot of people would do good to remember.

Prom Convict (aka Worst Dressed) would have to go to Ling Hui. Obviously.

Worst Accessorizing would go to Martin from 4/6. Who the hell carries a school bag to a graduation ball?

Best Accessorizing goes to Syaffie! For her fabulous bowtie. She looked so funky and hip. =D

2004-10-07T21:46:00.000+08:00

I had quite a good day today. For one thing, we finished filming the Graduation Ball video! Whoo! It's really damn funny and cool. Had so much fun with everyone else doing that today. "Go play yourself la!" "Ahh, go play yourself laaa!" LOLL. I really hope it's going to be approved and screened during the Graduation Ball because I think our class is gonna loveeee it.

My resolve to be a better person from yesterday lasted for all of two seconds when I went for flag-raising today and Mrs Tan greeted us with one of her most self-important and silly speeches ever. Hello? The only reason why the Sec 4N people are taking their exams in the Temporary Block is because the school doesn't have enough facilities to house both them and the Sec 3s for the exams. It's the school's fault, not ours. So don't expect us to drop everything and maintain pin-drop silence just for their sake, because it's not gonna happen. And contrary to what the school thinks, not everyone living in the Ang Mo Kio neighborhood around our school is so deprived of entertainment they have to resort to tuning into our morning assemblies. They've got better things to do with their time, like watch their armpit hair grow.

Prom Night's coming soon, on Saturday! Oh, excuse me. I meant Prom Afternoon. Not Prom Night, because apparently, the night is too much for Andersonians to handle. How will we ever find our way home in the shrouded darkness of Orchard Road? Anyway, there's been some talk about Homecoming Queen and Homecoming King, and I'm not going to try to sway any votes but here's a tiny message:

VOTE FOR JULIANA.

Who's trying to sway people's voting trends? Me? Yo ass. Before this, I was actually laughing at the possibility that Ling Hui might win the title of Homecoming Queen but since Jerry Ong has recently outlasted Jeassea Thyidor to stay in Singapore Idol. it's been proven that anything can happen, so I'm not going to be overconfident or anything like that. Vote, vote, vote, people! And I'm fine with anyone winning Homecoming King, as long as they satisfy one very important criteria: not Edwin Wong. But then again, Edwin'd probably be quite happy if he won because he wouldn't be able to see all the people booing him. He can't even see, period.

Benrine just cracks my ass up totally. Total entertainment! As long as they don't suddenly decide to shoot a movie together. Everyone knows how Gigli did at the box office.

Got hold of some interesting news today too! Some people just aren't as good as they think they are la. Heh. :)

2004-10-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

I owe a huge apology to 2 people.

To Person A: I'm sorry for everything. For leaking out secrets, for backstabbing you and for everything I've done these past few months. I've been a horrible friend to you, especially recently and I promise you I will do everything I can to make it up and restore our friendship to what it was originally.

To Person B: I'm sorry for coming in between you and Person A by trying to sow discord. I assure you that it was done in a fit of anger and I'm sorry to you too.

Basically, I'm sorry. That's the message in this post, if you couldn't tell.

But anyway, it's all going to change. I'm going to change. I'm going to wish joy to the world when I wake up tomorrow morning. I will stop thinking hateful thoughts. I will stop plotting and scheming. I will be a better person. And you know why? Because these two people matter so much to me I'm willing to make myself a better person for them. ((:

Night.

2004-10-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

Oh man, life really sucks nowadays. I thought we could kick back and enjoy life after the prelims but once we got back to school, it was 'O Levels next month!' all over the place. This is shit. Living in Singapore is shit. And Mr Neo? Is utter bullshit. Jenrine's argument was weak, eh? What about yours? Insulting our class= good argument? What an asshole.

And 4/5, thanks for stealing our MTV idea for the Grad Ball video, because it spurred us onto explore a better and more creative alternative for it. Three cheers for plagiary! Don't you feel proud of yourselves? When lacking in creativity, always scout about for things to copy from.

I can't wait to start filming our Grad Ball video. It's gonna rock. At least we brainstormed fun stuff during Social Studies lesson today instead of wasting our time completely.

I think Hilary Duff has a new album out. I'm gonna check on it now. Crappy teenyboppers rule! And so does F.I.R.. Whoo F.I.R.! They beat Jerry Yan's Yi Gong Chi and Jay's Zhi Zhan Zhi Shang to clinch first place with Wo Men De Ai. And Wo Yao Fei rocks too. ((: I loveeee F.I.R.

2004-09-30T21:36:00.000+08:00

Ok, I'll start with my day yesterday. I did OK for Lit, I guess, but that's what I thought when I did the test previously and ended up getting a C- on it., so I'm not going to go out on a limb and say that I'll pass when I'll probably end up getting 45. I wrote insufficient material for the text-based passage questions. I mean, what can you say other than the fact that love is irrational? I seriously had no idea what to write about.

Then I was intending on going home until Ying Ying*, Huixian*, Jenrine*, Huey Sun* and Yuen Yin* called me and asked me to wait for them at the MRT station and we all headed down to Orchard together. There were a shitload of Andersonians in Orchard, and I mean 'shitload' in every sense of the word because we ran into our dear friends The Miasma there and Jingying was trying on a miniskirt in Top Shop. She had this horrendous hairstyle which made her look like a poodle caught in the rain and I cringed when I saw her holding up the green revealing top and the miniskirt. The only expression I could come up with to adequately describe that moment was Scooby Doo meets America's Next Top Model. Thankfully Ling Hui wasn't trying on outfits. I hear it's a bitch getting vomit off wooden floors.

We then went off to Far East plaza and ran into much more pleasant company in the form of Chuan Jian*, Terry*, Choon Heng* and Yi Jun*. They were all looking for outfits for the Grad Ball too and we talked for a while before going off on our own again. Jenrine was being damn funny, because some child called Becky had gotten lost and she kept pretending she was looking for Becky. And she'd start calling out to random kids "Becky! Becky! Where's my darling Becky!" LOLL. Not to mention that she and Huixian were abusing each other throughout the entire course of the trip. We bought Ying Ying's (belated) birthday present: a very nice looking purple crystal bracelet, on top of visiting a thousand shoe shops hunting for the perfect shoes. Mostly I just sat down a lot. Shopping is exhausting shit; women should really be given more credit for it. Oh, and the five of them advised me to buy this denim-yet-not-denim shirt from a shop in The Heeren called Thunderbird. I trust their fashion advice so I did.

Hilary Duff and F.I.R. both have new singles out, respectively "Fly" and "Wo Yao Fei", which weirdly enough are both about flying. I love Hilary and F.I.R.. They rock. Go download!

Happy Sweet 16teen Jie Ying*! Thanks for teaching me how to use the compass and for everything else you've done. You've been a great friend in the 19.5 [ ;) ] years I've known you. Even we're not that close anymore, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours and we have to keep in contact when we graduate. God Bless You!

And Goh's Lit notes are freaky. Does anyone else find them freaky? She sounds so horribly enthusiastic about the play in her notes. Almost everything is punctuated with an exclamation mark. I was imagining that nails-across-blackboard voice reciting the notes when I was reading them: maybe that's why I kept putting them down after five minute intervals. No one can study with that voice in their head. It's almost as if Chee Yao* (who can never stop hitting his exclamation mark key) wrote them on her behalf.

Speaking of Chee Yao, I heard some stuff recently and all I have to say is the world's going to hell in a handbasket when a bunch of people can't even go out and enjoy themselves after the examinations without worrying about being trailed, stalked and followed by various annoying pests.

And also, when Jeassea Thyidor, one of the obviously most talented singers from Singapore idol is eliminated from the show. Her performance of "Love Will Lead You Back" was reasonably good, if not stellar and undoubtedly one of the best of the night. What the fuck is wrong with the voting audience? Even if Jerry is Singaporean and Jeassea is not, there's no justifying for voting for the asshole over Jeassea. With Candice, Jeassea and Beverly all gone, the only person I'm left with to support is Olinda Cho, who turned in a credible performance of "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" amidst a sea of mediocrity. And to think that she was the one I detested the most initially. Though I sniggered at the part where her mother interviewed that she and Olinda go to the gym together a lot. That sure don't show much. In the golden words of Matthew*, "to where, the gym cafeteria?"

The other performances, with the exception of David Yeo, Muhammad Taufik, Sylvester Sim (who seems to have suddenly come into his own), Olinda Cho and Jeassea Thyidor, were a running joke through the entire evening. Leandra's performance of "Come Together" was absolutely jejune, but even she looked like a star due to following finalist Jerry Ong's frightening rendition of "Leader Of The Band". It's a good thing he's a Christian, because the only thing that's going to help him win this is a miracle from the Lord above. And you thought Whore Yeow Sun was bad enough. Then there was Christopher Lee who with the pipes of Mickey Mouse took on a Josh Groban song. I don't even have to say anything bad about it. Maia was as flat as a pancake on "Lady Marmalade" and it was pretty obvious she got her parents to choose the song on her behalf. Daphne's "Joy To The World" should only be sung when she gets eliminated because that's when it'll become reality.

Stick a fork in me cos' I'm done.

2004-09-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

Chemistry was horrible. To think I was dreaming of getting an A for it. I'll be lucky if I even get a D7 this time around. Organic Chemistry is evil. Evil, I tell you. I just randomly drew a few Hs and Cs and Os for the structural formulae of stuff. And Literature was good, even though I didn't finish the paper. The Fielding essay was good to write; I just threw in everything that was written in the Lit notes and improvised slightly when it came to quotes. I didn't exactly read the whole book through at all anyway, so I'm not really all that well versed in it.

And this also indicates the suckage of I'm The King Of The Castle. I love reading storybooks, but I couldn't get past 10 pages of that shit. The whole thing was fucking morbid. And no one got laid. What good is a story if no one gets laid? All the great stories of all time had people getting laid. Look at Romeo and Juliet (I'm quite sure it happened). Look at Titanic (the movie, I know).. Look at Return of the Condor Heroes. Look at ,er, Sleeping Beauty. Well, not exactly, but at least they nearly made it to the bedroom scene, and who knows, there could have been one only they censored it on account of it wouldn't be nice to have kids asking 'Mommy, why is Sleeping Beauty still kissing the Prince after twenty pages?'

Right. Now that I got that off my chest, I'll just blog about my life (or lack thereof). Went to school and took the Chemistry paper, before going off to Burger King with Syaf* and Nadia*. Oh yeah, happy belated birthday to you, Nadia! You want a cake? Bake a damn cake yourself then. I'm too busy to go trawling through Google for images again. Anyway, we talked about stuff and we suddenly realized that in a matter of months, we would be leaving Anderson forever. The only thing's that stopping us from breaking out the bubbly, is of course, the realization that we would also be leaving behind many wonderful and resilient Sec 4 Andersonians who have strived non-stop against the staff, the principal and the other sucky levels to make the school a better place. So watch this space for an upcoming sentimental entry for Things I Will and Will Not Miss When I Leave Anderson. And we also talked about how we've drifted apart from others who we used to be so close to and found new friends. And isn't that what life is about? It's ever-changing. People change, personalities change, relationships wane, new ones are formed. It's a cycle that is ultimately inevitable.

Then I had tuition, which was really boring. I mean, what is there to say about tuition? "Today, I solved a sum that required me to calculate the magnitude of two vectors using the Pythagoras Theorem! Whoopee!" ? Please refer to 4/6 blogs for more scintillating writings like the above. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, no one in 4/6 has a public blog. They're either a) too pathetic to have a blog, b) haven't heard of anything called a 'blog' before, c) have a blog with abusive stuff written about people but it's all locked up on account of the fact that the owner is a fucking coward (I'm not mentioning names but *coughTohLingHuicough*), d) all of the above. Well, you'll just have to cope, won't you? And as appealing as reading about someone's success at balancing a chemical equation may sound, I'll go out on a limb and dare say that you'll be able to live without reading stuff like that.

2004-09-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Here I am.

I'm not stressed. I really am not. As far as I'm concerned, I'm pretty much screwed at this moment and anyway, my L1R5 subjects start next week so I have Saturday and Sunday to study for them. As for A Maths, that was a flop. And I don't even want to talk about Geography Elective or English. I always listen to 'I Believe' before I enter the exam hall. Diana's voice rids me of my nerves and helps me to get a grip. Or 'My Happy Ending'. so I can be reminded of the fact that Avril Lavigne was a high school dropout and look where she is now.

Except I'm not pretty. (Neither am I complicated. Yup, you've been punn'ed) And I can't play guitars. I can sing live, though. Not well but I like to think I'm better than Avril . Has anyone heard her do "Sk8er Boi" live? Let's just say the singing is as good as the spelling of the song. I love Avril, but she's a recording artiste whose place is in the studio.

Ok well, whatever. Who says you have to be able to sing to make it big nowadays? Anyway, I won the Socially Responsible Award! Yes, to the amusement of myself and everyone else, I did. I can't believe it either. I like to think I'm quite alright in terms of social responsibility. I don't do road rage, and I don't spit in public (though I sneeze a lot) and I abhor killer litter most of the time, but not when it's absolutely necessary. And I would shoot Ling Hui in a heartbeat. It speaks a lot about my social responsibility when I'm willing to put myself in jail to exterminate a public hazard.

But the good deed I did to get the award just takes the cake. You see, remember those stupid 1/8 and 1/9 whores I was raving about some time ago? Well, they had another incident at McDonald's a few weeks back. And of course, Whoreania was out in full force, behaving like the lowlifes they were and generally making a public nuisance out of themselves.And the ex 2/3 girls were all there too, and Yuen Yin, ever the upholder of peace and tranquility, kindly shushed them. They promptly asked her to "go shhhh at the toilet". Sec 1s, ever the fount of wit. This remark pissed Yu Ran off (it would have pissed anyone with half a brain off) and he told them off. A shouting match ensued and those 1/8 and 1/9 girls lost. Not a surprise actually, because their repertoire of insults include gems like 'A bitch is better than a bastard'. Take it from someone who has argued with them. And all this took place in the public at AMK Mac. I guess we'd give a shit if Anderson had any reputation to destroy.

The next day, I accompanied the ex 2/3 girls to lodge a complaint against them to Mr. Ang on account of this was the second time we had heard and seen them making a nuisance out of themselves in public. The first clash took place at Pizza Hut and they had a clash with us. Apparently, we were 'staring' at them but nothing happened on account of Victor Joseph was there and he'd probably have cut all their limbs off for the hell of it if they had tried to pull any funny shit. Mr. Ang thought it was me who advised the girls to keep quiet, but it wasn't. It was Yu Ran. But he wasn't present that day so Mr Tok said I would just have to do. I didn't hear any booing when I went up to get the prize. I guess everyone was too busy laughing their heads off to do any of that. Not only did I win the Socially Responsible Award, I also won the Irony Award of 2004.

I had a whole load of things I wanted to talk about but I've forgotten about them so I guess I'll go GB.

*Edit*: Oh guess what? I remembered what I wanted to do. I wanted to make fun of Ling Hui and the Miasma. Hur. I'm in no position to make fun of them at all. At least they're still together after all this time. At least Ling Hui isn't so pathetic no one gives a shit about what happens to her. Whatever.

2004-09-20T22:13:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to Ying Ying*
Happy Birthday to youuuuuu.... ((:

Happy 16th Birthday CYY! You've been a great friend in the short time I've gotten to know you and you're real fun to hang around with, with your lame jokes, spot-on wisecracks, warped views on life, fantastic sense of style and sometimes absent-mindedness. Paiseh for the lousy online cake eh, I can't afford one in real life. =X Good luck in everything you do, and keep in contact after exams!

2004-09-18T17:42:00.000+08:00

I'm back again.

Seriously, if those Iranian/Iraqi/Afghan people who're fleeing from bombs, famine, war and whatnot think they have it bad, they really really ought to switch places with Secondary 4 students in Singapore right now. Juggling 8 (or 9) subjects with the stress of having to at least score 20 or below for L1R5 in Prelims is much worse than having a bomb dropped on you. With the exception of going on a date with Ling Hui, I can't think of anything worse than this. It's like being in Vampire Land. Everyday I go to school, I see a sea of pale and lifeless faces. Usually, you only see that in 4/6, but it's spreading everywhere. Everyone's burying their heads in their books and doing the Ten Year Series. I nearly thought I walked into the wrong class when I went into 4/3 on Monday. This is absolute torment. I just want everything to be over. I don't even care how I fare. Just let it be over.

And while I'm on the topic, I might as well offer Chia Ing* my sincerest condolences here. For some absurd reason beyond anyone's comprehension, they stuck her with an entire table of 4/6 people for the Graduation Ball seating arrangement. I guess the school probably thinks that all the guys from that class need to have a whiff of real estrogen and to know what a proper girl looks like (those freaks wearing pinafores in 4/6 don't count as 'girls', more like 'aliens'), and the 'aliens' could learn a thing or two from Chia Ing regarding grooming. First Lesson In Looking Like A Girl: get your head out of the Physics Textbook and make sure your belt isn't at your chin. Yes, Min Li, this refers to you. And while we're at it, get a good nice push-up bra too. Well, for once, Anderson, good thinking! But as laudable as your attempt to convert those freaks from 4/6 into proper humans is, subjecting poor Chia Ing to such torture is absolutely unnecessary. Send them off to a charm school or something. Or better off, back to the mother ship where they belong.

Right, that felt good. I've jumped on the nerd bandwagon too, by the way. I've been going to Woodlands Library to study a lot recently, and if Matthew* fails his Social Studies, it's all going to be my fault. The poor guy barely wrote two sentences for his notes before I stopped him to ask an A Maths question. This pretty much continued for the three or four hours we were there. Ah well, at least I've cleared up some concepts on it. And for some reason, Ying Ying*, Jenrine*, Huey Sun* and Hui Xian* are all convinced there's a ghost in the second floor Girls' Toilet, and she moans too, which caused me to come up with the pun 'Moaning Myrtle'. Heh. Karen, I'm learning each and every day! Alright, so the rationale is that if there's a ghost, you stay far far away from it, right? Not for those four. They insisted on making several trips to the toilet in giggly pairs and ended up scaring the shit out of themselves.

Ok, what else? Oh yes, Ling Hui won the Best NPCC Female Cadet Award! I guess bootlicking and flirting does get you somewhere in this world after all. Sadly, just like Fantasia (who won American Idol but is disliked by many), a lot of people booed Ling Hui when she went up to get the prize. I kid you not. Usually when someone goes up to get a prize, there's at least some polite lukewarm applause but for Ling Hui it was completely a different can of worms. I provided the backing with a resounding 'EEEEWWWWWWWW' and I swear to you, I heard a lot of people saying "Eee" and "Ew" behind me. Being the best don't mean a thing. Ling Hui and her class prove my point.

Ah, I knew I forgot to say something. Here's a belated Happy Birthday to Yuen Yin* (aka BYY)! Happy Sixteenth Birthday! You're really damn cool, damn straightforward and you never fail to crack my ass up when I talk to you. Keep rocking and good luck in everything you do. I can't believe I forgot this, really. The woman was pretty much announcing to everyone that she was having a birthday. You'd have to be living in a mineshaft not to know. Anyway, happy 16th birthday!

2004-09-14T22:13:00.000+08:00

As Fat Joe and Ashanti once asked in their (very undeserving) #1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100, what's love?

Kelly Clarkson's answer: Love can be a splendid thing, can't deny the joy it brings.

Hilary Duff's answer: Love just is.

Jolin Tsai's answer: Love Love Love (Yes, I know this doesn't make any sense, but neither does most of Chinese Pop, so just put up with it)

Yes, love is wonderful. Something that we will experience when we move ahead in our lives with our soulmate, our partner, the love of our lives. For some, that might be money. For some, that might be a canine animal. For some, that might be nothing. The point is, even at this stage of our lives, most of us do experience love. Love for family, love for friends and love for money.

So hear me out, you bastards.

Love is by no means something that you experience now. If it is, then you're definitely way too old to read my blog. Go wear your dentures and join the Malacca Guided Tour for Octogenarians. There's a difference between puppy love, crushes and pure unadulterated romantic love. Yes, we've all had our crushes and fun as they might be, the message I want to get across here is: MOVE ALONG!

So you like someone. Guess what? That person doesn't like you! Unless you didn't notice, there is absolutely no law in the world, or in Singapore stating "the person XXX likes must only fall in love and have eyes for XXX". If such a law did exist, Tom Cruise would have to call 34241232300992684545 people "honey". Let's not even go to Nicole Kidman. There are many reasons why this person happens not to like you. They could be, as follows:

a) you two are too different (She likes pink, you like blue. She likes Clay, you like Ruben. She's a vegetarian, you think "sirloin steak" is an appetizer. You get the idea.)
b) you've got bad breath (pretty much self-explanatory. Think of it this way: would anyone want to share a bed with an exhaust pipe?)
c) you are Hong Kai (Sorry, can't be helped. Luckily, this scenario is limited to only one very unfortunate person)

and many more.

The thing is, if that person doesn't like you and has explicity stated so to you, shouldn't you be trying to move along and get on with your life instead of moping about, hoping against hope that person will somehow magically change his or her mind and suddenly come up to you and say "hey, XXX, I love you! Let's get engaged now, married next week, elope to Romania and raise 5 kids"? That's what I would do. And that's my advice to all the lovesick maniacs out there.

Drop the sappy MSN nicks, stop quoting schmaltzy love songs in them, stop concocting self-indulgent quotes about love and MOVE ON. Is that too much to ask?

Thank you all for your time.

(This author promptly exploded after seeing gems such as "Love is complicated, but precious as a blue sapphire" and "I can only pray that we will be joined together on the wings of love" on his MSN list).

2004-09-11T17:38:00.000+08:00

I've been meaning to update my blog for ages really, but I just haven't had the time to and what with studying and writing the Maths Notebook and Gunbounding, I've been pretty much stripped of online time lately, and add this on to the fact that I only have 2 hours of access a day, which leads to increasingly less frequent blogging. I promise not to neglect this blog after the Os. And there's that tiny fact that I actually typed a long exposition essay discussing flirts, the stigma they're usually associated with, and paying homage to some of the most powerful and skillful flirts in Anderson. But I was talked out of publishing it by Huey Sun who said that most of the people named would feel offended, which is unfortunately true. But I don't see why anyone named has any basis to be offended. I mean, if you're thick-skinned enough to approach people of the opposite gender and engage them in conversation (and maybe even a little hair twirling and giggling), you should be able to handle someone saying stuff about you online. Likewise, if you're thick-skinned enough to go around telling people you've had six online relationships, I don't see why bother denying it after word has gotten out. Am I right, Ling Hui? :).

I watched the Singapore Music Awards 2004 and surprisingly, I discovered that the Chinese music industry isn't as pathetic as I thought it was. I mean, of course, there were the usual appalling singers like Energy (who lip synched) and Jolin Tsai (who didn't and sounded abysmal) and 5566 (who didn't even turn up but just their music in the background was enough to hurt my ears), but for some reason beyond my comprehension, the very talented but ugly as hell Eason Chan was invited this time around and he did not disappoint by clinching the Best Male Singer Award. Of course he should have won. It'd have been a travesty if he had lost it to someone like say, Jay Chou or Wang Lee Hom. Then there was F.I.R. who has proven to me that they can in fact sing live and are impressing more and more these days. Faye has a pretty good voice and she can sing live quite well. A pleasant surprise, no doubt.

Went to the dentist in Malaysia yesterday. Yes, I know as much as you do that dentists do exist in Singapore, Tell that to my mother, will you? Thanks! Anyway, my teeth are really clean now. Like, really really clean. I was kind of afraid to open my mouth today while talking because I was rather afraid I might blind my tutor. Apparently they used this sand-powder thing to clean my mouth, which hurt like hell, but cleaned it up pretty well. I actually thought I was going to die during the process. It was everywhere in my face and my mouth and it tasted horrible.

The dentist and his nurse were discussing video cameras and other assorted technology from 1989 with great interest throughout the entire session. Where have these people been? They seem to have lost touch with time. No one, absolutely no one uses video cameras these days. We all use digital cameras. And the nurse confessed she was afraid to purchase one because she was afraid it might be "too hard to use" (her words, not mine). For crying out loud! I have this feeling she might pass out if presented with a Pentium 4 Computer. I was quite tempted to ask if the equipment they were using dated back to 1989 but since my mouth was full of that sand gunk, I couldn't quite enunciate a syllable. I did consider sneezing to get their attention, but I don't think they wanted wall-to-wall sand in the clinic.

Random thought of the day: all brothers should go jump off a building.

One more thing I can't believe I forgot: HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY SYAF*! ((:

You've been nothing but a wonderful friend in my 4 years in Anderson. Thank you for sticking by me through everything. Your art rocks my world (graffiti kicks ass) and so do you. We have to keep in touch when we graduate! Love you lots, JX.

2004-09-07T17:38:00.000+08:00

Adults have the weirdest sense of humour. A few days ago I visited my Grandma's house with my parents and it so happened that my aunt and uncle were also there for dinner, so after dinner, I retired to Grandma's room to resume work on the Maths Notebook, which, by the way, I have not forgotten about. It's just that I've been so incredibly busy studying I haven't had time to update a goddamned thing. Anyway, they watched this ridiculous video where two people were filmed dancing on top of a building and it was a karaoke thing so there were lyrics which went something like this:

I happy, you happy
I want you come over here so we can be happy
We together happy happy

I kid you not. And they were laughing so hysterically I just had to come out and take a look at what was it that was so funny. This continued the whole way home in the car. But after thinking about it, I suppose it is kinda funny in the Asnah sense of things. But why would my mother, who thinks "She are beautiful" is correct, laugh at anyone's English? The enigma (and the irony) of it all.

Went for Chinese in the morning late, but still earlier than Aileen*. That girl was super duper late, LOLL. And she arrived at class Aileen-style; which means being flanked by two or more guys, namely Kendrick and Xing Hong this time. And Bumble*'s gonna retire this year. The school's loss eh. She totally rocks. In the 2 years she's taught us, our HMT class has gone from mostly detesting her to loving her, and she's damn funkeh too. I love her to bits totally. I will pass my HMT to do her proud! Today we gave her the Teacher's Day Card we made for her and she was beaming from ear to ear. I could tell she was damn happy. Rock on Bumble!

What else? Oh, I've been running into a lot of my old classmates recently, but the thing is that we pretend we don't know each other, which is fine by me. Usually, the meeting takes place on a bus so in the end, both sides end up looking at everything except each other: the metal railings, other people, 'stop' buttons, the driver, cars outside, our laps, greenery, the air vents. Did you know that an air vent on a Double Decker bus has 2 more openings than a Single Deck Bus? I bet you didn't. Well, now you do! And it's all thanks to people who can't be bothered/are too rude to say hi to their Primary School classmate. Incivility does go a long way.

Right, the left side of my mouth is killing me. It seriously is. It started hurting about a few days ago and the aching hasn't gone away ever since. I think I'm growing a wisdom tooth. Heh, and just in time too. Does this mean my L1R5 will automatically reduce itself by 20 points? Thank you. Thank you. I'll take that as a yes. Anyway, I'm seeing a dentist on Friday to get it checked up and maybe get it removed as well. I kne w that temporary intelligence was too good to last.

Off to pun with Huey Sun* and Chee Yao* in MSN. Seeya!

2004-08-31T21:04:00.000+08:00

I originally came online intending to update the Maths Notebook but I figured I shouldn't bother and just update my personal blog instead. Why should I bother doing stuff for other people's pleasure? I think it's time I learnt to place myself before others. Placing others before yourself just gets you into a hell lotta trouble and causes you misery when nothing is reciprocated.

Now that I've injected my usual dose of cynicism into you, let's start. The performance today was pretty okay actually. I didn't hear any jeering, which must be a good sign, right? But then again, Hong Kai's performance was also met with applause and cheers. Now I don't know what to think. Anyway, we came, we sang and we danced. It was fun. I really love 4/3 to bits. We rock! And we sang to Madam Hasniza in class afterwards and she was moved to tears, which just goes to show how well we sang; we managed to turn a crap-ass one-hit-wonder pop ballad into something with real sentimental value to someone! And in case you're wondering, I have something against K-Ci & Jo-Jo, because they're Fantasia's cousins. Yes, anything which is related to Fantasia gets on my last nerve. Take that, Mrs Barrino! And Mr Barrino! Your child sucks. And you too, Zion! Your mom sucks.

Then Be Yourself Day. Ahem, my views on this topic are extremely slanted. I don't like people dressing up too ostentatiously in a bid to come off as "cool" or "funky". It's especially worse if you can't pull it off. That's just not my thing, which is why I spent most of the day with a disgusted expression on my face. I think that person from 3/8 or 3/9 and his G-Unit pals just can't cut it as The Real Thing. I mean, come on, even the real 50 Cent and the real Sean Paul makes my skin curl, and people posing as them? Disgust even more. For fuck's sake, drop the pretense and wear your school uniform. I'd be more impressed. Or are you worried you can't fit inside? :) There are more such people, and from the least expected. I was unpleasantly appalled.

An example of people who did pull it off were Karen* and Vanessa* and that Rabbit Girl from 1/2. Their outfits were comical, down-to-earth, wonderfully self-deprecating and very fun-spirited. Karen and Vanessa dressed up in electrician outfits and carried toolboxes, while the Rabbit Girl... dressed up as a rabbit. With fur and all. Ok, look, I think the words Rabbit Girl are pretty much a give-away, so just in case you're looking for a blow-by-blow fashion commentary, you can forget about it right there.

I have to thank Jihan* here for giving me her Hilary Duff Teenage magazine. The one with the Lizzie McGuire movie review inside! Thank you so much babe! Props* to you!

Oh, and I changed my mind about Nanthini. I don't hate her. But I don't love her either. I'm just neutral towards her, until she offends me, that is. She was actually pretty civil and nice to our class during the rehearsals, which I thought was rather respectful, so this'll be my disposition towards her, until she pisses me off.

I'm off to GB. Seeya around.

2004-08-30T18:22:00.000+08:00

Think Matt's pissed at some people. lol.

Had Chem practical today and I screwed it up as usual, which is fine.

Went home.

Decided to go for tuition.

*Edited: I made up my mind. It's time to let go. I really wish we could be a group and still stick together for everything like Huey Sun or Chee Yao's groups, but I think it's no use trying to do that when I'm the only person who desires that. I should just mind my own business and do my own stuff. And anyway, the loner thing worked for other people? I think I can manage it fine too. I don't bear any resentment towards anyone regarding this. I chose to go to 4/3 myself. Maybe if I had followed Aileen and Liyanah to 4/2 or Matthew to 4/4, things would have been different. But then again, it's useless to hypothesize, and I don't regret for one moment in deciding to go to 4/3.

2004-08-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

Love can be a many splendid thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind
It'll fool you every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Now I was a once a fool it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder but I'm wiser too
I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See you've got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This set story always ends the same
Me standin in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

The trouble with love is (the trouble with love)
It can tear you up inside (it can tear you up inside)
Make your heart believe a lie (Make your heart believe a lie)
It's stronger than your pride
(The trouble with love is) It's in your heart it's in your soul
(It doesn't care how fast you fall) You're losing all control
(And you can't refuse the call)
See you've got no say at all
The trouble with love is (Oooo.ya)
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie (the trouble with love..)

Nice song :)

2004-08-28T22:18:00.000+08:00

So anyway, I wasn't exactly done yesterday with what I wanted to blog about. The one good thing about only being able to get on the computer on the weekends is that you have one week worth of things to talk about and you don't have to rummage around for ridiculous topics like gun culture or drug trafficking or weird droopy plastic bags that you have to practically rip apart just to put something inside them. I knew I was pretty much scraping the barrel back then when I resorted to talking about stuff like that.

What was it I wanted to talk about? Oh yes, the Teachers' Day Concert. 4/3 is taking part in it, as are 4/1 and 4/5 (they're having a combined band) and so is 4/4 and 5/1 (a nice percussion bucket/tin/pail/bottle thingy). Thankfully, there're going to be teachers and other performances in between the performances from the class because this year's line-up is shit. I'm not going to single out anyone to pick on but in general, I think it isn't as good as the past years' performances. And some people should try solo-ing it if they think it's that easy and they can laugh while others are doing it. Just for your information, your performance at the Chinese Talentime was horrendous too, so stop for a while to consider your position before you laugh at others.

Then there was Huang Yida's tiny concert at our school, which surprisingly, was a success. Actually, I guess I can't really count it as a surprise. After all, it's only right that a mediocre artiste would have a huge following at a mediocre school. Weirdly enough, Huang Yida is likable. He's a nice person, though he could do with some vocal projection lessons. Only Jay can do the whole hum-shuffle feet act. His songs are hummable pop ditties with varying depth, but one thing about them are they're so well-written that it takes skill to sing them. And of course, like all Chinese artistes, Yida doesn't have the vocal abilites to do so. Other than that, the showcase was a considerable success. He was obviously unaware most of the cheering and screaming was actually mockery and the cliche "ignorance is bliss" couldn't fit the bill better here.

I'm quite shocked at myself. Did I manage to write something not completely scathing about a Chinese artiste?

Well, maybe it's because I watched Singapore Idol on Wednesday. Comparisons are always odious. I've yet to decide which is worse: Florence Lian's comments, the contestants' singing, Gurmit's hosting skills (or lack thereof) or Douglas Oliveiro's hair. I think the second is probably my choice, because I had to sit through 1.5 hours of it. But Douglas's hair really gives it a run for its money, considering I had to stare at it for at least 3/4 of the time he was judging. Decisions, decisions.

The show started with Andy Joshua Lim murdering Bob Darin's "Mack The Knife". Notice this song was also performed by Clay Aiken during AI2. The whole "take on a song by a performer more talented than me" thing soon became a recurring theme among the contestants. Of course, when you take on a song, one of the main factors is to consider if you have the ability to do it. Calvin Zhang certainly had it when he sang "Get Here", but his low-cut dress, ironically, didn't cut it. (You've been punn'd) Jane Chia murdered "Reflections" horribly. And Dick? Malacca would like to give you the finger. They listen to good music. I bought my Max 14 with fake versions of pop songs by unknown Malay imposters there and they still sounded worlds better than anyone on the show.

Jeassea performed "Chain Of Fools" alright, but once again, her version paled in comparison to Fantasia's version or the short 20 second snippet Trenyce did on the 60s' Medley in Season 2. Let's not even insult Aretha Franklin, the original singer with a comparison of any sort. Imelda Teo is a media whore, in my opinion. She has joined the 8 Days Bachelorette competition in addition to Singapore Idol, claiming that she wants to "experience everything before she turns 30". How would you like to experience a good kick in the ass from me before you turn 30, Imelda? Her version of "Longer" was unbearably long, not to mention abysmal.

David DeCruz sang "Karma Chameleon" from the Escape Club and it was terrible. I'm only halfway through the contestants and already I'm running out of synonyms for "bad". It was just terrible. He didn't even mind when the judges told him his singing sucked, because he knew it, just like everyone else did. What an asshole. David Yeo looked like Jay, sang worlds better than him, but sadly chose to sing "Open Arms" which Clay blew out of the water in his initial auditions. Sigh.

Then Dwayne Tan sang "Go The Distance" and was painfully mediocre. Half the time he was singing, I was wondering how on Earth did they put through people like him. I could grab anyone from Anderson and they'd probably be as good as him. In fact, no-no. No, he still sings better than most Andersonians. My apologies, I got carried away. Please drop that mike now, Ling Hui. You're not most Andersonians. You're Medusa, that's what you are. Benjamin, living up to his previous boyband status, sang "You To Me Are Everything" ordinarily and was dissed for it. Heh.

Olinda Cho? Is without a doubt the Fantasia of Singapore. She's got a good voice, but is ridiculously overhyped and she'll probably win the competition. The only ones who can give her any competition at all are David and Jeassea.

The judges were all assholes. But something about Ken Lim just bothers me. When I figure it out, I'll break the news.

2004-08-27T18:30:00.000+08:00

Yawen* seriously rocks, man. Today there was this bunch of irritating and immature group of Sec 2 boys (that description doesn't help much, does it? Most Sec 2s are generally irritating and immature. You have to fulfill that criteria to be considered a Sec 2) playing around with a soccer ball outside the hall, and they were hollering, shouting, yelling and making a general nuisance of themselves.I suppose this is mainly attributed to the reason that they have no balls of their own to toy around with, so they have to resort to such means to get a kick. Quite pathetic, actually. But then, they're Sec 2s. Lower Sec. It's their job to be pathetic.

And then they kicked the ball into Yawen's leg and just continued with what they were doing without even saying a quick 'sorry' to her. Of course, this didn't go down well with her and she confronted them. It was quite a sight really, because Jenrine* was there too, as well as Karen*, Huey Sun*, Ying Ying* and Huixian*. Yuen Yin* and I were separated from them, walking right in front of the boy . Bring on the smackdown!

So Yawen basically shouted that they were behaving like a bunch of jackasses and that hitting a girl on the leg with a ball and not apologizing was out of line. Then Jenrine joined in by calling them immature, and Yuen Yin had the ingenious idea of sealing off their way of exit through the staircase by forming a human barrier with me. Yawen and the others swarmed over from behind. A fight would almost have broken out if not for the teacher who was on the staircase as well. And let me tell, you, they were scared shitless. I think if Mei Kuan* and Yi Jun* had been there as well, the poor things would have started pissing in their pants. And once Yuen Yin and I broke up our human barrier, they bolted faster than lightning, shouting vulgarities in their wake. What a bunch of cowards.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid to say that the cowardice is also rampant among the Sec 4s. Well, not really, but there are people with such tendencies, and of course, I'm talking about my dear friends The Miasma. Ling Hui has declined to play in a soccer match with the Double Science girls, obviously because she's afraid that they're gonna kick her sorry ass all over the field. Cowardice has never looked so bad before.

I've to thank Jenrine* here, because she has helped me a great deal by Photoshopping the image on my Maths Notebook and also for typing in a huge portion of Chapter 14 and publishing it. Thanks so much! Props to you, baybehh. ((:

Also, I have to salute Hung* from 4/1 here. This guy totally rocks too, because... HE BEAT 4/6. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. Yeah, anyway, he did. According to Mr Wong, who compiled the level rankings for the Sec 4s. the top student in our level for the Prep Prelims is from 4/1 and it's definitely Hung. What a way to go! Keep it up, man! The rest of the level is totally behind you. ((:. Who said foreign talent wasn't good? And Yin Hui* also. You two are our best chances of beating 4/6 and we're counting on you guys to do it. Go kick their asses.

Everyone is getting into the Olympian fever nowadays. 4/2 and 4/3 are turning into Mount Olympus, what with everyone using their King Of The Castle books to play "Book"-minton or to play table tennis and squash. And there's this crappy basketball hoop at the back of the 4/2 classroom where you can practise shooting hoops with crumpled Newsweek balls. Damn funny larr. I was laughing my ass off when I tried it that day. Necessity is the mother of invention. Whoo.

Off to dinner. Ta.

Break Away

2004-08-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

House Of Sand And Fog is a really really good film. I watched it today, and it simply blew me away. I already wrote a super-long review on it somewhere else and I don't intend to repeat myself here so my advice for you is try to grab a copy of its VCD or DVD and watch it. Even if you can't appreciate the film, you can take some time to ogle at Jennifer Connelly, who has the most beautiful eyes that light up with passion when she speaks and the most amazing presence in any film. Her acting abilities have time and again been certified (as proven by her Oscar nod for Best Supporting Actress in 2001 for A Beautiful Mind) and she is incredibly hot too. How often is it that you find an actress who's both pretty and can act? Not often. Most usually have the looks and not the abilities (Mischa Barton) or the abilities but not the looks (Kathy Bates) or neither (Fann Wong).

And I watched part of the table-tennis match between Li Jiawei and Kim Hyang Mi from North Korea today And though she ultimately conceded the match, Li Jiawei is officially one of my favorite sportswomen and Singapore is exceedingly proud of her. She's dead calm in the face of immense pressure, she plays well (8th in the world, so I'm told) and she doesn't feel the need to shriek like a hyena when she plays the game. Seriously, it's a table-tennis match, not a horror film. Is there a need to punctuate every single point scored with a blood-curdling scream? That Kim Hyang Mi certainly thought so. Matthew's mother was doing the chores while the match was going on and she didn't even need to watch the match to know who was scoring. She just needed to listen to the "CHAAAAAA!" s to know that Kim Hyang Mi had scored. Which is why this table-tennis match has been hence dubbed Scream 3. The worst experience wasn't seeing Li Jiawei lose, it was having to hear Kim Hyang Mi high-octave her way through 7 sets of the game. What a holy nightmare. If I were Li Jiawei, I'd have caved in and socked her smack in the face with the bat. Silly woman.

Studied some chem today, I still think I'm going too slow; Prelims are coming up in less than a month and I haven't even started on E Maths. I feel like I'm on a runaway train that's heading straight for doom, and there's nothing I can do to stop it either.

And may I take this opportunity to salute 4/2 for a match well played today against 4/1. Considering they faced numerous difficulties (strikers leaving halfway through the match, inexperienced players), they pulled through wonderfully to end the match with the score of 4-2, with 4/1 the winner.

From what I hear, it seems that the school is trying to sneak about and inform parents in private about a school lunch they're having next Friday. Anderson is really going to the pits. What, may I ask, are you going to feed our parents? Canteen Food? Unlike us, they've been accustomed to eating edible food and the sudden change might render them vulnerable to food poisoning. Damn it all. I hate Anderson.

2004-08-20T21:37:00.000+08:00

I can't even start to tell you what a huge flop the upcoming release of Predator VS Alien will be. All these stupid movies pitting crossover characters against each other are destined failures, I tell you. They never have and never will stand a chance. Look at what happened to Freddy VS Jason. No one wants to watch two deranged creatures rip the shit out of each other for seven dollars.Just put two aunties squabbling over the last reduced-price garupa in a boxing ring and you basically get the same thing. And it's free. Does the tagline of the movie "Whoever wins... we lose" refer to the box office ratings? If so, at least the moviemakers have got one thing spot on. It's OK to make movies which are a commercial flop but at least earn some critical acclaim, but not only it is worthless, it's also trash. How anyone can walk away from such a show learning something from it is beyond me. [Edit: After checking up, I have suddenly learnt that Alien VS Predator has actually topped the Box Office in the U.S. in its first week of release, grossing 38.3 million. Looks like there're a lot of dumbasses out there. Go Figure.]

Watched the first part of Bowling For Columbine in English class today. Michael Moore really has a knack for making thought-provoking documentaries. Maybe it's just me but I don't hold his partisan political views or pointed editing in high regard. It's just too subjective for my taste. His skill in filmmaking is however, laudable. The movie is seamlessly well-edited, seguing from one scene to the next. And the fact that you can walk into a bank and buy a gun in the States just scares me. The fact that people keep .44 Magnums under their pillows scare me. I don't like guns. Guns are scary. Especially for sloppy people like me. One mistake or slip of the finger and your whole thumb gets blown off to Connecticut.

Then I headed home after school (which was as usual boring) and watched Spiderman, which was just OK. It was good, but not in the same league as Bowling For Columbine. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have watched both movies in the same day, because after having to think over something as serious and deep as gun culture in the States, radioactive arachnids seem the last of our worries in this world. Tobey Maguire was really good though, taking the audience past his looks to portray the social outcast and freak that Peter Parker was perceived as. Kirsten Dunst was nowhere near his standards, but she was hot as Mary Jane, so it's all good. Before this, I was rather unconvinced regarding the quality of the Spiderman films, but now I've altered my mindset. Bring on Spiderman 2!

Nothing much else to say other than I've been studying studying studying these few days. There's nothing else going on in my life other than trying to scrape a pass for my Prelims.

Life sucks now.

2004-08-19T22:42:00.000+08:00

I've been neglecting this blog for ages, really, because of studying and also, because of maths notes. Those maths notes are too important. Also, I'm trying out the whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" theory, though I know it doesn't really work. I mean, look at Mrs Tan. She was still as irritating as ever even after her trip to China. And I might be going out on a limb here, but I highly doubt any of the malay students have missed Madam Asnah in anyway. I'll probably be tied to an electric chair and fried for even daring to voice my honest opinion about teachers on here but I don't think I could really care so kindly persecute me for all you like.

The past few days have been nothing short of traumatic. Every day in school seems like a year, the way it's stretched out. And really, does anyone notice the Sec 4s have all been walking around the school looking like a bunch of zombies? We can't do this studying thing. We really can't. I mean, look at me. I'm like a freak. I'm possessed, I think. The old me would never have missed the premiere of Season 7 of Charmed just for a stupid crummy Chemistry tuition lesson. Or an episode of the crapola that is Singapore Idol for an utterly useless Physics tuition lesson. This torment had better come to an end soon.

Also, I think it doesn't speak much for the afternoon structured revision when even the teachers are against it as well. Research has shown... OH ALRIGHT, figures that I made up on the spot (happy now?) here have shown that a person's brain stops absorbing information after 1.5 hours of intense study. Of course, some people stopped absorbing information long ago before they got into Sec 4 but that's a different case altogether. We get 6 hours of that in school alone, without including the additional 2.5 hours of block revision. There is absolutely no use in forcing us to absorb more than what we can. It won't do any good. Even the teachers are all against it and are doing their best to help us escape from them by either cancelling the lessons or turning a blind eye when everyone skips the block revision. I never thought I'd say it, but Go Anderson Teachers!

5 minutes left and I'm desperately scouring my mind for things to blog about. I had so much to say in the afternoon, I can't believe I'm stuck here. It's all the fault of the Structured Revision! Damn the school!

Karen* really lights up my life. I mean it. Her lame comments can never fail to make me laugh. And the "low socks doesn't mean no socks" and the "Where's the cat?" "In The Bag" were absolute classics. Thank you for cracking my shit up and easing the tension and fervent atmosphere with your effortless panache and lame comments; it's especially important now.

Alright, I need to go watch The O.C. now so I'll blog more tomorrow. Ta!

2004-08-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

This is just incredibly sad. I'm sitting here eating the vilest fruit on earth ever: Papaya. It's just Vile. VILE. VILE. I hate papaya with a vengeance. I'm going to check my list of abhorrence after this and if papaya's not on it, it's going straight to the top of the list alongside Ling Hui. Papaya has no reason for existence, except for poisoning people. And let's face it, we have toxic waste and poisonous gases to cover those. How can anything made from papaya be edible, let alone tasty? Papaya Bubble Tea? I'd rather get displaced by aqueous sulphuric acid. Papaya Cake? I'd rather munch on a yummy slice of volcanic rock, thanks. Papaya Sweets? Hand over that piece of gum you just stepped on.

Today was pretty uneventful actually. I nearly cried during English. I really, nearly did. I was about to stand up waving my "I Love Qingyi* and Liyanah* Because They Kicked 4/6's Sorry Ass All Over The Place" banners and "Qingyi for President and Liyanah for er, Presidentess" signs when the bombshell dropped. Due to a calculation error, some insignificant Liliputian idiot from 4/6 got 4 more marks, adding on to his previous total to make up 78 and top the class, overtaking Qingyi and Liyanah's scores of 76. You know, I wouldn't have even cared about getting a B3. If I could have given them 3 marks each from my average, I would have, just to help them defeat 4/6. My only consolation is that that 78 was the only A1 from their class. So, all is not lost, I suppose. This here's a promise to myself to work harder. I may not be able to top them in maths or sciences but I have the best chance that I can get with English and I'm going to do everything I can within my power to prevent a repeat episode during the Prelims.

And you, you elitist bitch. Don't tell my friend to shut up just because she shrieks. I'd like to dangle a lizard in front of you and see how you'd react. Oh, I forgot, you'd probably try to mate with it, wouldn't you? Because you're on the same level in the evolutionary chain as reptiles, probably even lower. Go to Hell, and take your stupid snooty ass friend with you too. You two are the reason why I'm glad I chose to switch from 4/2 to 4/3.

Can the councillors get anymore pathetic? I really don't think so. The Aces Day "workout" or "dance" is the most badly choreographed thing I've ever had the misfortune of witnessing in my entire life. There's not a single good thing I can say about it. It wasted us of one hour of PE lesson (not to mention that we got held back for 45 minutes after EFL just to repeat it), and there are movements in it that look suspiciously like they were ripped off the tiny woman on the bottom right of Channel TV3 signing for the mute. And if no one ever knew what the hand gesture was for "here's a flower for you, entrapped in my hands so you have to stick a rake in it to get it out", the Anderson Student Council just invented it. Also, since when a dance have a chorus? Or a bridge? Those are stuff you find in songs, not dances. Yes, you can repeat the movements but you call it "repitition of movements", not "chorus". A chorus is a a part of a song or hymn recurring at intervals, got it? Not only do the councillors have trouble coming up with good and original dance steps, they can't even tell the difference between a song and dance.

They're not to blame. Anderson is. Anderson is to blame for everything. Terrorism, War, Famine, Broken Air-Conditioners, Bad Canteen Food. Just everything. We're supposed to be "responsible" for what we write on our blogs nowadays? Without being rude or using the "B" or "D" or "F" or "Z" or whatever words that have most recently been banned, let me just simply point out that the chances of anyone litigating a person based on statements on an online blog are close to non-existent. Does the school understand how much it would cost to hire a lawyer to sue someone for slander? And that if in the likely case that the judge dismisses it, the costs incurred. All that for a bit of hubris? No one would be that stupid. Not to mention the time and energy invested into fighting the lawsuit. I think we all have more important things to do, like STUDY. You'd think the school'd know all about this area of the law. It's only a matter of time before someone dies of food poisoning or heat stroke or hypothermia (depending on which temporary block classroom said victim studies in) and a lawsuit is brought up against it.

Okay, now I've gotten that out of my system, I need to talk about how wonderful 4/3 is. We spent the whole afternoon choreographing the Teachers' Day Dance and it's gonna rock. (: Sadly, about half of the class is taking part only. I find it a huge pity that some people can't be bothered to get involved in class events at all. They see school merely as a place of study, nothing else. Ah well, class spirit can't be forced, as proven by 4/6's miserable class lunches and breakfasts and dinners and suppers, but all I'm saying is, it's your last year here. Surely, you'd want some good memories to take away from Anderson? Indifference is good, but too much of it makes you an outcast. (wordplay again)

And a last point to an idiot called nash out there reading this. Part of the appeal of reality TV is that it reaches out to the innate voyeur within us, and this innate voyeur is also why the Sims is such a smash in the computer gaming world. We enjoy watching people doing things we normally fantasize about on TV, and also people who get on TV are going to be discussed and not everything said about them is going to be kind. This concept is clearly displayed with celebrities. So in a way, the people who go on American Idol or Singaporean Idol become overnight celebrities and they will be discussed and dissed or praised accordingly to a person's opinions. So stop coming to my blog altogether if you're going to be defending Pei Wen the whole way. Normally, I wouldn't even bother to talk about this, but it's just completely irritating. Go away.

2004-08-12T17:46:00.000+08:00

Only three days have passed since I last blogged but yet so much has already happened. People's backs have turned again, I have secretly downloaded and fallen in love with a Jolin Tsai song, I've taken more "maths notes", Singapore's credibility as a music hub has been completely destroyed and Channel 5's TV scheduling has radically taken a turn for the better for the general public but not for me personally.

Let me just salute Nadia* and Benjamin* first here for you-know-what. To dare to stand out and be different is very brave and I applaud your courage to do so. Rock on, you both.

***Ok, I cleared up everything with Mei Kuan, Aileen and Liyanah, I think, and Mei Kuan's gonna talk to Yi Jun tomorrow so hopefully everything will be OK. I'm really awfully sorry about the way I've been behaving lately and I'm sorry I was a pain in the ass. Thanks for telling me what was wrong. ((:

Congrats to all those who scored well for their O Level Mother Tongue Exams! And to those who didn't: It's OK, you get another try. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Actually, I'm not really sure if that cliche applies in this instance but I just threw it in for the sake of it.

And of course, there's Singapore Idol, which, surprisingly didn't flop as badly as I thought it would but we've only seen 2 episodes of it. The Final 12 shows will be the real proof of whether this show is a success or a failure. And right now, I'm leaning heavily towards "failure". The first episode which I managed to catch sucked ass. In the duration of one hour, only 5 good auditions were aired. The rest were either William Hung wannabes or just horrifically bad. What's there to say? They came, they conquered, they didn't hit a single a note.

The Lemon Tree guy was a complete joke, as was the idiot whose singing was overwhelmed by the sound of air molecules colliding into each other around him. But Steven Lim takes fame whoring to a whole new level. Not only was his striptease act completely inappropriate, it showcased how desperate some people are just to get on camera. Yes, a certain school principal, this refers to you as well. He didn't even go there to sing and seriously attempt to make it into Round 2. He just wanted to get on camera as an "entertainer". I'm sorry, but entertainers don't parade on TV in yellow underwear. They can dance. They can act. They can sing, or they're supposed to be able to anyway. And if you haven't visited his website, you should seriously consider doing so. Not only is he a fame whore, he took English lessons from Asnah too. What a certified idiot.

Speaking of idiots, the other side of the judging table had its fair share too. As far as I can see, the only sensible judge who is genuinely making constructive comments is Dick Lee, and actually, he's more sarcastic than Simon Cowell is. Simon isn't sarcastic. Rude, yes. Sarcastic, no. Telling someone they're "absolutely ghastly" isn't sarcastic. Some of Dick Lee's comments are really cutting though. And there's also the fact that he's the most human-looking one out of the three males on the panel.

Florence Lian has lived up to her expectations as the Singaporean Paula Abdul. At times during the auditions, I was rather afraid she'd explode and spray the room with Botox and pure stupidity. Some of her comments were funny, though not in a good way. "When I see you, I think of getai leh." "Sorry lah, the outfit cannot make it, the singing lagi cannot make it."

And as for Douglas Oliveiro, I'm just not sure why is he there. I've never heard of his band or his achievements until they aired his introduction video. I'm surprised they even found enough content on him to make a video. I was pretty sure they'd have to resort to filming his HDB flat or something for filler. Anyway, he's just there, to, I don't know, rephrase Dick's comments in a boring and lucid manner. Which means he's probably the Boring Translator for the Singaporeans. That's useful, because there're plenty of Boring people in Singapore, starting with 4/6. Not that they'd watch TV, unless they get graded for it.

Also, I'm sorry but Michelle Saram is NOT an international or regional superstar. Christina Aguilera is an international superstar. Eminem is an international superstar. S.H.E. are regional superstars, and in a somewhat different sort of way, Xu Chun Mei is a regional superstar too. Michelle Saram is not a star. She's that spare bit of asteroid that comes flying down out of nowhere and kills some poor soul taking a night walk along the beach. I cannot believe Mediacorp's audacity in letting the voiceover track state that "... Ken manages Hype Records, which has generated many hit albums and international superstars [insert candid shot of Fann Wong, Phyllis Quek and Michelle Saram]...". What utter rubbish. Just because she cut an album does not mean that she has any right to be called a star. She single-handedly murdered Meteor Garden. And Phyllis Quek, a star? Puh Leeze. Her mole has more star quality than the rest of her does.

On a brighter note, Dania (is that how you spell it?) made it into the Final 30 of Singapore Idol, according to some people and Pei Wen, thankfully, did not. Whoopee.

2004-08-09T16:27:00.000+08:00

How sad is it that almost everyone is going across the Causeway to celebrate National Day? Apparently, the Second Link and the Causeway are both piled up with traffic right now both ways. And I thought I had no national spirit. Seems like there're people worse off than me. I guess good food and pirated VCDs hold more appeal than celebrating the nation's 39th birthday. Actually, given the two, I'd pick the former too, only I've discovered the joys of watching store-bought VCDs, like the fact that no one is laughing in the background when a funny scene comes on in the movie. And I'm still getting used to the whole no-human-heads are-blocking-my-view thing even now.

This morning, I got up at 10:15 AM and like I promised myself yesterday night, I'd give Jolin Tsai a proper chance and I watched her one-hour showcase to give myself a feel of what her singing was like. I missed the first 15 minutes of the show so I can't comment on what happened then at that time but from what I saw and heard when I turned on the TV, Jolin's live singing skills are... not that bad! She actually sounds convincing while she's singing those ballads off her album, which is probably not a big problem, given that they have the range of about 3 different notes and they're in her easiest register.

Then came the problem. She wasn't engaging her audience. From the camera pans, I could tell that the crowd was really bored, especially during some of the slow numbers. Only the first few rows who were standing close to the stage went really crazy. Even when she pulled back into her hit song, the more upbeat "Jiu Shi Ai", they still looked bored. No one seemed to give a damn that she was asking them to clap along. No one cared. It was just incredibly stale.

In terms of singing abilities, I'd place Jolin somewhere ahead of the truly crappy teenyboppers Mandy Moore and Britney Spears, but behind the better teen pop queens Hilary Duff and Jessica Simpson. To put it simply, she's just mediocre.

(Now might be a good time to read my disclaimer. Because what I'm going to say next is the cold hard truth and I'm not planning on mincing my words)

And that segues me into my next segment, which is the point that the entire Chinese music industry is based around this: mediocrity. For some reason beyond my explanation, mediocre is the new good. Which would explain as to why artistes like Jay Chou, Jolin Tsai, Cyndi Wang and 5566 are all a hit nowadays. They're riding this trend that is invading every corner of Asia. How are these artistes mediocre? Let me explain.

Watching Jolin's showcase this morning helped me come to this epiphany. The difference between Jolin Tsai and say, someone like Mariah Carey during their live showcases is that while Jolin bored her audience, Mariah Carey made the audience feel like part of the whole concert. She rode around the stadium in her pink convertible and waved to everyone, making them feel like it mattered to her they were there to see her. And when she sang her final song for the night 'Hero' (a worldwide smash and an all-time classic), everyone got up and gave her a standing ovation that lasted for the entirety of 3 minutes. There were even people who were reduced to tears by her performance. It was truly an amazing moment. I'm sure there were tears shed at Jolin's performance too: tears of boredom. Jolin Tsai, from what I observed, just vaguely encouraged people to clap along and she remained isolated most of the time onstage, far from the reach of the audience.

Apart from their stage presence, there's also the fact that Mariah Carey has a huge voice and a phenomenal range, while Jolin Tsai, well, sounds like a tea kettle whistling in comparison. And this is probably the reason why Jolin has done reasonably well in the region, Mariah Carey has sold over a hundred million albums worldwide and still holds the record for the longest stay at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 with her hit duet with Boyz II Men "One Sweet Day". One is an ace, the other a true diva.

Okay, so maybe you're stinging from the way I put down Jolin Tsai in the last few paragraphs, and you say: "This is unfair! Mariah and Jolin have completely different styles! You can't compare them!". To you, I say this. Good music is good music. If it's good, it'll be appreciated and liked, no matter who the person listening to it is. Bad music, on the other hand is rampant and will remain bad. And besides, how exactly are Mariah and Jolin different? Both are pop singers. If I compared Jolin to someone like Diana Krall, your argument might have some backbone. But in this case it's completely invalid. This part is specially for Jenrine, enjoy! Also, even if we pit Jolin against the most mediocre artiste currently in the English industry I can think of, which is Beyonce, she would still be far outmatched.

And that is also the difference between the English music industry and the Chinese music industry. While the Chinese music industry has continued to stagnate in only mainstream pop with strands of rock, English music has seen a fusion of techno-funk, alternative rock, fluff pop, heavy metal, jazz and many other types of music coming together to form the giant musical extravaganza that the industry is nowadays. In other words, the English music industry is alive, while the Chinese music industry is blah.

There is something else that one has to consider when weighing the pros and cons of each industry, and that is of course, the singers/bands themselves. The Chinese music industry is moving towards the trend of commercialization. Artistes like Jay Chou, S.H.E, F.I.R, Cyndi Wang and Jolin Tsai are selling albums like hotcakes while vocalists like Jiang Mei Qi, SHIN, and Ocean Ou linger in the background, less commercial than their counterparts, but more capable vocally. Yes, I used two different words. Artiste and Vocalist. An artiste relies not only on his music, but also his packaging to retail himself to the consumer public. A vocalist on the other hand relies heavily on his music and less on his packaging and overall image. There are some who fall under one category, and some who fall under both, and also some who are not under both. I have absolutely no idea what the last group of people are doing in the industry.

The very idea that Jay Chou can perform better than Clay Aiken is absurd. Yes, in terms of marketability and success, Jay has perhaps edged out Clay in the Asian region. But vocally, it is apparent with one listen who is the better singer. I can confidently say that Clay is one of the best vocalists and artistes in the world. Not only does Clay possess phenomenal pipes, he is one-of-a-kind. There's almost no possibility that the world will ever discover another Clay Aiken. He is the American Idol who underwent an amazing transformation from ultra-geek to ultra-cool. Whether you think he's good-looking or not, there is no doubting that he can sing.

In comparison to Jay Chou, whose looks are also debatable like Clay's (some think he's good looking, some think he's fugly) who can't really sing. Don't get me wrong, I like some of Jay's songs but he can't hold a candle to Clay. It is in songwriting where he truly shines, not in singing.

There is no rule stating everyone has to belt like Clay or Diana or sing like Caucasian singers to be affirmed as good singers. Norah Jones, for example, is a good singer in a very different way from the way that Diana DeGarmo is a good singer. She's understated and subdued while Diana is all about volume and lung power. Bad singers will, however, always be bad singers whether they croon or belt or croak. But Jay is not a bad singer, he's just mediocre. The alarming number of people who don't realise this fact are on the rise and I can assure you, there are some of them who are reading this right now. And there are good singers among the Asian singers, as hard as it is to believe, like Fish Leong, Jeff Chang, Jacky Cheung, Ocean Ou, the late Anita Mui and Jiang Mei Qi. The point is that this group of people are not given their dues and that is the failing of the Chinese music industry.

Another failing is that there is little being done to revolutionize or make waves in the Chinese music industry. The English music industry has seen many trends rise and fall, the most recent one being the Idol franchise. The reality TV show has not only rejuvenated the music industry, but also given the entire entertainment industry a new spin. Not only can music be introduced to the masses through radio airplay, it can now also be promoted through the means of TV. Are there any shows from Taiwan, China and Hong Kong that can match the creativity and ingenuity behind American Idol? I think not. All their concepts of reality TV are either a spin-off from American and British TV or a blatant rip-off of them. There is nothing that is new or refreshing whatsoever.

Another failing, or rather circumstance which is outside of control is that while the Chinese music industry has a somewhat limited market confined to the Asian region, the English music industry is the gateway to conquering the world. When you take something to America, you're taking it to the world because every English-speaking country is going to hear about it. How did Hilary Duff become successful? Because of the Lizzie McGuire shows that were a hit in the U.S., of course. How did Idol mania spread throughout the world? Because American Idol was a huge hit in the U.S. despite the fact that the show was introduced initially in Britain. America has been the driving force behind pop culture for many years and will continue to lead the way.

But one must remember, the winds of pop music are forever changing. Bands like F.I.R. are pushing to overcome the mediocrity of S.H.E. and 5566. Vocalists like Ocean Ou are coming into their own. Who knows, in a few years, we might see a different and more vibrant Chinese music industry. But for now? It sucks.

And as to the whole "I think my favorite singer can sing, so what you say is tummyrot" thing, I'd like to emphasize on the point that what you just read was MY opinion on the two industries. You're free to listen to or like whatever you want, as it is beyond my control or my right to tell you what to listen to or like. Even if you are someone who happens to put William Hung on repeat, there is nothing I can do to stop you from causing permanent harm to your ears. By all means, continue. =)

2004-08-08T11:42:00.000+08:00

According to reports that have come in, Sharon Stone and Halle Berry's joined effort Catwoman with Warner Brothers has flopped dismally at the box office, earning caustic reviews from both critics and viewers alike. Hah! Halle, Halle, Halle. You should have known that winning an Oscar based solely on a sex scene in Monster's Ball wouldn't have gotten you credibility as a real actress. Now, not all the leather outfits, whips and S & M gear in the world will be enough to save your movie from bombing like it should. Yes, I'm still bitter about the fact that you beat Nicole Kidman who should have deservedly won that year for her stint in Moulin Rouge or Sissy Spacek who had an outstanding performance with In The Bedroom (not a pornography movie, I assure you).

But you're not entirely to blame. The movie itself is ridiculous. What kind of parents would name their child Patience? And every action movie has its formidable (and sometimes even likable) adversaries. X-Men has Magneto, Superman has Lex Luthor, Batman has The Joker and Catwoman has... Sharon Stone? Middle-aged cosmetics company executive is not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of worthy adversary. Even the cleaning lady would have made a better villain. Or even better, a crazed auntie denied of her Great Singapore Sale shopping privileges. That would be a worthy storyline. The fact that the movie even made it to #3 in the U.S. is probably because many pubescent males gave up good money just to watch Halle strut about in a bra and hip-huggers.

Also, I would just like to argue my case for those people among us who desire more out of our lives and wish to migrate to other countries instead of stagnating in Singapore, but unlike a fellow blogger who has resorted to photoshopping potatoes (and horrifically enough, herself) to expostulate, I'm going to try the more orthodox method of actually putting forth my points in a lucid manner.

It's rather clear that none of us can change the fact that we were all born in Singapore and that we will always remain Singaporean in blood and on our birth certificates wherever we go in this world. But why can't we choose to pursue our dreams and live our lives abroad if we wish to? It's people like these "kantang-haters" who wish to entangle every Singaporean in a giant umbilical cord and to them, I say: HAND ME THE FUCKING SCISSORS. Also, please remember that Singapore is moving towards a knowledge-based industry. I can gladly say that our dream countries would welcome us with open arms, because of our abilities to make a difference in their country's industries and in the long term, improve their standards of living. Any country would welcome people armed with potential, a degree and promising aspects. Perhaps your myopic views have arisen from staring at your reflection in the mirror too long, but always remember to see from both sides when you pontificate about such a matter.

Secondly, the cannabis case is rather extreme, isn't it? And actually, the supposed "worst argument" is the best argument that I think anyone could have for wanting to migrate and leave Singapore behind. The idea of a democracy, in case you haven't checked the dictionary, is for the people to vote on a leader who will lead the country and do so in the best interests of the people.

Are you telling me there are no immature and stupid people in other countries? I'm sorry, but the fact is that immaturity and stupidity are rampant in the world and they breach all barriers of race, gender, age and status. Look at yourself. Look at Ling Hui. Look at Yong Hui. Look at George Bush. Look at Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. Look at Mahadir. It's pretty obvious, ain't it?

The point is that in other countries, the government chooses to give the people the freedom to choose their fates. Whether they want to kill themselves with an overdose on cannabis or get themselves jailed due to public masturbation is up to them. It's their FREEDOM. Meanwhile, in Singapore, the government rules over us with an iron fist, wielding the anvil of law at all who dare defy the laws laid down by them. Virtually all freedom is stripped from us. Frankly speaking, between having the freedom to choose, abusing it and getting myself killed abroad and being restricted in every way and living a caged life in Singapore, I know which one I'd pick for sure.

Lastly, if you really do throw all your onions away, then God bless your immature, childish and selfish heart. The people who slave and work just to produce these onions to feed that skank mouth of yours don't mean anything, do they? Why, let's just leave them to rot and dump their stupid onions in the trash! Also, the narrow-minded definition you have of people who hate Singapore seem to be only limited to "jiak kantang"s. By this crude generalization, I get the impression you're saying that all people who wish to migrate are Westernized brats who hate Singapore. So, I suppose this would exclude the person who wants to lead a secluded life away from the city on the island of Papua New Guinea?

And guess what? I just found another reason for migrating from Singapore. PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

I shall resume all blogging activity on Monday or Tuesday. Rants tire me out.

2004-08-06T19:27:00.000+08:00

Have you ever considered becoming a body contortionist? Because you can turn your back on people with amazing speed. So do think about it as you have amazing potential for this. For the sake of everyone else, I'm not going to say anymore but expect me to stay in class during recess on Wednesday. You can go with her to recess then. Have fun! =)

Today was quite crappy. I went with Nani, Jing Pey and Jin Yong to collect old newspapers and clothings at Block 577 in the Cheng San CC Area. Going there makes me suddenly realise how grateful I am to be living in my block. Yes, I have a crazy soccer ESPN fanatic living above me and yes, there's bitchy Sherlin (who has yet to lodge a complaint to the Town Council, by the way. I guess she's scared of her mother-in-law after all) but I can live with them. For some reason beyond my understanding, the Cheng San people think it normal to grow the Amazon outside their unit in their corridor. We practically had to wade through the undergrowth to get to the doorstep of some units. Jesus. But I managed to steal a free copy of the most recent U magazine from the stack of newspapers! Auntie spirit rocks. Though the cover band was 5566. The price of being a cheapskate: you can't pick and choose the freebies.

4/2 is damn lucky, because of the horrible administration error that the school, or should I say, Madam Asnah made. Block 596A which they were assigned to was actually a carpark, meaning that they only had to cover one block before going off. Lucky ducks. The inefficiency of Anderson never disappoints, but then again, it's probably Asnah's fault. She's the only person in the world capable of misreading 'multi-storey carpark' as 'apartment block'.

I was supposed to go to Seoul Garden but some things happened so in the end I changed my mind and headed home. Got some lunch and rented Mr. Deeds to watch for the afternoon. Thanks Yuen Yin for talking to me and making me feel included and also to Aileen and Liyanah. Aileen and Liyanah would never turn their backs on anyone, not even on a poor, unkempt amputated beggar. I've always secretly harboured dislike for their criticism of me when I go overboard with my insults and sarcasm, but today, I've come to know what it feels like to be outcast. Yet, the two of them still tried to talk to me and make me feel comfortable. Love you both. I'm so sorry for all the stuff I've said about you guys. And thanks to Huey Sun and Matthew for listening to me rant and encouraging me to take it easy and calm down. And also to Yi Jun, despite what happened today and what's probably going to happen in the near future, I hope we continue to maintain our friendship, because aunties have to stick together!

Also, to all the people who scored good grades for English, like Matthew and Liyanah: congrats! I can go die la. Not even an A1. If this is going to happen during the Os, then my single hope for an A1 is gone. Hello, ITE, how do you do?

AND WE WON! WE WON! WE WON! Thanks to Qingyi, I just learnt that the underdogs of 4/3 surged forward under the radar today in the soccer match and came forward to win 4/6, with Razis and Malwin scoring one goal respectively and Annas scoring 2 goals. You guys totally rock man. And Razis, you can draw a fucking portrait on my table, I don't care. You can turn it into your art museum, because you helped us do it. Thank you thank you thank you thank you! And Annas, I take back every horrible thing I've said about you. You're great. You're like, the bomb. I promise you, if I become a journalist in the future, I will do everything humanly possible within my power to get you a guest pass on the MTV Swimsuit Illustrated 2025 Issue. And Malwin, your best present is already in your possession. I wish you two the best of luck. =D

And to 4/6: HA. HA. HA. It's cliche to say so, but the phrase "pride comes before a fall" is tailor-made for you. Don't ever underestimate the power that people, even those far inferior to you, can achieve when they put their heart into it. The point with you guys is that, you play with cold hard technical perfection but what you failed in was that you forgot to play with the passion and soul that 4/3 invested into the game. Yazid, Ruberaj, Desmond and in fact, every guy in the class (save me) put a lot of hard work and commitment into playing the game and I'm as proud of them as can be. They may not be as adroit, or agile or powerful as you but they have passion and love for their class. Victory isn't everything. Sap it up while you can.

And it's not only the people who played: your entire class has this syndrome, also in studies. You don't realize that it's pissing everyone off, even your very own Chemistry teacher when you fight for marks like nobody's business. Maybe you guys should learn about the concept of 'respect'. It goes a long way. Believe it or not, there are teachers who dislike your class. So what if you're good in studies? If you can't learn to respect people, then all your 4 years of education has gone to waste, regardless of how many straight As you score.

Also, to those stupid bitches like Ling Hui, Wan Teng, Hui Hian and co. who were shrieking their lungs to exhaustion during the match: HA. HA. You still lost! Whoo! All the "GO, 4/6!"s didn't avail your class in the end. Or maybe it was your very presence that clouded their ability to play? Heh. One look at Hui Hian, sweltering under the sun, flailing her flabby arms about, shrieking "GO 4/6!" would have shaken even the most stoic of minds.

4/3 rocks. TOTALLY. ((:

2004-08-04T18:19:00.000+08:00

Apparently Zhen Yang from the Sec 2 level has been slandering teachers and Mrs Tan in a very uncouth and uncivilized fashion (read: kinda like mine) on his blog and he has been reported to the staff for his actions. And once again, the authoritarian fist of Anderson has slammed down on it. Whatever the case, it's his blog. And if he chooses to abuse his right of the freedom of speech on it, it's his choice and he should not, in my opinion, be punished for it. Well, it won't matter anyway. This'll just go down as yet another inept and childish disclipining of a student by the highly incompetent Anderson administration. How does one inculcate the values of respecting the freedom of others when our alleged 'role models' are going in the very opposite direction? The irony of it all. And the douche bag that reported Zhen Yang? Is the idiot from choir called Abel. What an asswipe. I knew it from the moment he followed Liyanah all over the Humanities Room just for those Valentine cookies. And the time he begged and begged Nadia for a Pokey Stick. Well, it's OK, Zhen Yang, if you happen to be reading this, I give you my fullest support. Us bitchy guys have to stick together. As for Abel, you can join Ling Hui in the ditch over there.

Fahrenheit 9/11 is the movie that Michael Moore recently made denigrating and ridiculing George Bush and his administration. We should totally make one about Anderson as well, that is if we're not caught beforehand and jailed in a freezing temporary block classroom which seems to be the apparent fate for those bold enough to stand up and speak against the dictatorship of Anderson. I have a great idea. First off, we'll film those canteen vendors cooking their food. Especially the Malay Cikgu; is that woman certified to cook? I always thought malay food was delicious and savoury nasi lemak, mee rebus and mee siam , not cow grass and rocks drenched in cooking oil.

Then, we'll film 4/2's air-conditioner breaking down and maybe Chee Yao could pass out from heat stroke or something. Then we'll switch over to 4/3 where Karen is hiding in terror from a polar bear and arctic winds are blowing. Then over to 4/4, where everyone is squatting underneath the tables while clumps of plaster rain down from above. Then a quick pan across the toilets (a particularly flattering shot would be of the hose leaking and flooding the boys toilet to knee level) and a deep probage into the sewage pipes that haven't been cleaned for years: all sorts of things growing inside; fungi, algae, grotty tissue papers, a Trigonometry worksheet perhaps. And we cut directly to an innocent Andersonian girl filling up her water bottle and drinking from it. The end result of studying in such an environment would be a full pan of 4/6 doing a class dance in their stupid class tee with their repugnant Shrek headbands (quote from certain 4/6 person: "For the first 100 only!").

I can so do this directing shit. I'm like Steven Spielberg without the dinosaurs. It'd be a hit everywhere. People will flock to see Anderson 9/11. It'd outrun Titanic at the box office as the highest grossing film. Spiderman 2 and The Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King would bow to my film. I'll win a Pulitzer Prize... oh wait, those are for Books. Er, an Oscar then for Best Director.

I'm starting to get the sneaking suspicion that my computer hates me a whole lot. See here, yesterday it acted up and started showing everyone's nick as their email. So, take for example, Matthew's nick did not show up as Matticated but instead as ongmatt88@hotmail.com. Nicks are a very important part of MSN. They're the cause of a lot of animosity and controversy and conflict. My gossip industry thrives on speculating about people's nicks and I can't do that if this shit-piece-of-technology won't help me out. Anyway, long ago, I would have been majorly pissed off and threatened all sort of grievous bodily harm to my computer but now I'm halfway through with the exams and I'm going to get a new computer in a matter of months so I'm all above this now. This computer's going to be lying in a junkyard soon. But this does not negate the fact that my computer is undoubtedly the most inefficent crapola ever.

And to those people waiting for chapter 4 of the you-know-what, it'll probably be up tomorrow or a few days from now. Sorry to keep you guys waiting, but everyone in this house, including the computer itself is trying to get me off the computer, so I'm doing the best I can.

2004-08-02T17:27:00.000+08:00

Before you start pointing fingers at me for spouting bullshit, I suggest you at least read what I'm writing and think about the element of truth in it.

No one's arguing that Yu Ran is a wonky crackpot who can't keep his mouth shut (or profanity-free) for one second to save his life. That's a given already. And I very much appreciate that you and Vanessa Too showed some signs of protestation and anger at his absolutely unnecessary attack on Mei See, Mei Kuan and Yi Jun.

The point is that he called them out for making noise in the 4/3 classroom. Now, think back to last month or a few weeks ago, post Marryatville-trip. I can very clearly remember that practically the entire Drama Club gathered in my class: the 4/3 classroom, sat together in a large group and talked extremely loudly and laughed before school started. Maybe you were having so much fun "bitching" and trilling in your oh-so-fake accents and having a good time that you didn't realise everyone in my row had migrated to Jenrine's row on the other side of the class to avoid you guys. Yep, got it? We're not interested in knowing about what expensive purchase you made over the weekend or whatever TV programme you saw.

Believe it or not, there are non-drama people in 4/3 who aren't enjoying all this incredibly over the top theatrical "oh-dahhhling how luuuurrvvveeeelllyyyy it is to see youuuuuu!" antics you people are putting on. It's kinda like being locked in a car with a jet engine. And if you think I'm making this up, there're several other members of my class who can attest to this. Actually, I'm not very sure if you guys are putting on that behavior or if it's the way you truly behave but I do hope you're putting it on because if it's the way you truly behave, then that is really sorry. So don't vindicate the rest of the drama members of all the blame. I was specifically referring to the hypocrisy that you are displaying when you tell people to shut up when they laugh but you laugh and make noise yourselves in our class like it's your home. Try to spare a thought for the rest at times. How'd you like it if, say, Jenrine came into your class and started hugging and kissing Huey Sun or Ying Ying or Hui Xian and started conversing with them loudly in Hokkien?

A big sorry to Chee Kian, because I'm always leaving all sorts of weird-ass things under his table (e.g. The Straits Times, calculator, water bottle etc etc). At least I think Chee Kian sits there. I'm not very sure about the seating arrangements of 4/6 because when I walk past sometimes, it's Yong Hui and Guan Long sitting there. Yet there was this once Guang Zhi came to the table to get something. Maybe they rotate seats weekly so that everyone gets a chance to sit in front and take the most notes and answer the most questions. The most recent item I left under his desk was my calculator, which is just great, because I have a test on Relative Velocity at tuition tonight and hence, I'm unable to study for said test. Even God thinks I'm going to fail. He won't give me my calculator.

I was intending to type a long review of the horrible restaurant that I had visited today but I can't summon up enough energy to rant about that and the drama people in one entry alone. Guess I'll leave it till tomorrow.

Heh. That's what I say with my homework, which is why it never gets done.

2004-08-01T15:25:00.000+08:00

I'm currently listening to 7 Li Xiang, and with all due respect to every Jay Chou fan out there, it's just meh. The problem with Jay is that he seems to be stuck in a rut with no intention whatsoever of moving forward. He's released 5 albums up to date and I've seen little or no change from him whatsoever. His latest release yields yet another mumbly and nasal marathon which doesn't impress me one bit. That's just my opinion, though, and as proven many times, my opinion is the complete contrary of that of the listening public out there so I'm sure Jay will do wonderfully in terms of sales and popularity with this release throughout Asia.

Many thanks to Karen for lending me the F.I.R album! Well, as I said before, they're a gem in the Chinese music industry of mediocrity, and their album proves this point. Except for the songs I've heard and a few others, the rest of the album is rather meh. But "Guang Mang" is really quite nice though.

And I can already assure you that Singapore Idol will be an unmitigated disaster, judging on what I've seen on TV and in the papers of it so far. Apparently it's so incredibly bad that you can already tell who's in the Final 3 after just watching a tiny bit of it. So, it's most probable that that slightly off-key Shakira wannabe and faceless salsa song (so shoot me, I wasn't born a century ago) singer is our nation's Final 2. Wow, I just can't decide to vote for. Maybe I'll base it on who hits the most notes out of a hundred. Ten's an achievement!

So, anyway, I just remembered. I was on the bus to school last Friday morning and because nature called at a rather unfortunate time, I left the house late and boarded the crowded 88, which resulted me in having to stand on the bus in the er, standing compartment of the bus (will someone please come up with a goddamn description for those things you just can't find an expression for?). Brief sidenote here: I absolutely have to sit down when I'm on public transport, even if it's just for one stop. I can't explain it. My legs just experience this natural phenomena: walk towards nearest seat. bend. plant ass on seat. It might have something to do with the fact that if you're sitting on public transport instead of standing, chances are higher someone's armpits won't be in your face.

Alright, so anyway, I'm joined in this standing compartment (which is pretty crowded already with a bunch of Mayflower skanks, a sleepy-looking auntie clutching all of Nigeria's food supply in her hands and this woman wearing three tonnes of foundation) by Digeridoo Guy. Digeridoo Guy has a huge knapsack on his back, looks about in his mid-forties and is carrying a super-long package in his hand, or rather, both his hands. It might be a French roll, or an Iraqian nuclear missile or even, like the nickname so aptly suggests, an Australian Digeridoo. He chooses to stand in front of me which is actually fine by me because I'm only half-awake and I don't give two hoots who's standing in front of me on a bus. The bus moves, and I'm plugged into Diana DeGarmo's "I Believe" to give me enough inspiration to get through my impending day at Anderson.

Then, all of a sudden, I start to feel like a Roti Prata. It's weird. I look around. That's weird, I'm not being tossed in mid-air and I don't feel greasy. Not one bit. But I feel... squashed. I turn my head in front and come face to face with the words

BODYPAC CO.

Digeridoo's backpack is in my face. He's leaning backwards. OK, I've just woken up, I tell myself. I do not want to be involved in a catfight so early in the morning. So I just try to make myself comfortable, which is hard because I'm starting to feel the metal bar diffusing into my back. This idiot is completely unaware of the fact that he's squashing me. I remain silent for a few more seconds, cursing silently at all the Digeridoos of the world, but I can keep quiet for no longer.

"Ni yao ya si wo, shi ma?" (Translation: Do you want to squash me to death? And shut up, people whose Hanyu Pinyin is better than mine, yes, that includes you, the African with the kinky hairdo, I know my Chinese sucks, so don't remind me.)

He finally backs off and I can stand upright for a few seconds, inhaling fresh air and trying to extricate my body from the two metal railings. The Mayflower skanks around me are all snorting and I'm tempted to hit them with the Digeridoo. But unfortunately, it's my stop after this little episode and I tumble out of the bus, with Nigeria's food supply right behind me.

So the next time you decide to buy a Digeridoo and wear a huge knapsack? Take a fucking taxi.

Ta.

2004-07-30T17:11:00.000+08:00

Just got back from the career fair thing, which was totally useless and awfully organized. Can you believe Anderson had the nerve to get Sonny Lim to double as the JC Lecturer and Actor talker? I personally can't. I went for the Journalism and Law talks and both bored me to death. The "lawyer" was this woman who was a corporate lawyer who works at Mediacorp and she doesn't even go to court or have a practising license. And it turned out that practically the whole class (or rather the 18 people who bothered to show) was interested in litigation. Ah well, sucks when your school can't even fork out the money to invite a true professional litigation lawyer to have a talk. It's kind of like getting a chicken to teach a bunch of ducklings how to lay eggs. The concept is there, but everything else, especially the budget isn't. Not that you'd need a budget to lay eggs. Come to think of it, Anderson wouldn't even get a real live chicken. They'd probably get a half-priced chicken all sliced and without heads or legs from the Special Price section of Prime Supermarket.

I'm quite interested in becoming a Judge though, because it looks so fun to be able to bang your gavel on a wooden surface and say "Silence! Silence! Order in my court!". The closest I've come to that was banging that stupid squeaky toy hammer during some Lit lesson where we pretended to go to court. I was kinda disappointed to know that you can't preside over a case if you're biased, though. I was having this wonderful fantasy about sitting up there on the judge's pedestal when I'm 40 (minimum age for judge), banging my gavel and saying "Miss Toh Ling Hui, you are sentenced to lifetime imprisonment for the sole crime of existing." And note that that's when I'm 40, and Ling Hui's still a miss. Heh. Heh. Someone's not only single, ugly and left on the shelf, but single, ugly, dusty, desperate and left on the shelf.

As for the journalism talk, it was slightly better. Miss Eileen Yu really looks like her brother, especially when they laugh/smile. She's a carbon copy of him, and even their sense of humour is about the same! I can't believe she turned down an offer from 8 Days to write about pentium chips, mp3 players and electronical gizmos, though. How crazy is that? That's like turning down a roast duck in place of chicken soup.

Does anyone think I need to lay off the chicken-duck analogies?

Then before that was EFL (so I don't blog in chronological order. Sue me. And no, I don't file in chronological order, if you were wondering. Actually, I don't file. Period.) which sucked big time. Some stupid band called 19 Plus got on stage to perform a self-composed song called "Snoopy" which from what I recall, basically consisted of:

Hang On, Snoopy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Hang on,, Snoopy was yeah yeah yeah yeah
Hang on, Snoopy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

And you thought Fantasia was over the top.

Then for some inexplicable reason, which is probably the same reason anyone can find to buy William Hung's Inspiration, people started calling for an encore and the ingenius 19 Plus managed to rewrite the song in the short span of 2 seconds and they even reperformed it! The new title was "Aizat" and it went something like:

Hang on, Aizat yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Hang on, Aizat is yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Hang on, Aizat yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

So for the benefit, I've compiled a list of words which rhyme with "yeah": bleah, share, tear, fair, fare, lair, pair, debonair, air, bear. The possibilities are endless! Let your imagination soar and hopefully you can come up with a song that doesn't contain your entire range of vocabulary.

And also, these three girls got on stage to sing, er, I mean, whine out the most abysmal rendition of "When You Believe" I've ever heard in my entire life. All I can say is, if I was Mariah Carey and I heard that, I'd have to check right back into rehab. It was just depressing. There are some songs that should never be sung again and "When You Believe" is one of them. I'm not even sure if Diana DeGarmo and Jennifer Hudson combined could do it justice, let alone those three idiots who got their just desserts when the Anderson PA system caved in horribly during the performance and people started applauding during the first chorus.

The highlight of EFL, though, was undoubtedly Asnah's briefing on the National Day Newspaper Collecting Activity. She started off majorly coherent, probably because she typed out a script for herself but halfway through, it just fell apart and mistakes begin to show up. "You must mark your attendant, and tally it to the form teacher who is downstairs." Yes, Asnah talks like that. She has these empty pauses which are supposed to, I don't know, provide drama or just a break for you to floss your teeth or get a soda, but it just sounds like she has a speech impediment, which she does, so I guess it's beneficial to her in a weird sort of way. On written paper, it just looks like she kept using correction fluid and got it wrong anyway. "You had listens to I." And the slide read "Let's do together for the community." What's together? How do you "do it"?

The wonders of grammar and vocabulary never cease to amaze me.

And there was school before that, which was just blah.

I think my parents are under the impression that for every papaya cube I eat, they earn $5. It's the only plausible reason I can find as to why when I come home, they're forcefeeding me with papaya, which by the way, is the most horrible fruit ever on Earth. Coconuts kill people when they drop from trees and hit their heads. Papayas kill people when they eat them. Urgh.

2004-07-28T16:48:00.000+08:00

To Jasmine: There's no need to explain or justify yourself with me or to apologize . The bottom line is that I extremely detest you, I find you repugnant and I'm extremely glad you're not in my class. Maybe you're sorry for all the things you've done, but who cares? As long as you're away from us, I'm as happy as can be. I can't speak for the rest, but I can tell you I personally don't miss you one bit. Not at all. Go back to sticking to whichever poor soul has adopted you, or maybe your primary school friends? They might have you, even if no one else will. You'll find a home, so don't worry.

And Yu Ran? Shut Up. Actually, not only Yu Ran, to all the drama members who are noisy and irritating, shut up too. The whole lot of you. I don't care whatever it is, it's just rude and completely out of line to tell people to shut up just because they burst out into laughter while playing carom. What's worse, you didn't even do it in your class. You did it in the 4/3 Classroom. If people wish to laugh or speak, they should be free to do so. But you, you're from 5/1 and you're in our class as a visitor just like they are. You have the audacity to come to our class, call them "shitheads" and shut them up when they have fun? Even when I phrase it out and type it here, I myself can't believe how absurd it sounds.

Do the people in my class hush you and the other drama members when you guys come to our class, gather in one huge circle and talk and "bitch" and shriek loudly and behave not like the cool, fun people you think you are but more like the bunch of rowdy and puerile wankers you are? I think not. We put up with it even though we rather you take your boisterous chatter whom no one is interested in hearing OUTSIDE OF 4/3, so you jolly fucking well put up with it when people play games in their classroom and laugh. Actually, you know what? Even if Mei See, Mei Kuan and Yi Jun had wore nappies, got on all fours and bawled their lungs out, you still wouldn't have any right to stop them from doing so. Just like you can shriek your head off and publicly display your histrionics, they can burst out in laughter and play carom. Got it?

Ok, so now I'm done with my rants, I can continue with my blogging.

Thanks to inspiration from Jenrine, I've decided to start studying a chapter a day of Physics/Chemistry/Maths and keep doing the TYS for that particular chapter. Any bets on when this short-lived resolve will fizzle out?

School is pretty OK nowadays, maybe it's just because the burden of the Prep Prelims has been lifted from our shoulders but everyone seems generally relieved that the whole exam thing is behind us for now. And we're all partying. The 4/7 people are all damn funny. They somehow got hold of a mike and an amplifier and they kept blasting random announcements from their classroom throughout the day. To be honest, some of the comments were rather rude and it was kinda annoying, but in hindsight, I think it's kinda funny too. The Normal people are all damn funny. They're the only group of people who know how to let loose and go wild in our school.

And guess what? For some unknown reason, I've really grown to like Jessica Simpson. I downloaded some of her songs today, and they're actually reasonably OK! Maybe it's Newlyweds at work but I've just gotten to realise how pretty she actually is and that she has quite a fantastic upper range thanks to I Think I'm In Love With You. Or the other reason is that I have become clinically insane. She's survived the R&B and hiphop hurricane incredibly well, and her album actually debuted at #1 on the US Billboard Top 200 Albums! It's just weird, because I thought she would be the one among the 4 Pop Princesses (Christina, Britney, Mandy, Jessica) who'd crumble the most under the pressure but she's done exceedingly well. Way to go, Jessica!

It's funny how you can pretend to be the moral paragon of sense and righteousness condemning others for their wrongdoings when I know what you've been saying behind my back. If some people knew the things you said about them, they'd be equally horrified too.

Yuen Yin and Ying Ying totally crack me up. They keep coming to our class to hide out with Jenrine because 4/2's air-con broke down yesterday and it still wasn't up today and they totally dug their heels in even during Class Interaction when Thomas Tan had already arrived and absolutely refused to go back to their class.

Oh yeah, and I reverted to the old temp layout for a while because the new one fucked up when I tried to change it. Everything just disappeared. Blogger sucks. Vanessa, if you see this, could you get online tomorrow at around 4 or 5 + and send me the HTML for your layout? I forgot to save it in my comp. Or if it's not too much trouble, help me put it back can? Thanks ar!

This is one of those non-inspirational days again. I'll just end off here.

2004-07-27T18:35:00.000+08:00

Clarification

Christie, this entry is for you. I've already tagged at your blog and I still feel the need to explain. So like I said, I'm "the source" that Chee Yao has. I knew you were sore at some of the ex 2/1 guys for the Biology project thingy and I assumed that you were shooting them so I asked Chee Yao if they had offended you and directed them to your blog to read your entry. It's my fault, ya? So if anyone should be blamed for miscommunicating or assuming things, it's ME. Not him or his gang.

Also, the way you spoke about them made me think they were a clique. But the people who you were actually shooting don't normally hang in a group together. They do, sometimes. But they don't stick together. The only guy group from 2/1 is Antarctica, which is why I thought of them as your targets. Turns out I was wrong. My apologies.

I'd like to point out that Chee Yao has indeed apologized for this matter as well on his blog.

Whatever the case, I hope this matter blows over because it's causing a lot of discomfort. I suggest you leave them alone and that they leave you alone in return and that both sides get on with their lives. Thanks.

[Also, this is my personal opinion but I feel your entry is rather harsh and uncalled for. Whether you choose to discount this opinion is entirely up to you. Have a good day.]

2004-07-26T17:12:00.002+08:00

I love my new layout completely because it totally rocks my socks! Thanks Vanessa for all the hard work you put into it, I totally dig it! It's so morose and depressing and I think that is totally me. Although, I observe, for someone who's supposed to be wallowing in grief and stuff, I sure do seem very happy. Well, I don't know what you're supposed to do to show you're depressed. I'm not very into histrionics (there are people much better than me), neither do I dig the whole suicide thing or crying. Crying is dumb. No wonder Anqi does it all the time. She's a dumbass too. I'll come up with something equally convincing.

Oh yeah, I heard about an alligator getting rejected recently. Waha, serves him right completely! Heh. Well, anyway, it's been scientifically proven that humans and alligators can't be involved romantically. Just look at Lake Placid.

Eh, today was pretty OK, actually. I wasn't in much of a mood to do any studying and neither it seemed, was anyone. There's never really much of a studying mood in 4/3 at any time of the year, actually. We had Geography for the first lesson. Mdm Hasniza is one damn funny woman. She's just so lazy. She kept trying to argue with us that the standard short form for "higher" is "hier" and she wrote the short form for outbreak as "o/b". And she still hasn't returned us the holiday homework from aeons ago. It's no wonder they assigned her to us. It takes a slob to understand another slob, or rather 36 slobs, but we love her totally. Then there was Chemistry when our class was informed by Mrs Huhyn that we were a very emotional class and that our titration results somehow tied in with people breaking things in the lab. Er, OK. Anyway, I did pretty badly for my Chemistry Practical, so whatever. But her surreptitous methods of "cheating" in practicals was quite funny though. During Lit we watched some stupid "Romeo and Juliet" video that was filmed and released during the Dinosaur Age, which means it's probably about as old as Goh. All these people were running around fighting each other with swords in the most awful spandex costumes I've ever seen. If I was wearing something like that, I'd be running for my life instead. And they all ran away when a bunch of Wan Tengs... er, I mean, horses galloped into the town square. It was idiotic. And I didn't even see Romeo. Or Juliet, for that matter. Maybe they got sick of all these people and eloped on a ship to somewhere exotic like Namibia. Wait, is Namibia situated inland? Well, a hot air balloon then. The point is, the film, or rather the 20 minutes we saw of it, sucked.

We had recess, which was fun as usual, especially without Jasmine around sucking all the fun out of it. Then there was Social Studies with the incorrigible Mr Neo. Nothing much happened, just that we all took turns to take potshots, or should I say, potato-shots at him. Even Nani joined in the fun, though God knows what she was doing with a French dictionary in the first place. And English was alright, except for the fact that our whole batch (4/2, 4/3 and 4/6) fared abysmally for the Prep Prelims, according to the teachers. And also, Kwok talked a bit about Super Size Me (that film during McDonald's) during the lesson, and actually I did want to add that the main character's girlfriend was a vegan chef and everything but I just decided to hush down and tell Liyanah about it only. I made sure I talked very softly, I mean, this is probably the first time 4/6 ever heard of a movie in like, 10 years. And speaking of ten years, Mr Kwok pointed out that you can't prepare for English by doing the TYS. Hah! Heard that, twits? Also, we went through some of the answers and unsurprisingly, the people who put "important' for question 2 were wrong. Mr Kwok was saying that it would be forgivable if anyone put down any other word in the paragraph other than "important" as the important word. I'm not very sure about that. With the exception of Asnah, I'd be quite worried if someone put down "Pakistan" as the important word. Oh, and Jasmine sat with Marian. She's seriously pathetic. I mean Jasmine, not Marian. Marian can be pretty nice actually, when she's not being loony over Kwok and acting sexy (which is probably only when she's asleep, but whatever). But Jasmine is just irritating and extra and chaps my ass completely. She's sticking to Choon Heng like bees to honey nowadays, probably because there's no one else she can go to anymore, seeing as how every group she tries to ingratiate herself into has in one way or another uncermoniously given her fat rancid ass the boot. I know it's none of my business, but look at the way she blogs. God! Dere's onlie as much as of dis sort of typing as u can take, u noe =P n personally i dun tink it's very cute too! wheex! ^.^

There's tuition later. How sickening. I hate my teacher to the core. Ducky sucks. -_-"

As for the thing on Christie and Chee Yao's blogs, it's an unfortunate misunderstanding and caused by unfortunate timing of events. The disasters that miscommunication can wreck. This is why we're always getting Asnah to speak English, I mean, speke Inglese. I have this wild ominous vision that if the school is on fire, she'll be assigned to call up the Fire Station and while the compound gets razed to the ground while a bewildered group of fire engines turn up outside Henderson Secondary. Anyway, I suggest you both kiss and make up. Or if you want something less personal, maybe you should shake hands or something. Or even, just lay the matter to rest. Cheers!

2004-07-25T19:24:00.000+08:00

hey!
finally done with your layout.
hope it's depressing enough LOL.
um sorry it's kinda plain.. but as always. vkxm inc. is open for any comments! ((:
and if you dont like it, no worries! i have ur old html saved in my computer. yepp.
see ya!

I Believe in Neighborly Distress

2004-07-24T21:34:00.000+08:00

For updates on my computer which no one is interested in except myself, the mouse is finally working and the layout's back up and running so to those people who use my blog as a street directory to find other Andersonian blogs: have a good time blogsurfing! I'll just sit here, straining my brain to write an entry full of humour and sarcasm in an attempt to entertain you, deluded into thinking that you're actually reading my blog while you're toying with my feelings and happily reading someone else's blog. How can you even live with yourself? Also, in an interesting turn of events, scientists estimate that my monitor will continue giving out light for the next 550 milleniums or so before burning out. How lovely.

I didn't do anything much today, except for slack around, plan more stuff and steadfastly ignore the piles of TYS and books sitting around my room. I intend to give myself the week off and then start cramming for the Os which are coming in 4 months time. The way I see it, this is the calm before the deadly storm besets us. The short-lived peace before the shutters lift up on the morning of the Great Singapore Sale. The ominous silence in the lift before someone breaks out with a tremendous odorous fart. Ok, so maybe I'm getting carried away here but I'm nervous, dammit. Look at me, I'm a F9 waiting to happen. I know nothing about carboxylic acids. If you put me in a circle sector, I'd probably get lost in it instead of finding its area. And even if you gave me a map, I wouldn't be able to find my way out too. I.have.no.map.reading.skills. And I still think Alpha is the twitty little robot on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.

Everyone's changed so much lately, it's like I got moved to a different planet altogether. No one's behaving like they're normal. Well, except for Ling Hui because she was that deranged and disgusting to start with. There's so much snapping, so much fights and so much backstabbing going on. I thought I was the only person involved in that shit but it looks like everyone's catching onto it. Exam tension, perhaps? Or is it just that the innate demons within us are all slowly but surely being unleashed?

The Shopaholic series rock! Thanks Vanessa and Sharon for lending me the books! Oh, and Mei Kuan for loaning me "Can You Keep A Secret" too, though I haven't read it yet. Sophie Kinsella has a completely different style from Janet Evanovich but I love her all the same. It's really nice and a change to read about Becky because her life is even more messed up than mine.

My neighbor has issued a warning to my mother to tell me to stop playing music so loudly on the stereo system (better known as Sophia) in our house or she'll complain to the Town Council, and I don't know, can you get evicted from your apartment for playing "I Believe" on loop? As for the Sophia part, it's not my neighbor's name. It's my stereo system's name. It's a long story. Refer to one of my diaryland entries on the suckage of my discman to get the lowdown. My neighbor is called Sherlin, I think. She's in her early forties, and she tries to hide her facelifts even though they're painfully obvious and she once flirted with the postman by inviting him in for a cup of coffee. My, my, someone sure has a vibrant sex life. She's got two bratty kids who're in Marymount Convent and a husband that looks like he's blind because he's got such tiny slits for eyes (no, I don't have anything against people with tiny slits for eyes. I don't hate Jin Yong. I don't hate Sandy Lam. But I do hate Edwin Wong, though that's most probably because he's a repulsive pissant) and is most probably blind, because... look what he married. She's also got a nightmarish mother-in-law who she bitches about all the time to her friends and even her neighbors (my mother included).

And she can complain that I make a racket! Hah! I don't even say anything when her stupid kids run between the 6th and 9th level playing Catching on the landing and shriek so incredibly loudly. Anyway, just now, in a declaration of war, I blasted the living hell out of poor Sophia with the left-right Fantasia-Diana remix version of "I Believe" in my house. And if she pulls that Town Council shit on me, I'll talk to her mother-in-law if, oh, I mean, when I accidentally bump into her in the lift. That old bag will believe anything negative about Sherlin.

"Auntie, ni de xi fu shuo ni mei ci dou yao guan ni er zi de shi qing".
"Auntie, ta jiang ni mei ci dou chong huai ta de hai zi".
"Auntie, ni de xi fu gen na ge ji xin de ren gou san da si".

It's a perfect plan.

Temporary Layout

2004-07-23T23:10:00.000+08:00

Due to my inherent inability to get along with computers, my mouse has fucked up, the layout went bonkers yesterday and I am currently in a terrible mood, as opposed to most of the time which is when I'm in a bad mood.

Anyway, this layout is only temporary until VKXM Inc gives me the kick-ass one that's under construction.

If something in my house works for once, I'll update later.

Attention Yong Hui, you are not funny. Attention, Ling Hui, you are ugly. Attention, you both, you suck.

2004-07-23T21:27:00.000+08:00

First off,a huge salute to VKXM Inc* which is making my new layout. I bet it's gonna be great ((:. Thanks Vanessa! I can't wait to see what magic you're going to weave with your HTML prowess.

Ah, I don't know what to do anymore. I tried to explain myself and I really tried to salvage what was left of our relationship but if there's no sign of response, maybe I should just stupidly stop trying. I was stupid to think it would work.

Went to watch Mean Girls today with Haryati, Syaf and Nadia! The show totally rocked, though I had expected a teeny bit more from it as it got rave reviews from practically everyone in our school who caught the movie. But I don't know, I didn't really think the things that did were all that diabolical, although I have to admit that casting Rachel McAdams as the rigid and popular Plastic bitch ringleader from school was a fantastic move. She really plays to her full potential when she does roles like that. Tina Fey wrote a brilliant script with plenty of unforgettable one-liners ("I think I have a fifth scene, like, I'm psychic. I've got like, ESPN, you know?") and it really plays up well on screen.

Forget Hilary Duff. In the fickle world of teenage film icons it would appear that Lindsay Lohan has not only surpassed Duff but left poor Hilary eating her dust in the process. Just from reading the tabloids one could say Ms. Duff should be more concerned about that fact than whether Miss Lohan is dating her ex-boyfriend. Beginning with her appearance in Disney's remake of The Parent Trap, Lohan has shown that she can not only carry a film but has the ability to turn them into minor hits in the process. In The Parent Trap, she was able to play a dual role almost flawlessly. In Freaky Friday, she was required to take on the characteristics of an adult and handled it quite well. Having done two remakes, she then went into un-chartered territory with the original films Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and her most recent outing Mean Girls. Confessions died a quick death at the box office, while Mean Girls has gone on to become a minor hit having accumulated 82 million in receipts and still counting with only a seventeen million production budget. Lindsay is truly without a doubt the winner in the film. She delivers a fantastic performance, going from unassuming quiet newcomer to snotty, bitchy cheerleader.

But the only thing that annoyed me was that there was these two RGS girls who were sitting next to me during the movie and they kept making a lot of bimbotic comments which were totally un-funny and irritating. For one thing, they actually were stupid enough to think that Amanda Seyfield was Drew Barrymore. And for another, god, that laughter! It was so incredibly fake and grating, and when Jonathan Bennett appeared on screen, I could feel the two of them melting into a pool beside me. Get a grip! It's not as if he'd want you, your ugly braces and inherent inability to correctly recognize famous actresses. Girls schools are always sexually deprived. I knew it right from the moment when I stepped into that match with SCGS. Those people make Ling Hui look tame.

And speaking of Ling Hui, her outfit sucked ass today. Don't you just love the things you can do with a potato sack and some imagination? Maybe she was wearing it to make a certain fashion statement. If so, that statement was probably "I SUCK", in which case I have to congratulate her because she did a wonderful job of it. In case no one saw it, she was dressed up in this hideous red sleeveless dress with her flabby arms wobbling all over the place. And as if there was not enough, she just had to lift up her arms and grace us with the sight of her armpits, which in all honesty looked more like coconuts. The rest of her loser gang? Weren't faring any better either. Hui Hian was decked out in a hideous white dress which showed off a belly the size of Siberia. Jingying, well, Jingying doesn't even need to wear anything to make herself look ugly. Her face does it all for her. It's like the Nirvana of Bad Fashion: you don't have to wear anything to make yourself hideous, you just are. The precious lesson to learn from all this is that when you have grotesque body parts not suitable for viewing, it's best to cover up. Ling Hui should have covered her arms, Hui Hian her belly and Jingying, well, Jingying just shouldn't have showed up. Period.

If you think I'm going to say anything positive about Racial Harmony Day, you can think again. Because it's not gonna happen. Anderson retains the unique ability to be able to turn even a fun celebration into a suckfest. For one thing, the MCs weren't exactly rousing the crowd with their jokes. Also, what was with those silly 1/8 skanks flailing their arms about to techno music? Not only did they look ridiculous, they were also strangely irrelevant. How does a techno Beng Anthem relate to the theme of racial harmony? And I'm sorry, but inviting the Japanese to the school was undiplomatic, especially, you know, considering the fact that they INVADED us and massacred everyone, regardless of race and religion. And also, a good indication that all is not going well with your celebration would be that people are more interested in a bunch of workers cleaning the HDB rooftop than it. Everything was, as usual, in a sorry state. I'm not even going to bring up the mortifying "Idol" competition or "The more we get together".

The fire drill was pathetic. Why couldn't we have assembled in the carpark? Why did we have to hike a whole mile or so to the carpark behind the school block? Excuse me, but I think the general idea during a fire is to quickly evacuate everyone in an orderly fashion as far away from the facility as possible. Had it been a real fire, we'd all have been razed to the ground already along with the building, not that it's really that much of a loss. And I seriously don't know what Major Chong's problem is. Actually, I do. He needs to work on his phrasing real bad. "We are in the public and they can see us"? First off, it's an insult to the residents of the neighborhood to say that they've got nothing better to do that sit around and watch us conduct our stupid fire drill in the early noon. Secondly, we're also in full view when we assemble in the school carpark so does it make a fucking difference?

And just when you think nothing could be more pathetic, along comes Yong Hui and his dumbarse remarks. Yeah, truly dumbarse. They're enough to render anyone dumbfounded. He is living proof that man can live without a brain and without a sense of humour. Let me just quote him to prove my point. See, I don't even need to embellish his statements to make them sound stupid, they're just that tasteless and redundant.

[About the Celebration] "Everyone, take off your shoe and throw it at them on the count of 3!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAAA. HAA. HA.

[Centuries after someone else had made the "You Jump, I Jump" joke regarding the construction workers on the rooftop] "Eh, like Titanic like that! You Jump, I Jump!" HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAAAA. HAAA. HAA. HA.

What a moronic twit.

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending.

This song rocks.

A Big Hole looming over Antarctica, and it's not the ozone. No, it's not Hui Hian either.

2004-07-22T16:19:00.001+08:00

As soon as I touched the keyboard, I knew today was gonna be one of those strictly humor-free days, because I deleted the first sentence I wrote at once, which is never a good sign. The times when I delete my first sentences always mean the beginning of a really really bad entry. So I'll try to do the best with what I can today, but you'll have to forgive me my writer's block. What's writer's block, you ask? Writer's block is something all people get. You know, when you just sit there, stare at your paper and have no idea what to write on it. Mostly, people get it with their composition. Me, I get it with my Maths, my Chemistry, my Physics, and just about everything else. And no Hui Hian, unlike blocks of chocalate, they can't be eaten, which would explain why you're not a fabulous writer.

School was quite fun today, I think everyone basically slacked the whole way through. We should have just not gone to school at all. I mean, 4/3 did nothing for the entire day. We just sat around in class until the bell rang. We should have more of these type of days and not those schedules chock full of idiotic periods like A Maths, Social Studies and EFL.

And Blue split. No, not the color, dumbass, the band. Though you're probably forgiven in thinking that it's the color because the last time Blue had a hit was in late 2002 with Fly By. I hardly even remember what they look like now. And from what I'm told, it seems they're all intending to go solo. Hah! I'm telling you, boyband solo careers have an average lifespan of 2 seconds in today's music industry. It's just a joke to hope to succeed if you're launching your career from a boyband. Gone are the days when the separate members of New Kids On The Block succeeded in their individual ventures. And even so, the likes of Jordan Knight and Joey McIntyre has been long forgotten. The only person who launched his career and is still around is Robbie Williams and that's because he sang the theme song for "Finding Nemo". When you stoop to counting on marine animals to keep your singing career afloat, it's time to consider another field of work. (By the way, if you're wondering why I didn't mention Justin Timberlake, that's because his career was practically launched from a high-profile relationship with Britney Spears, which by the way, is the only thing that can possibly be outlasted by a solo boyband member's career)

Right, I guess I'll just say this in Antarctica's defense: from the size of their clique and the people inside, it could be much worse. Their egos are not completely out of control (there's worse. Look at those from my old class *cough*4/5*cough*) and while their mere size is enough to qualify them as school bullies, they're not. They're a pretty harmless group of people who content themselves in making lame jokes, smart-ass wisecracks and bitching about others. In other words, they're kinda like everyone else (except the Miasma). And as for talking like they're kings? Antarctica hardly talks. It's possible that they speak about less than 8 sentences in total a day. Some of them especially make Helen Keller look like a chatterbox. As for strutting, they tend to swarm because of their size as a group, and from the Antarcticans that I know, they don't strut. I've seen them walk as a group and they don't. It's slightly intimidating actually, but as long as you leave them alone, it's hardly likely that they'd intentionally get in your way to irritate you. They have little care for the lives of others. And they carry pink pencil cases. No self-respecting egomaniac would carry a pink pencil case. Ever. I didn't see any in 2/5, so trust me. Just my two cents' worth.

But perhaps the Antarctica hate is not completely unfounded, and this i attribute to Yong Hui's presence in their group. That noisy fucker can't keep his mouth for one second and he's got an ego the size of Texas too. Having a big ego is one thing, but having the looks to back it up is quite another. And considering the fact that Yong Hui seems to have more or less lost terribly at the genetic lottery (certainly shows, doesn't it?), I don't see what right he has to behave like a total jerk-off. Oh, he's from 4/6. Ahh, I get it now.

I'm sorry, I can't just talk and act normal around people who prioritize their friendships with someone they've known for barely 2 years over than their friendship with me. I seriously thought I was more important. Guess I thought wrong, eh? I like having recess with some of our group members though, so I'll just stick around. But it's OK, we can act like we don't know each other very well. That's fine with me too. Also, I highly resent being made use of when no one is there for you, so you come and talk to me and stuff. I'm not a toy for you to play with when you're feeling bored and throw aside when you've got other things to do. Maybe you can purchase something in the toys department at a mall. I know some cheap bargains going at only 5 bucks. That's how much I'm worth to you, right? And don't bother asking me about whether I'm talking about you or why I'm saying stuff like this. For one thing, it's my blog and i can air my personal thoughts here. For another, you should be able to draw your own conclusion. If you think it's you, it's probably a guilty conscience, so, whatever.

Thanks Huey Sun, Ying Ying, Jenrine, Jie Ying and Yi Jun for the support today. I really appreciate it, ya? =)

2004-07-20T21:32:00.000+08:00

It's a good thing that I didn't blog yesterday. I was actually planning to talk about the horrors of the Japanese music scene because I mistakenly thought that some idiotic Japanese pop star had rehashed Cyndi Wang's not-so-long-ago hit "Ai Ni". But as it turns out, it was actually the other way round, so I saved myself a whole lot of embarrassment. Heh heh. I even had some sarcastic remarks all typed out specially for them, but it'll just have to wait till I get my facts right. But who cares anyway, right?Be it Cyndi Wang or Idiotic Japanese Pop Star singing that song, I still think it's absolute crapola. English music is the best. Watch this space for more on the glory of English music and the suckage of Chinese/J Pop when I have nothing to blog about.

The Prep Prelims are finally over! Yayyy! But there're still the Prelims and the Os. Ah well, we plan, God laughs. Typical. Anyway, taking advantage of today's early release, Jenrine, Huixian, Huey Sun and I hit Orchard to er, get something, and we saw a hell lotta people there. Anthony and Wenjie were hanging around doing nothing, Clarissa, Amanda, Cynthia and Carrie were happily trying on all sorts of cosmetics and stuff there. Christie and Siew Han were heading off somewhere while Matthew and some other 4/4 people were at Cineleisure. And from what I heard, both Christie and Siew Han and Matthew's group abandoned Hong Kai. Heh. I think it's really rude to invite yourself along on outings that no one asked you to (like Jasmine). But it's even worse to go to those that people have explicitly stated that they don't wish for you to be there. And to say that you hope some people won't be there? Do you see yourself as an asset to their group? Yeah, you sure are, just take off the last two letters. That's what you really are.

And as for what happened today during the shopping, I'm sorry but I think Huey Sun has a point in what she wrote. You two just stuck together and kept talking and left her alone in the scintillating company of me. And it's just not the same, you know? After all, I'm still a guy and she's a girl and girls love to bitch and hang with their fellow girls. I know Huey Sun has her mood swings sometimes, but this is not a mood swing or anything. It was kinda clear that you two just kept talking and hanging out with each other, even though you did toss her the occasional sentence.

I hope this was unintentional... and maybe it's not in my place to say anything because I'm not part of your clique and I only went because we had to get the thing, but that's what I feel. Sorry again.

Waha, managed to steal some more graph paper from the school! No one can stop a runaway cheapskate, not even the most military, authoritarian and pedantic math teacher in school. And stop sniggering, graph paper is hard to come by nowadays, really. Buying a whole pad of it just because you need a few pieces every now and then is ridiculous. And the school's graph paper even comes with its very own punched hole! How cool is that? I can even lift it up and see through it and everything. Oh, I forgot. I'm not supposed to lift it up during the exam to look at it. Just another excerpt from Tan Teck Poh's self-penned, limited edition of My 5 Million Exam Rules. Because, you know, everyone's just dying to copy Jian Xuan's graph, despite the fact that he got 10 for A Maths last term.

Alright, gotta go GB! If I'm in the mood, I'll update more tonight...

Fall To Pieces

2004-07-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

I'm not that depressed anymore.

As long as I do what I like and think what I want, I should be able to lead a carefree life. Everything else? Heck la.

Off to wander. Ta~

If you're done admiring yourself, can you stop hogging the mirror? Because I gotta floss and my dental plaque is cuter than you.

2004-07-18T21:46:00.000+08:00

You know, I wasn't intending to blog today at all but some events that have conspired recently just pissed me off too much for me not to rant.

First off, I'd like to direct you to the mirror. No, not your kitchen sink. Your mirror. You know, the one you look into about at least a dozen times a day and, strike your lovely coquettish pose and say "Oh! Look at me! I'm so cute!". Now tear off that picture of Keira Knightley you have stuck on it and look closely. Those fugly features? Those stupid tiny slits you have for eyes? That uber-bitch face? That's you. Not the facade you've been putting onto the world for ages.

It's people like you who obstruct the course of the ideals of true love and passion and our hopes for an egalitarian society. Your obstinate conviction that rich people should stay in the upper class and us lowlives should remain in the lower class is utterly distasteful not to mention narrow-minded. So what if you've got a fucking condominium? So what if you wear Converse, breathe Gucci, eat Ripcurl and piss Billabong? I don't have more than 5 dollars in my wallet each day (by the way, my Wallet is some unknown brand called OCPanic which I got cheap at a pasar malam. I bet that word is new to you, considering you don't look at anything which is below 20k) and I dine at hawker centres but I have respect, a sense of belonging and I don't ignore people because I find it beneath my status to talk to them, which is more than can be said for you, you subhuman joke without a punch line Maybe it's not your fault; not enough love from your mom - God help her $2 ass, so you have regressive tendencies and you want to exclude people to make them feel unloved too.

Ok, so, let me just pose a tiny question. Why that number? Is it because that's the number of sticks you've got up your ass? Or are you going to perform some sacrosanct ritual so you can achieve the status of demi-goddess so that you can be above all of us serfs both socially and literally? Or is it the only number you can count to? The possibilities are endless, and so my dear, is your arrogance.

And also pardon me, but I think the idea of going to that place is to have as much fun as possible in the sand and sun. It's supposed to be the more the merrier, though that notion seems to have drifted clean over your tiny little airhead. Maybe one day if you stop living in your apartment size ego, you should be able to find it. This matter doesn't involve or affect me but I just find your "selection process" of people whom you deem worthy of hanging out with extremely appalling and obnoxious and repugnant.

My impression of you and your clique has been utterly wrecked and destroyed. I appreciate the fact that you're entitled to do whatever you like, because you probably own half the shares in Versace and you're a spoilt disgusting brat who's been getting her way since Day One but I still think you should be tied to the bumper of an off-roader and dragged across the cactus-filled wastelands of Arizona. Have a nice day at that place you're going to! =)

Blood is thicker than water, and so are my entire family, than 72 planks of wood.

2004-07-17T21:18:00.000+08:00

I have Diana*'s single! I have it! I have it! Well, technically, I don't, but I have all the songs on it! And she just blows Fantasia's overglorified caterwauling out of the water on "I Believe". I can't believe 19E fucked it up again and cut her short by one entire verse. Well, it's OK though because she still sounds worlds better than BEST.IDOL.EVAH, who by the way sold a measly 144000 copies of her new single. Quantity is not quality. Just look at Hui Hian. That should prove said point. And if anyone wants to listen to any of Diana*'s songs, feel free to MSN me for them. I already sent them to Jenrine, and she absolutely loves them. Doesn't she? Doesn't she? Well, not as much as the Catholic High guy, but she does love them to a certain extent. Is it me or did that sentence just reek of Social Studies? Eeeyeww.

Oh, and I linked Maddox on my Pluggage section too. He's really funny. And he's much better than the overhyped Xiaxue. Much, much better. For starters, he doesn't have to stoop to talking about his underwear, or his armpit hair or his sexual tendencies regarding elephants to elicit laughs from his audience. And for the main course, he's far more eloquent, bitchy and sarcastic. And for pudding, he's American. Yes, Jin Yong, you can shut up now before I bitchslap you in the face with the American flag while breaking out into a rousing rendition of "America The Beautiful". I like all things associated with America (except perhaps Nelly). Deal with it. Blame it all on the fact that the funniest show on current Singaporean TV is News 5 Tonight.

Also, I've been trying to solve Chee Yao, or more accurately, Benjamin's riddle on why he won't make friends with the enigmatic Mian. See, Mediacorp? If you produced better shows, I could be a couch potato, but instead I'm sitting around here doing this instead which just goes to show the failures of local TV. But I totally don't get it at all. Other than the fact that you can eat Mian and you can eat Seoul Garden, what relevance is there between the two? And what do maths have to do with Mian? Is Mian a pain in the ass too? The soundwave theory I get, but the 4th riddle is bewildering and a tad weird. He's actually comparing his object of affections to a green paper bill. Er, Ok.

I've also decided that I officially hate family gatherings. I really do. People who have not met me for donkey years, do not presume to tell me what I am and what I am not. The only reason why I even bother to turn up is because we usually go to restaurants with really good food. So, I usually go with my handphone and discman in tow, all ready to sit out an evening of torment and stuff my face with sweet and sour pork when some stupid crone (usually my mother's third cousin's brother's neighbour's sister's friend's internet date) comes up to me and says something really intelligent and constructive like "Wah, so tall liao ar! Hao Jiu Bu Jian (Long Time No See)!". To which, I'd really like to respond "Yup, hard to believe, isn't it? Because the last time you saw me I was a Lilliputian at the height of 1.69 m, so I guess that extra 0.3 m I gained turned me into the Petronas Twin Towers. By the way, is the rumor that you pretended to be a gynaecologist to hook up with my mother's third cousin's brother's neighbour's sister's friend true or do you just have a penchant for looking at women's privates? Maybe that's why we don't see much of each other. because you're busy peering up someone's cervix."

The next horror are the brats. You know the type. The moronic twats, usually ranging from 4 to 7 who are at this point in their life infatuated with The Power Rangers, Beyblade, Let's And Go and whichever cartoon is showing on the 1030 AM slot on Kids Central. Also, the other thing they're infatuated in is to annoy the living hell out of any living human being within a 2 mile radius, and I happen to fall victim. I am pestered continously to "be Green Ranger, Gor Gor!" or to "Let it RIIIIPPP!" . If I let it rip, these idiots wouldn't be alive for very much longer, but I digress. Yes, I understand they're just kids and that they love to play. But, as you can see, I'm actually listening to my discman here and am being interrupted after every 10 seconds into the song, so just keep them off me, would you? There must be someone else they can ask to play Power Rangers with them, like the waiter over there idling at the counter since he is obviously not catching my eye and is seemingly oblivious to the fact that I need my orange juice glass refilled.

Then because it's a wedding reception, there are the abysmal entertainment programmes to pass the time and also distract everyone from the restaurant's incompetence in serving the food close to 1 hour late. It seems like there's some kind of rule forbidding anyone under the age of 40 and who can sing in tune to perform at wedding parties (Did Madonna use to sing at wedding parties? She certainly fits the bill), which basically is an extended invitation to all the old fogeys who have been secretly honing their karaoke skills at the local CC to embarrass themselves in front of a mortified audience (or what's left of it). Hits from Fei Yu Qing, Feng Fei Fei, Wan Fang and all the singers who are mostly dead but of which some are still unfortunately and miraculously still alive come on the system and give me a splitting headache because not even my discman at full blast is enough to shut out the sound of someone murdering a Hokkien song at 580 decibels.

Ok, so we finally end the torture and move on to the eating. So I flip off my discman and dig in. But do I get any peace? No. As I am of reasonable size and weight, the morons who are sitting at my table (and obviously misplaced their prescription glasses) suddenly get the impression that I'm anorexic and attempt to feed me with everything from oatmeal prawns to drunken chicken feet to roasted gym sock (Ok, not really, but you obviously haven't tried boiled sea asparagus) . I am tempted to deliver two tight slaps to each of them and demonstrate that I have limbs and am able to retrieve whatever food I want by MYSELF.

So, the next time I decide to turn up for a family gathering, I'll need

a) a helicopter to airlift me out of there once Aunt Baoqing (who apparently considers herself the next A*Mei and is solitary in that opinion) takes the stage
b) Madam Asnah as my personal anti-infant bodyguard
c) headphones that shut out all outside noise
d) a metal bar so I can perform gymnastics for the people at my table to fascinate them with the little titbit of information that I HAVE HANDS AND LEGS!
e) Ling Hui to show my mother's third cousin's brother's neighbour's sister's friend that internet relationships are highly hazardous.

Oh wait, I forgot. There won't be a next time.

Puns, Spoofs and Good Jokes

2004-07-16T16:21:00.000+08:00

Just when I seriously think about giving up on this and returning to Diaryland, Blogger pops out with a brand new HTML editor with all these fabulous shortcuts and font customizing junk. Lovely. Now I can do this and THIS and this. In addition to that, I'm able to add my entry when I want to. Dear Diary (land), your butt is getting kicked so bad it's making me cry.

Eh, Physics was actually OK, but I was really confused when I added up all the questions I was slightly confident of getting correct and discovered that it all added up to 81, which was an A1. I looked about for a flying pig but there was none. (Although there was one called Ang walking about in front, does that count?) Anyway, my hopes were later dashed when I found out that the test was actually upon 120. But 81 upon 120 is still a pretty good pass, so I'm fine with that. Oh yeah, and thanks Grace for the good luck wish, I think it really had some effect!

Went to Mac's with Mei Kuan and Yi Jun after the exam and we had a pretty fun time discussing and bitching about everything under the sun. I passed on a few bits of delicious gossip regarding the school and the office politics among the teachers and then we continued talking about toilet incidents and Mei Kuan totally cracked us up when she regaled us with the episode in which her brother er, excreted in his pants and the shit fell out halfway in school during PE. I could totally imagine it falling out halfway through starjumps. "and a 1! and a 2! and a 3! and a 4! and a... SHIT!". LOL. And Yi Jun and I came up with a few more good jokes* . I love talking to those two girls, they're really cool and fun bitching companions, which is more than I can say for some people. *insert Karen's ultimate roll-model*

The only fly in the ointment is that we ran into the Miasma there. Thankfully, they sat somewhere where we didn't have to look into their fugly wretched faces. Linghui's face would have turned my Ice Milo sour completely. And that's getting off easy. I heard it once turned Medusa into stone. Maybe that was why we didn't finish the McNuggets and French Fries we ordered. Who'd have an appetite to eat after looking at her? It's funny, I didn't know McDonald's allowed dogs in their restaurants, and even let them sit on perfectly clean human seats too, what a shame.

Haryati and Ferlin are just damn funny. They totally rock! The two of them should be spokespeople for the Fashionably Late campaign for Singapore if we ever have one. I loved the way they cruised into the hall and slid into their seats while breaking the rules . And simply for defying the moronic Tan Teck Poh, they earn another point with me as well. Rock on, babes! Oh yeah, and the reason I hate Tan Teck Poh is because he stopped me from "kop"ing extra graph and writing paper today. He's under arrest for violation of the 53rd Amendment of the Singapore Auntie Constitution. "Thou shalt not stop an auntie from engaging in transport of stolen, free or haggled merchandise to its destination". But we'll just let him off this time, because I have already managed to steal about 20 sheets of writing paper and I still have another chance to steal free graph paper during next week's E Maths Paper 2 Exam.

I've said it once and I'll say it again. The Amazing Race is definitely the best reality TV show ever, even better than American Idol. The racing, the drama, the suspense, the tension, it's all there. Charla and Mirna are really cheap for working the dwarf factor to their advantage, but I like cheap. Heh. By the way, is there a politically correct term out there for the people who are of Charla's stature? I really have no idea if it's supposed to be "dwarf" or "midget" or "small person" or "Balachandran". One of these days, I'll use the wrong term on someone and end up with teeth wounds in my knees.

Linda and Karen (the bowling moms) are kind of funny too. I loved that moment when Linda hooted to Karen that "[she] outsmarted a cow!" In all honesty, it's nothing to be proud of, but self-deprecation is high on my list. Though she kind of made it sound like they had been outsmarted a cow before, and seriously, I just don't want to think about that. Cows aren't even all that good at bowling, what with having 4 limbs and everything. And screwing over the military dad and his snotty daughter for currency? Was just priceless. Also, the irony of having a military dad who injured his leg within the first ten minutes of the race was hilarious. What on earth is a military dad anyway? Does he lob a grenade at you when you fail a test? If so, I think I've got a "military mother".

Remember to watch Hot Shots today! It'll totally rock.

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention: Happy Sweet Sixteenth Birthday Xinling! Finally 16 and of age, you sizzling hottie* (inside joke) eh ;). Hope you have a good birthday even though it's stuck right in the middle of the Prep Prelims. Thanks for being so incredibly wacky, insane and fun to be around!

HOT SHOTS :D

2004-07-15T22:23:00.000+08:00

Watch Hot Shots tomorrow on Channel 5 at 745 PM, you won't regret it. Trust me.

[Insert Witty Title]

2004-07-14T19:29:00.000+08:00

English and A Maths today. They weren't that bad actually and after looking up the thesaurus and dictionary, I think all my vocab answers for the English Paper are right! Yayyy! I hate Chelsea Clinton. I remember reading about her in a copy of the National Enquirer . She went to some far-flung exotic location for a vacation and got spotted. Apparently, she was with her boyfriend and they had a huge fight on the second day because she made Matt Damon do a lap dance for her. And there were some really unflattering pictures of her in a bikini. It's weird, the comprehension didn't mention anything about her inheriting Hillary's turkey arms. Maybe all the Indian women had really nice and cellulite-free arms.

As for A Maths, I sincerely believe that had I tried a more orthodox method (read:studying) instead of putting the TYS under my pillow last night, I might have been actually able to pass it. But it wasn't that bad too. I think I will score higher this time as compared to my last CA which I recall was a measly 10 upon 100.

Skipped Chemistry tuition today, too much Geography, too little time. I've already given up on Mother Tongue already. There's no way I can cram two books worth of it into my brain in one day; I even have trouble understanding Chinese TV programmes. Come to think of it, I have trouble finding my brain nowadays, much less putting information into it.

Thank you Chee Yao. (: And oh, I uploaded your song successfully yesterday. Get the link from me when you want it.

Expect more of these sort of updates at least until after the exams. It's hard to be funny when you spend 4 to 5 hours stuck in a hall writing and writing and writing on top of having to listen to Tan Teck Poh's nasal and irritating voice and you come back home to spend the rest of the day reading up on things such as How To Find The Area Of A Curve and Impacts of Tourism on Peninsular Malaysia. I mean, what tourism? Everyone goes to Malaysia for the pirated VCDs only.

So anyway, since I've nothing to do and my head is already exploding with facts about agriculture and tourism and I have fully no intention of studying Higher Mother Tongue whatsoever, I've decided to write an impassionate rant about the horrors of Singapore's education system.

Think about the last time you had fun. When was that? Last year, when you were happily bunging people in Gunbound? Or seven years ago, when you were nine, and had just won your first Happy Familygame against your cousins? Or was it never? Yes, exactly. Singapore's ominously regimented and stiff education system has forced the very notion of "fun" out of our heads. Or in the case of a select group of people (like 4/6), there was never space in their head for such a notion in the first place, not alongside the newly-installed Nerdcarta 5.22. No child who has schooled before in our nation can think of having fun when all we do everyday is study, study and study.

The repercussions of having fun are heavy, we are warned. A bleak future as a cleaning servant, or a kopitiam drink vendor lies ahead of us, as well as having to be subservient to those who hold the be-all and end-all degree in their hands and not having a steady income.

Too many a time I've seen kids, who yearn to be free and roam about in the playground, flicking sand at each other, going up and down endlessly on the see-saw, the slide only to be brought crashing back to Earth with the ominous reminder of yet another tuition lesson or another extra class. At the rate we're going now, kids will be able to read and write at 3, speak German, French, Italian, Spanish at 6, appreciate wine at 7, discuss quantum physics at 8, buy their house at 14 and retire at the ripe old age of 21. Is that what we want of our children? To mature so fast they have no time to enjoy their childhood? To look back on their childhood photographs and say things like "Ah, this was when I was 5, having pre-school-school Chemistry tuition."? To grow up and be like, horror of all horrors, 4/6?

We toil the years away, slogging from Primary School to Secondary School to JC to University to work, and when we finally can stop and smell the roses, it's too fucking late because half of us would be having meatloaf with God (or curry with Satan, if you're Ling Hui) and the other half would be staring up at the hospital morgue. There won't be any roses to smell; how does frangipani sound, though?

No politician is probably going to read this but the important thing to know is that there are more things to life than just getting an A1 for every subject you take, be it Physics or History Of Polka Dots. There are more things to life than those trophies and plaques and medals that are so preciously hoarded. There are more things, out there... like living life.

And if I have to choose between living such an empty barren life and the kopitiam, all I can say is, TEH-O KAU!

No SOCIAL life (get it?)

2004-07-13T18:09:00.000+08:00

Do you get the title? I love coming up with puns nowadays... they're totally funny! Karen's idea: You've been PUNNed. Hee!

Er, in case you don't get the pun, it's like that because the Social Studies Prep Prelim today was totally disastrous. I didn't manage to finish the Source Based and the parts I did finish I crapped out completely. And I haven't finished studying Geography, nor A Maths, nor Higher Mother Tongue but here I am anyway, blogging and on the computer. What? I've got my priorities, you know. And it seems everyone has, too. Ying Ying is so laidback about the exams she's practically horizontal. Chee Yao is online a whole lot, as is Matthew. [EDIT NUMBER ONE: Ok, since you can't take a tiny comment like that, then forget it. Don't bother coming to my blog anymore. Stop being so oversensitive. I wasn't referring to you. I was just making a general comment and note about how everyone seems to be slacking and it so happened that I ended the paragraph with a reference to you. But it's OK though. Choose to take it however you like, and if you think I'm going to apologize to you for a wrong I didn't commit, you can dream on.]

Also, my computer nearly crashed yesterday. After some checking, my brother uncovered the 9008234234348th bug which has plagued my computer. Oh, and in case all of you don't know, my floppy drive doesn't work as well, I have a monitor that gives out light like the Sun, my printer has long given in and I have to open "My Documents" to get into Internet Explorer. And you thought you had it bad when your computer crashes only once every few months. Love your computers, people! The last I checked, I've made at least 20000 promises to God to not smoke, or drink or drive or drink while driving, or drive while drinking if he'd just let my computer get into the Windows Operating System without a hitch.

So anyway after school Liyanah had to go home and Matthew was with 4/4 (as usual) and Aileen was either dating or staying in school, so I went off with Yi Jun and Mei Kuan to McDonald's. [EDITED NUMBER TWO: LOVE BACKSEAT CENSORSHIP. LOVE IT.]

My life, like my computer, needs the repair shop. Urgh.

Crybaby Bitch

2004-07-12T17:48:00.000+08:00

Things happen when you least expect them. Whatever the case, my prayers are with Wei Sheng and Guan Long. From what I hear, they are both OK but I just hope everything's alright now. In case you haven't heard, Wei Sheng was involved in an accident just outside our school at about 3 PM and Guan Long narrowly missed the bike only. There are people much more deserving in our school of being knocked into by a bike, and neither of those two people are on that list.

Anqi, from Sec 3, is however firmly ensconced in her position at the top of that particular list after her completely insensitive and politically incorrect comment today. Hello? "It's ok" just because the person who got hit by a car isn't someone you know? How would you like it if I sliced off your leg? It'd be OK too, right? I mean, you barely know your leg after all! It's just a part of your body too, you don't have any emotional attachment to it, so no biggie! And seriously, I'll admit I'm rather tempted to do so. For someone who's turning on the waterworks 90% of the time while she's in school, you sure don't have much sensitivity. To think that you said it in the face of all his friends. You're lucky none of them kicked your sorry little crybaby ass all the way to Mars. Maybe you'd have been OK if you got hit by a motorcycle, since you seem to possess the hide of a rhinoceros. I have a mouth as huge as the Grand Canyon, but even I know better than to go shooting off my mouth like that.

And Toh Ling Hui, kindly stop voting for yourself in my poll. Just because I set the options to free voting doesn't mean that you're given carte blanche to vote for yourself and Jingying. I can check the IPs here on my Administration Panel at Bravenet.com and it's just pathetic. Also, voting for yourself is self-delusion. Face up to it, most of the Andersonians who surf my blog would choose death over spending even a second with you or Jingying. But then again, self-delusion has always been your forte, hasn't it? After all, it's what you've been doing everytime you look into the mirror in the past 16 years.

And to whoever is holding onto my Simon Cowell book, could you please return it to me? I forgot who I lent it to... thanks!

Also, contrary to what was written on my blog on Sunday, Aileen, Liyanah, Mei Kuan, Yi Jun are not anti-Jasmine. Nope. Not one bit. I take it all back. I fabricated all that and talked utter crap. Now I hope all of you are happy with what I have written on my blog. It would so kill me if you guys didn't like my opinion.

Shut Up, Eat Shit and Die, JASSmine

2004-07-11T16:02:00.000+08:00

I've been studying Social Studies ever since 830 AM this morning and it's time I got a well-deserved break. Watched Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius in the morning and slacked about the house until 2 PM when Top Secret came on. That show was hilarious, I nearly bust a gut while watching it. It's all physical comedy so I'm not even going to try and describe it. All I've got to say is that if you've missed it, you missed out on a huge lot of comedy. And there's Gilmore Girls later at 6 PM! I can't wait, I just love Gilmore Girls totally.

And as for the Preps, well, I'm completely dead. I've not touched Chinese, Geography or A Maths one bit. The only stuff I've done so far is to study Physics and Chemistry and Social Studies. I have as much a chance of passing this exam as Goh stands of growing a follicle, in other words, zero chance.

Haryati, you're not to blame at all for what took place on Friday. You were just being the good friend that you were, and lending a listening ear. Someone else is, and I hope she's feeling good about spoiling a wonderfully planned movie trip just to spill out her fucking histrionics and relationship problems to you at the expense of our trip.

Also, I've been blogsurfing around recently and it just surprises me to see how completely hypocritical some people are. But since Jasmine intends to let it all hang out (no, not her body, for that the phrase would be "roll out"), I'll play along and let this degenerate into a slanging match in front of the house.

Ok, for starters, Jasmine, let me clarify something first. Since you so openly condemn what we do, which in your words includes "make caustic remarks, laugh at other ppl's misfortunes, laugh at other ppl's looks when i dun have d zi ge or tiao jian to do so, bitch n bitch n bitch abt other ppl, juz to fit in", let me remind you that you were once part of our group (as much as I don't want to admit it) and you partook rather actively, as I recall, in this bitching and laughing that you brought up, and now you're playing the holier-than-thou bitch by castigating us for our actions? Take that stick out of your fat charred ass and get off your high horse, because you're no better than us. It's also ironic that you should condemn bitching when you bitched about the girl who was with Tommy in the library that day. Also, it makes me wonder, exactly of what concern is it to you who Tommy hangs out with? You're not even with him anymore. (Wise Choice, Tommy!) Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but you seemed to have bitched about Grace so many times. And what's worse, from what I hear, you still talk to her and pretend to be nice to her. It's no wonder you're so fat, one of the perks of being two-faced is that you've got two mouths too. Do you eat a KFC Buddy Meal by yourself as well?

And you know what? At least the caustic remarks I make and the bitching and laughing that I do help me fit in. As for you? You never fit in, not for one moment. You were, oh excuse me, I mean, you are forever trying to push yourself in where you don't belong (read: between Mei Kuan and Yi Jun, and for a short period of time, with the ex 2/3 girls). You invite yourself along on outings and gatherings where you're not needed and despite the hints that I left on my blog, you never took them and continued to park your pudgy irritating ass at our bench, annoying the living shit out of both me and Matthew. Please be reminded that I'm not the only person who doesn't like you, too.

Yes, did you hear me? There are other people who DISLIKE you. It's just that they don't want to make things awkward because they're mostly in the same class as you. Think about it. Why didn't Mei Kuan and Yi Jun fiercely defend you when I left those hints on my blog? Why didn't Aileen speak up for you? Liyanah doesn't count, as Liyanah is so kind she passionately campaigns for humanity to all lifeforms, regardless of how pathetic and unwanted they are (think Kenneth). How sad is your existence when you're labelled among Kenneth's ranks, hmm?

Perhaps you should analyze the reason why no one can stand you. Could it be because of the fact that you constantly feign interest in American Idol when you have absolutely zero enthusiasm in it just so you can have a subject to broach during recess because you're so desperate to ingratiate yourself with us and you have nothing else to say as a direct result of having the personality of an underwater hairdryer? Stop pretending you don't care, because no one's buying it.

To be honest, I'd rather run my nose down a giant cactus than be around you during recess and have to put up with your irritating face glancing over at me, trying to listen in on what I'm saying and spoiling any attempt at casual conversation at the table.

You don't want to be with our group? Consider that feeling mutual, darling, because you're as welcome as a millipede in a bowl of salad, you grotty, hypocritical, two-faced piece of dog turd.

There, I feel much better now.

Tea Party In The Cubicle

2004-07-10T18:43:00.000+08:00

Ahh, first off, I'll start by commenting on the recent episode of conflicts and drama and whatnot that have happened today and yesterday on a couple of Andersonian blogs.

I personally don't agree with Numbskull's entry on class spirit but I don't think it is right of others to chastise or harangue him for his opinion on it. You might not agree with it, but it's what he feels. The idea of a blog is to air your views and opinions about things, as well as write about your life. What Numbskull thinks and says is his problem and no one has the power to tell him what he should and shouldn't think or feel.

At any rate, I'm glad to see the whole matter has blown over and is all water under the bridge now.

We have a rule that tells us to answer the phone with a cheery, "Hello," rather than, "Hoffman Estates Fire Department," or "Zugzug," (unless, of course, you are a firefighter in Hoffman Estates or an orc peon from Warcraft, but there are exceptions to everything). We have a rule guiding our over-spending in December and one telling us that when others over-spend on us, it means we are happy, popular, and loved. We even have a rule stating that all children must spend at least 9 years at a local institute of education and be subject to the ancient, hideous, authoritarian and in some cases, bald monsters that are teachers. In any case, rules exist, they are generally followed, and chaos is averted. Unfortunately, gaps do exist in the fabric of cultural reality, and I have taken it upon myself to start knitting. I have beckoned you here to say one thing: The next time you think about using the handicapped stall in a public building, think again. The tea party in the cripple stall has got to stop. RIGHT NOW.

Allow me to elaborate further. I recently stopped by at a shopping mall on the way home (Junction 8) and was in the toilet when I witnessed a perfectly healthy and normal-looking twenty-something year old man barge into the Handicapped Stall while a poor guy in a wheelchair outside, unable to beat him in the race to the stall, waited outside with increasing urgency while trying not to do number two. Call me cynical, but I really couldn't see in what way was the twenty year old man handicapped, except maybe perhaps that he was unable to process the sign with the image of a man sitting in a chair in it as "stall for the crippled". That's it! Maybe he was mentally handicapped. Or rather, he just wanted to take a crap in a bigger space and without any consideration for the needs of the other handicapped guy, decided to hog the stall.

This culprit is among the two types of main offenders I've identified in hogging the cripple stall at toilets. He is the I-Gotta-Shit Offender. For some reason, beyond the scope of my pea brain, people look at the stick-figure wheelchair guy in restrooms and think it stands for "Defecation Villa." You know who you are. I guess people use that stall for their dirty work because it puts them at maximum distance from other bathroom-goers, thus reducing the potential embarrassment. But guess what? I can smell you from here.

The other major offender is slightly more forgivable. It's the Mom With Small Children faction. These are the people who bring their posse o' opossums into the handicapped stall and force me to listen to things like, "now you go weewee" and "are you sure you can't go? Can you hold it for 20 minutes? I don't want you to pee you pants like you did yesterday" while I'm forced to hold it. really. I can't blame the MWSC people, since their use of the cripple stall only proves that larger stalls are required in public places. I do, however, blame women that (1) act like they have the place to themselves and (2) glare at me when they leave like I'm a pervert stalking their families. You too...have a nice day. (Don't get me wrong; I am a pervert, just not the Micheal-Jackson kind.)

By this point, you might be thinking that I'm overreacting, because such incidents hardly happen at all. But think about it. One day you could be seated in that wheelchair (you're excused for 5 seconds here to find the nearest block of wood and touch it) and how would you like it if someone who was perfectly healthy cut queue and took your place in the cripple stall? I know it almost never happens. But you know what? I see one every time I use a public restroom, and there is someone needlessly hogging the cripple stall at least 80% of the time. The clincher is that when someone is in a regular stall, there is a quick turnaround time. Enter. Close and lock door. ***. Unzip. Drop. Sit. Pee. Grab toilet paper. Use toilet paper. Stand up. Raise. Zip. Unlock and open door. Total pit stop time: 43 seconds (don't forget to wash your hands). When the IGS or MWSC enters the handicapped stall, however, the story is totally different. IGS especially, I notice, likes to sing to himself while doing the deed. Perhaps that's why he takes about a fucking hour to finish what he's doing. Or he sang his penis to sleep and so he had to jumpstart it. There has got to be some explanation.

***- For females, insert about 15 minutes to pinch nose, squeal "Ewww! This place stinks!", rummage in handbag for tissue, line seat, sit down and think pleasant thoughts.

Whatever the case is, the point is never to hog a cripple stall when you are a perfectly normal person, because it's the most inconsiderate thing in the world, next to picking your nose, curling your snot in a ball and leaving it on the toilet walls. Got it?

Don't Mess With Me, I MEAN It (wordplay)

2004-07-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

I was intending to watch Mean Girls today but in the end we cancelled out because Haryati couldn't make it due to someone who needed desperately confide in her. All I've got to say to that person is: tighten your screws, because you're completely loose. And the only reason you're confiding in Haryati is because Aileen, Irvin, Xing Hong and Liyanah are all unfortunately available at that specific time. Anyhow, thanks for spoiling my day (not to mention Nadia and Ferlin's)! As a token of appreciation, we'd like to present you with the concept of virtues. You seem to have completely lost those while on your crusade to violate every single hot-blooded male in our school. Or would you like a box of contraceptives instead?

I really needed to watch that movie. I didn't even put that person's name on my blog. See, I'm getting soft in my old age.

Vote, vote, vote in the poll! Ling Hui and Jingying are now at tied at 4 votes each while 36 people have already chosen the path of death over spending time with the two. A good choice, I might add. Ling Hui is such a loser that it even hurts me to look at her. Fancy asking people to musicals and plays and movies and god knows what. And did you see that awful tube top that she wore to the Esplanade for the drama showing? It looked like she wore someone's car seat. How do you live with yourself when you're desperate, unwanted, ugly and have no fashion sense? I'd rather kill myself. But I guess she's survived in the same way that cockroaches have been surviving since the prehistoric ages. Yes, they've been around for that long. Why wouldn't they? They thrive on annoying us, scaring us and stealing our food when we're not looking. If I lived my life like that, I'd be able to stay alive for at least 5000 years.

It just occurred to me that day how extremely spoilt and bratty some Singaporeans are. It was only last week that I was sitting at my computer, happily receiving songs off the Shrek 2 soundtrack from Chee Yao when all of a sudden, everything around me turned pitch black. This was probably the first black-out I had experienced in 6 years, and for that short length of 15 minutes, I bemoaned the woes of not having access to the TV, the computer and the radio and all the wonderful things that keep me alive in this world. And yes, I'm ashamed to say that like any other spoilt Singaporean child, I myself sulked and pouted and bitched about sleeping without air-conditioner even it isn't really the be-all and end-all. Unfortunately, Anderson's unwarranted pride in the Temporary Block displays their lack of knowledge of said point.

We just don't appreciate the things that are around us. We really don't. When there was a black-out, we all bitched and moaned and whined about how terribly hot it was and the TV we were missing. One of the good things was that it happened during Tuesday night, when there wasn't any good TV on. If it had been on Wednesday Night during American Idol, I would have probably jumped off a building. But in this case, the show we missed was Smallville. Channel 5 shouldn't have replayed the episode for the sake of those 15 minutes. I can already sum up the whole episode for you, even though I didn't watch it: and Clark saved the day.

At that moment during the blackout, I came to realize how precious the water, the electricity and the air around us was and how they could all be taken away from us all in a moment. To be honest, I think it's a pity that we haven't have had to go through what our parents/grandparents did: a war. Nothing hardens you and makes you resilient better than having to endure the hardships of war. Well, maybe except a Literature lesson. Also, nothing else can guarantee you at least a two-month break from school better than war, but don't tell anyone I said that.

Looking at the past few paragraphs, it's either I've lost all sense of mind or blackouts do weird things to a person.

I was planning to write about the Amazing Race but that'll just have to wait till tomorrow because I've wasted about half a page and 10 minutes writing about a blackout. Jesus.

New Blog!

2004-07-08T23:02:00.001+08:00

First time on Blogger! Geez, I do hope this entry gets through; it had better, because I spent about the past 40 minutes trying to republish my blog, desperately hoping that the new html would show up and it finally did. This shows I've got a whole lot of learning to do, and I don't just mean about Physics, A Maths and Chemistry. But, unlike God, I couldn't declare a day of Sabbath and rest in my honor and so will have to rush on with this entry.

Chee Yao's blog amuses me to no end, really. It's so completely Lizzie McGuire except for perhaps the latest entry. His ability to make me laugh lies not so much with his wit and sarcasm but because of the way he writes! Almost everything ends with an exclamation mark! And a smilie! =S And his lame jokes too. There are people born with the innate ability to make others laugh, and Chee Yao is one of them. Karen is another and Mr. Yu completes the ranks of these people. Also, there are others who are not funny and despite how incredibly hard they try, will never attain that ability. Hello, Mr. Neo, how are you?

Also, I have to salute Karen here. I realize I haven't written much about this fantastic lady on my blog and today I shall dedicate a paragraph at my new blog in her honor. Karen is wonderful. She's eccentricity, humor, lameness, strength of character and warmth all rolled into one. Karen can just make anyone and everyone laugh. When you talk to her, it never fails to brighten up your day because she can always make the most hilarious comments and jokes. And when she talks to you, she's really interested to hear what you have to say. If she ever goes back to Hong Kong, I will miss her terribly. Thank you Karen for everything and all you have done for the class and for being a terrific friend!

Ah, recess is so incredibly fun nowadays! Especially without erhem, HCP .It's just Yi Jun, Mei Kuan, me, Matthew, Aileen and Liyanah and we have such great fun nowadays in the canteen. It's just one major bitchfest with everyone partaking and giving funny and constructive comments. Today some HCJC people tried to convince us into going to their funfair and I made up some ridiculous excuse that all of us would be going to a spa on that day, and that we had booked it in advance and that the masseurs would be so so disappointed if we had to cancel at the last minute, and that a tiny little boring funfair wouldn't matter much in the grand scheme of things, would it? It would have been perfect if I added that the masseurs were from Bulgaria and they were orphans specially trained in the Bulgarian School of International Massage Therapy and had started weeping at the thought of not having them massage us. Sadly, I don't think they bought a single word of it but it got them off our backs anyway so the objective was accomplished.

Time for the O.C.!